"So what are you doing when you drop us off?"

About 2:30a I pick up an older, incredibly unattractive man with a younger, attractive hooker that calls me directly for her car rides. Alcohol fumes are wafting into the car before they even get in. She is swaying as they stand on the corner. He, being a larger fella, sits in the middle of the backseat, she is scrunched up in the corner.

He: Hello sweetie. Can you give us a ride to * Hotel at the airport please.

I make eye contact with him, say "Certainly" and drive off.

After about 30 seconds into the ride I look in my rearview mirror to find him staring at me. I smile, somewhat uncertainly, and he just keeps staring. Great, it's going to be 'one of those' rides, I think to myself and sure enough, he grabs said hooker by the back of the neck and pretty much bends her in half to get her head into his lap.

He: Is this all right with you?

Me: If she leaves anything on the seat I'm going to charge you extra for it.

He: Oh, don't you worry, she won't leave anything on the seat if she knows what's good for her.

I just keep driving. Look in my rear view mirror and he is still staring me in the eye while the rest of him is occupied elsewhere. I just roll my eyes and drive. Next time I look up he is smirking at me for a second, then he gets this confused look on his corpulent face, kinda cocks his head to the side and then looks down.

Next thing I know, he buries his hand in her hair and picks up her head and says "Wake UP, bitch!"

She doesn't so he rolls her into the corner of the back seat. I just drive blithley along, trying not to laugh aloud when he says "Hey Cabbie?" and when I look up into the rearview mirror inquiringly he says "So what are you doing when you drop us off?"

Me: Nothing with you.



Susan said...

OMG! That is hilarious!

Sharon said...

Priceless! I don't know how you stopped from laughing out loud!

DriverD1 said...

that's nasty.