"I just bought this to get laid"

I pick up a sailor during Rose Festival's Fleet Week.

Me: 'Howdy Sailor!' I say with a smile.

He smiles back and tells me where we're off to.

Me: So what ya from?

He: Right here in Portland.

Me: Right on. That's gotta be cool, being able to come home and see the family and whatnot while you're docked.

He: Actually, ya know what? You seem like you're fairly cool.

Me: I am. Thanks.

He: Ha! I'm not actually a sailor.

Me: Huh. So what's with the whites?

He: I bought this at a thrift store for $5.00 so I could get laid this week.

Me: Huh. So how's that workin' out for ya?

He: Every night so far.

Me: Except tonight, right?

He: Not at all, tonight I got YOU.

Me: Oh puh-leeeeze. I'm the only sober woman you're going to run into for the next 3 days, do you really think that's gonna work on ME?

He: Well, I had to try. You're kinda cute, do you wanna come in?

Me: Oh jeez. We're here. Good thing I didn't have more time to think about it or I just might have. Good luck to you.

...