"I'll give you a fifsky if you'll blow me in the parking lot."

I pick up these 3 young men at the corner of the newest hot bar in town.

Funny guy #1 gets shotgun, other 2 in back.

FG1: Hey Dude. Oh wow ... excuse me ... Hi Honey! Hey guys, check this out, we got us a FEmale cabbie! Now you know why I always get the front seat. Hi Baby.

FG2: Hey, she's kinda hot!

Me: Yeah, yeah. Where we off to fellas?

FG3: Anywhere you wanna take us.

FG2: Yeah, we wanna come home with YOU!!

Me: Uh-huh. Since we know that isn't going to happen where would you like me to drop you?

FG1: How about someplace that serves food this late. I bet you know where everything good is, huh?!

Titters from the peanut gallery.

Me: Of course I do. But since I'm only taking you as far as it takes to get you to some decent food you might wanna strap in.

FG1: I love it when a lady says that to me.

More titters.

FG2: How about you join us?

FG3 and 1: Yeah!! Come on, we'll buy!

Me: Aw shucks fellas, thanks for the offer, but I'm workin' here.

FG1: Come on. Look, what'll it cost for us to buy you dinner? You get paid by the hour, right?

Me: No, I don't. And, really, thanks for the offer, but I just can't. I tell ya what though, I'll drop you someplace where there is a LOT hotter gals than I that might actually find you charming. Whatchasay?

FG2: Hey, I like you. You're cool.

FG3: All right. We're at your mercy baby.

FG1 is just starting at me, assessing. 'That look' I get.

Me: Heh. Funny.

We get to the restaurant, the 2 fellas in back get out.

FG3: Thanks for The Ride.

FG2: Yeah. That's the best Ride I've gotten from a woman in a long time.

Me: Oh, how sad for you that must be if I'm the best you've gotten in awhile. wink Bye boys.

FG1 is in the process of paying, says "One sec" to his friends.

FG1: Look, you're really kinda hot. I'll give you a fifsky if you'll take me around the corner and blow me in the parking lot. Really. Look, here's my money.

He pulls a $50. bill out of his pocket.

Me: Wow. That's a lot of money for such a small job. wink I appreciate the offer, really, but just the fare please.

FG1: I just had to try one more time. You're cool. Have a good night.

Me: You too.



stormchaser said...

Came across your blog by chance. I'm pleased that I did, so far it's quite humorous. Thanks for the smile!

(Be careful while you're out there)

Manic Witch said...

The sad thing is that it sounds like the idiot thought he was doing you a favor by letting you blow him.