I have about 45 mins. to kill before I have to go pick up a 'regular' at about 4:30a to take to the airport. I sit at the Hilton downtown and play some Nintendo, not accepting any calls. A young man staggers up to me and tries to get in my backseat.
Me: Hey there. Sorry, I have to go pick someone up. I can call another cab for you though.
He: Hey. Why's the door locked?
Me: I always have my doors locked. Sorry. Would you like me to call you another cab?
He: Yeah. Sure. I need to go to Hillsboro.
Me: Well, where abouts in Hillsboro? The person I have to pick up is in that area.
He: Ummmm. By the Max station.
Me: Ok. Which one?
He: I don't know. The one off Washington.
Me: Ah. Ok. Ya know that's gonna cost ya about $45. right?
He: Yeah. I just need to get home. The Max stopped running.
Me: Yeah, I get a lot of people this time of night that say that. That going to be cash or credit?
He: Ummmmm. Cash.
Me: All right. So, for me to take you that far out of town, this late at night, I need cash up front. That going to be a problem?
He: Nah. I got it. Let's just get going. I need to get home. Unlock the door.
Me: Ok. But for me to go anywhere I need some sort of deposit.
He: All RIGHT. Shit. Just let me ... checking his pockets ... Oh shit! Man. Ya know WHAT?
Me: What's that?
He: Shit. Man. When I was buying dope earlier I think I left my wallet at dudes house.
Me: Well, that could be a problem. So you don't have any money on you?
He: No. Shit. You take credit cards?
Me: Sure. Long as it's in your name, valid, and you have valid i.d.
He: Cool. I got it. Let's get going. Open the door.
Me: I tell ya what, why don't you give me your card now and I'll start running it now.
He: Ok. checking pockets again. Um. Well ... it's ...
Me: ... in your wallet right?
He: Yeah. Can you just take me to where my wallet is? It's just down the street.
Me: I tell ya what, if it's just down the street why don't you wander on down and get it. I'll wait right here, for 1/2 hour and when you come back, with some form of legal tender I'll give you a ride. K?
He: Ah hell. All right. But are you going to wait?
Me: I said I'll wait right here, for half an hour, that's it.
He: I've just had so many of you drivers say you're going to wait and then you don't. You guys always drive off as soon as I walk off. I bet you won't give me a ride because I'm black huh?! You're gonna get scared just like all the other fuckin' cab drivers out here.
Me: Are you KIDDING me? You're trying to get ME to give YOU a ride when you try to get into my FOR-HIRE CAB without any MONEY, and then you pull the race card and try and guilt me into it when I say no? Gimme a break here.
He: All right. All right. I'm just kidding. I just need a ride. I really did forget my wallet.
Me: Right. Well, I'll be here for another 25 minutes. If you come back here, WITH some legal form of payment, I'll give you a ride. That's the best I can do for ya.
He: All right. I'll be right back. You'll be here, right?
Me: With bells on.
I wasn't surprised that he didn't make it back on time. Are you?