... male, Ethiopian, amusing and easily understood (!).
blah blah blah ...
He: Yeah. That's one of the reasons why I prefer American women to African.
Me: Hm. What is? Exactly.
He: African women talk to each other about men too much.
Me: You mean gossip? We all do that, it's a human thing, not just man/woman.
He: Yeah, but African women get more detailed. Once you sleep with one woman and she finds out you have a small dick then she tells every other woman in the country and you never have sex again.
Me: admirably suppressing my laughter Hunh. And you're thinking white women aren't like that? Maybe we just don't have as large a group of friends as the ladies in Africa.
He: Maybe. I don't think so.
blah blah blah
He: So are you EVER going to go out with me?
Me: Not now that I've found out you have a small dick, no.
heh
6/21/09
6/13/09
text msg conversation with a customer ...
fade in: I picked up these 2 young fellas from Tigard and took them to Sherwood, in the cab for about 15 minutes. They were pretty quiet so I was telling 'em some cab stories. Between the 2 of them they said - maybe - 30 words the whole ride. This was about 1am Friday night.
2:51am
Little Boy: Hey
Me: Hey yourself.
3:53am
LB: How is it going
Me: Do you realize who you are texting?
LB: Yeah
Me: Hunh. Looking for more cab stories?
LB: I want some story about you
Me: Little boy I am old enough to turn you over my knee and spank your narrow ass.
LB: Yeah would you like that
Me: You might want to stop this now.
LB: Yeah right lol
Me: Seriously. I'm old enough to be your mommy.
LB: How old i like them old
Me: Too old. Isn't it past your bedtime little boy?
LB: I'm not a kid 21 so what up
I picked up a customer so couldn't respond right away ...
LB: You dont want it then
Me: As appealing as you make IT sound, no. Thank you.
LB: What
LB: Ill make it worth it baby
Me: Hm. So now I'm Baby huh? Doll, this stuff doesn't work on me. Go find a cute young girl to play with.
LB: Why not you
Me: I think sublety isn't working. Thanks for the enticing offer, but no.
LB: Ok
I thought that would be the end of it but nooooOOOOOoooo ... next night, 12:35am
LB: Hey sexy
Me: Oh Lord. You couldn't find anyone else to play with?
LB: No i want to play with you
Me: C'mon now, why me?
LB: Cause i like old gales (sic) and i want you
Me: Trust me, you don't want me.
LB: So what do you think
Me: I think not.
LB: Ok peace i just wanted a peace of ass anyways
Me: I assumed. Good luck with that little boy.
It's been a whole week now, no new messages. I think I've been rejected. ;o)
2:51am
Little Boy: Hey
Me: Hey yourself.
3:53am
LB: How is it going
Me: Do you realize who you are texting?
LB: Yeah
Me: Hunh. Looking for more cab stories?
LB: I want some story about you
Me: Little boy I am old enough to turn you over my knee and spank your narrow ass.
LB: Yeah would you like that
Me: You might want to stop this now.
LB: Yeah right lol
Me: Seriously. I'm old enough to be your mommy.
LB: How old i like them old
Me: Too old. Isn't it past your bedtime little boy?
LB: I'm not a kid 21 so what up
I picked up a customer so couldn't respond right away ...
LB: You dont want it then
Me: As appealing as you make IT sound, no. Thank you.
LB: What
LB: Ill make it worth it baby
Me: Hm. So now I'm Baby huh? Doll, this stuff doesn't work on me. Go find a cute young girl to play with.
LB: Why not you
Me: I think sublety isn't working. Thanks for the enticing offer, but no.
LB: Ok
I thought that would be the end of it but nooooOOOOOoooo ... next night, 12:35am
LB: Hey sexy
Me: Oh Lord. You couldn't find anyone else to play with?
LB: No i want to play with you
Me: C'mon now, why me?
LB: Cause i like old gales (sic) and i want you
Me: Trust me, you don't want me.
LB: So what do you think
Me: I think not.
LB: Ok peace i just wanted a peace of ass anyways
Me: I assumed. Good luck with that little boy.
It's been a whole week now, no new messages. I think I've been rejected. ;o)
5/9/09
Not a story, but funny stuff for you ...
I'll be back to story-ing soon ... just quit my 2nd job and am now just driving again. While I build up some stories ya'll should check out these sights. ;o)
1) http://textsfromlastnight.com - what it sounds like, people send in their texts from last night. Who can argue with stuff like this:
(918): Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
(515): I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
or this:
(310): im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
2) http://oicollege.com - Only In College, The stories you'll never tell your parents.
3) http://www.superdickery.com/ - some dude takes covers or frames from old comics and makes comments.
Enjoy. Be back soon ...
1) http://textsfromlastnight.com - what it sounds like, people send in their texts from last night. Who can argue with stuff like this:
(918): Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
(515): I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
or this:
(310): im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
2) http://oicollege.com - Only In College, The stories you'll never tell your parents.
3) http://www.superdickery.com/ - some dude takes covers or frames from old comics and makes comments.
Enjoy. Be back soon ...
3/7/09
Ya know how you have the perfect response if some wild situation EVER comes up ... ?
Well, it happened!!
Sitting in the office one night, twiddling my thumbs (playing Pinball on the 'puter as we don't have 'net access) when I get a call.
Me: Trixie Cab, this is Trixie.
He: Hey Trixie, this is Habib. (NOT his real name)
Me: Hey Habib. What's shakin'?
He: I'm locked in my car.
Me: Yeah, right. What's really going on?
He: No. I'm serious. I'm locked in my car.
Me: thinking this guy has never really joked with me before so he might be serious Um, your cab?
He: No personal car.
Me: ... Seriously?
He: I'm not kidding you.
Me: Dude ... you're locked IN your car??
He: As silly as that sounds, yes.
Me: Well hell. Is the top down?? this is the one I've had stored up for years, I'm sure you've all heard various blonde jokes about this situation.
He: Um ... what?
Me: Sorry, American humor, you wouldn't get it. So, where you at?
He: In the parking lot.
Me: What kinda car you got? he told me And what is it you're expecting me to do? I'm guessing your keys are in there with you, yes?
He: Yeah.
Me: Can you roll the windows down? I couldn't help it ... this was some funny shit!!
He: Come on now Trixie, I have no power to my car. The doors are locked, no windows, etc. Can you come out here, please?
Me: Sure, but what do you want me to do ... break a window?
He: NO! I have a set of spare keys in the cab, it's still running in front of where I'm parked. Just come get them and let me out.
Me: Hunh. All right. Be right there.
As I was walking out there he came running up, apparently the back door was unlocked so he crawled through the seats to get out.
This amused the bejesus outta me.
Sitting in the office one night, twiddling my thumbs (playing Pinball on the 'puter as we don't have 'net access) when I get a call.
Me: Trixie Cab, this is Trixie.
He: Hey Trixie, this is Habib. (NOT his real name)
Me: Hey Habib. What's shakin'?
He: I'm locked in my car.
Me: Yeah, right. What's really going on?
He: No. I'm serious. I'm locked in my car.
Me: thinking this guy has never really joked with me before so he might be serious Um, your cab?
He: No personal car.
Me: ... Seriously?
He: I'm not kidding you.
Me: Dude ... you're locked IN your car??
He: As silly as that sounds, yes.
Me: Well hell. Is the top down?? this is the one I've had stored up for years, I'm sure you've all heard various blonde jokes about this situation.
He: Um ... what?
Me: Sorry, American humor, you wouldn't get it. So, where you at?
He: In the parking lot.
Me: What kinda car you got? he told me And what is it you're expecting me to do? I'm guessing your keys are in there with you, yes?
He: Yeah.
Me: Can you roll the windows down? I couldn't help it ... this was some funny shit!!
He: Come on now Trixie, I have no power to my car. The doors are locked, no windows, etc. Can you come out here, please?
Me: Sure, but what do you want me to do ... break a window?
He: NO! I have a set of spare keys in the cab, it's still running in front of where I'm parked. Just come get them and let me out.
Me: Hunh. All right. Be right there.
As I was walking out there he came running up, apparently the back door was unlocked so he crawled through the seats to get out.
This amused the bejesus outta me.
2/18/09
Yes, I'm fine ...
just really busy!
I'm thinking of starting yet another blog about the joys I'm having with all these drivers trying to set me up with their friends. Yup. Loads o' fun there. Ya'll remember what fun it was when you were dating, before you got married, attached, whatever? I was flying along happily in my ignorance until I started working in the office and actually dealing with people for more than just a few minutes at a time. Now I'm interacting. And apparently, pathetically single. So all these guys are trying to find me a man. This is loads of fun. Here's one:
One of the drivers is arguing with a friend on the phone about where he is at that moment. We're in the break room at work, about 10 of us, just kinda killing time, doing paperwork, that kinda stuff. He's a little loud. As I walk by him he tells me to tell the guy where he is at right now and holds the phone out to me. I lean down, real close to the phone and say:
Me: Baby, come back to bed, I NEED you NOW!!
The guy with the phone freaks out! Heh.
Me: Good thing that wasn't your girlfriend, huh?!
And I walk off.
So about 5 minutes later he walks up to me and hands me his phone:
Dr: He wants to talk to you.
Me: Who?
Dr: My friend. He thinks you have a great voice.
Me: I don't wanna talk to ANY friend of yours.
Dr: Come on. I can't talk to the guy, he won't shut up about you.
Me: Aw jeez. All right. 'Lo?
He: Hi! My name is Mike. What's yours?
Me: Your friend didn't tell you?
He: Well, yeah. He did.
Me: ... then why you asking? I don't make ANYthing easy.
He: Um. Well ...
Me: Don't work to well under pressure do you?
He: I ... wait. What?
Me: Nevermind. What's up?
He: I want to meet you.
Me: Well, let's not waste any time here. How about I get your number from your friend and call you later? I'm actually working here.
He: Yes. That's great! Call me later.
Me: All right. Toodles.
So I get Dude's number and call him about 8p last night.
Me: Hey, it's Trixie. You busy?
He: No! Wow. I didn't think you'd call.
Me: Why, are you heinous?
He: Am I what?
Me: Ugly? Deformed? Socially unacceptable?
He: Um ... I'm not ugly.
Me: snort All right. I'll let you go on this one. What's going on?
He: Where are you at?
Me: Home. How about you?
He: I'm giving a friend a ride home. Can I stop by your house?
Me: Hell no.
He: ... what?
Me: Hell. No. What part of that don't you understand?
He: Why not?
Me: Seriously? I haven't met you, why would I let you come to my house?
He: I just want to meet you.
Me: How about we decide if we like each other on the phone before we get to the going-to-your-home part, eh?
He: Ok. So ... can I stop by?
Me: I'm done talking to you.
He: What? Why?
Me: You're an idiot. And I don't talk to idiots. Unless I'm getting paid for it that is.
He: So ... that mean I can't come by?
Me: Good bye. and I hung up the phone
Jeez.
So he called me back about 5 minutes later. As if once wasn't enough.
Me: Hello?
He: Hey, it's Mike. Sorry, I just dropped off my friend. We've been drinking since about 3 this afternoon and he was getting a little loud.
Me: So this is the socially unacceptable part, right?
He: What do you mean?
Me: Not only are you an idiot for not understanding what the word "no" means but you drink and drive as well, eh?
He: Heh. Ok. Maybe. Can I come over?
Me: click
And he's called me about 10 times since then. I'm only concerned that he's going to show up at work while I'm there like the last one did. I'll tell you about that one some other time.
Gawd, I love being single. :o)
I'm thinking of starting yet another blog about the joys I'm having with all these drivers trying to set me up with their friends. Yup. Loads o' fun there. Ya'll remember what fun it was when you were dating, before you got married, attached, whatever? I was flying along happily in my ignorance until I started working in the office and actually dealing with people for more than just a few minutes at a time. Now I'm interacting. And apparently, pathetically single. So all these guys are trying to find me a man. This is loads of fun. Here's one:
One of the drivers is arguing with a friend on the phone about where he is at that moment. We're in the break room at work, about 10 of us, just kinda killing time, doing paperwork, that kinda stuff. He's a little loud. As I walk by him he tells me to tell the guy where he is at right now and holds the phone out to me. I lean down, real close to the phone and say:
Me: Baby, come back to bed, I NEED you NOW!!
The guy with the phone freaks out! Heh.
Me: Good thing that wasn't your girlfriend, huh?!
And I walk off.
So about 5 minutes later he walks up to me and hands me his phone:
Dr: He wants to talk to you.
Me: Who?
Dr: My friend. He thinks you have a great voice.
Me: I don't wanna talk to ANY friend of yours.
Dr: Come on. I can't talk to the guy, he won't shut up about you.
Me: Aw jeez. All right. 'Lo?
He: Hi! My name is Mike. What's yours?
Me: Your friend didn't tell you?
He: Well, yeah. He did.
Me: ... then why you asking? I don't make ANYthing easy.
He: Um. Well ...
Me: Don't work to well under pressure do you?
He: I ... wait. What?
Me: Nevermind. What's up?
He: I want to meet you.
Me: Well, let's not waste any time here. How about I get your number from your friend and call you later? I'm actually working here.
He: Yes. That's great! Call me later.
Me: All right. Toodles.
So I get Dude's number and call him about 8p last night.
Me: Hey, it's Trixie. You busy?
He: No! Wow. I didn't think you'd call.
Me: Why, are you heinous?
He: Am I what?
Me: Ugly? Deformed? Socially unacceptable?
He: Um ... I'm not ugly.
Me: snort All right. I'll let you go on this one. What's going on?
He: Where are you at?
Me: Home. How about you?
He: I'm giving a friend a ride home. Can I stop by your house?
Me: Hell no.
He: ... what?
Me: Hell. No. What part of that don't you understand?
He: Why not?
Me: Seriously? I haven't met you, why would I let you come to my house?
He: I just want to meet you.
Me: How about we decide if we like each other on the phone before we get to the going-to-your-home part, eh?
He: Ok. So ... can I stop by?
Me: I'm done talking to you.
He: What? Why?
Me: You're an idiot. And I don't talk to idiots. Unless I'm getting paid for it that is.
He: So ... that mean I can't come by?
Me: Good bye. and I hung up the phone
Jeez.
So he called me back about 5 minutes later. As if once wasn't enough.
Me: Hello?
He: Hey, it's Mike. Sorry, I just dropped off my friend. We've been drinking since about 3 this afternoon and he was getting a little loud.
Me: So this is the socially unacceptable part, right?
He: What do you mean?
Me: Not only are you an idiot for not understanding what the word "no" means but you drink and drive as well, eh?
He: Heh. Ok. Maybe. Can I come over?
Me: click
And he's called me about 10 times since then. I'm only concerned that he's going to show up at work while I'm there like the last one did. I'll tell you about that one some other time.
Gawd, I love being single. :o)
1/18/09
Hey now, remember me?? :o)
I got sent to a retirement facility to pick up this tiny little lady and take her to go play bingo not too long ago. I had to go to her door to fetch her, the instructions say "Be careful, 93 yo, moves slow but very independent". Okee Dokee.
I wander on up and knock on her door. She opens it and she is just the cutest, tiniest little old lady I've ever seen. She's got her hair and make up all done up, her big sparkly BINGO sweatshirt on, a big ol' smile and some strappy 4 inch heels. Nothing else.
I'm just standing there ... whooooooa.
Me: Oh. Well now, hello there.
She: Hi Honey. I'm ready.
Me: Are you sure??
She: Oh yes dear.
Me: You realize you forgot something there, right? As I'm saying this I'm pointing downwards towards her nekkid legs.
She: cackling like a biker that's been smoking 2 packs a day for the last 50 years HA! Just wanted to see if you'd notice!
Me: Well, jeez. Ok. I noticed. Now go put some drawers on, it's cold outside.
She: cackling s'more I like you Honey. I got something to show you.
Me: Something else?!
She: cackling again Hold on a second. She scoots herself and her little ol' walker around to where her backside is facing me: Now do you think these shoes make my legs look longer?? She asks as she's looking over her shoulder at me.
Me: Ya know, I think they'd look a whole lot longer if ya GO PUT SOME PANTS ON!!
She just laughs at me again and asks me to wait for her. She told me some fairly interesting stories about her life.
I like to think that if I make it to the age of 93 I'll have earned the right to wander 'round w/out my drawers. I don't plan on inflicting that on anyone, but I'll have definately earned the right.
I wander on up and knock on her door. She opens it and she is just the cutest, tiniest little old lady I've ever seen. She's got her hair and make up all done up, her big sparkly BINGO sweatshirt on, a big ol' smile and some strappy 4 inch heels. Nothing else.
I'm just standing there ... whooooooa.
Me: Oh. Well now, hello there.
She: Hi Honey. I'm ready.
Me: Are you sure??
She: Oh yes dear.
Me: You realize you forgot something there, right? As I'm saying this I'm pointing downwards towards her nekkid legs.
She: cackling like a biker that's been smoking 2 packs a day for the last 50 years HA! Just wanted to see if you'd notice!
Me: Well, jeez. Ok. I noticed. Now go put some drawers on, it's cold outside.
She: cackling s'more I like you Honey. I got something to show you.
Me: Something else?!
She: cackling again Hold on a second. She scoots herself and her little ol' walker around to where her backside is facing me: Now do you think these shoes make my legs look longer?? She asks as she's looking over her shoulder at me.
Me: Ya know, I think they'd look a whole lot longer if ya GO PUT SOME PANTS ON!!
She just laughs at me again and asks me to wait for her. She told me some fairly interesting stories about her life.
I like to think that if I make it to the age of 93 I'll have earned the right to wander 'round w/out my drawers. I don't plan on inflicting that on anyone, but I'll have definately earned the right.
12/12/08
This is an old one I never published 'cuz it's sad ...
When I worked for the other cab company (Brand X.) they didn't track how much we drove, when, where, or much of anything else for that matter. I kept my cab at home and drove whenever I got the urge, day or night, etc.
Early one morning last June I got sent to pick up the lady from the Marriott on Front St to take her to OHSU for her 'treatment'. This had been my 1st time getting her, but apparently she had a short term acct with us, she was in town for 2 wks getting some serious tests done and was going to Pill Hill to every single 4 hrs for a week so they could check the results. Her husband rode with her each time, holding her hand the whole way. She was weak, but in good spirits. I caught her on the last 2 days of her trips to the hospital and ended up readjusting my scheduled to pick her up every time so we had a lot of time to talk. They were a sweet couple. They ended up leaving the next day.
About a month later I get a call from her saying she was coming back to town for a bit and was wondering if I could pick her up from the airport and drive her around. Of course I did.
They're from Maine, long way from home. Her husband has to work and watch the kids this time, but he's calling her every couple of hrs to see how she is doing.
We have a bit more time to talk w/out her husband there. She tells me about how they were high school loves (in Texas) that lost touch, ran into each other on the street one day (in Montana) and reconnected 15 yrs later. Neither had children (and not from lack of trying) but were both married. They got divorced and married the day after both divorces were final then found out they were to be parents, to twins, a few months later. They are both madly in love with each other and their lives. It was a sweet story, and you could tell by her face she loved telling it.
She's only in town for a week and had one free day one so I took her around Ptld. Talking to her I found out she is an avid gardener and loves everything to do with plants so I took her up to the Rose Gardens, the Japanese Gardens (which, if you haven't seen, I highly recommend. It's a magical place) and out to Multnomah Falls. By the time we got to the falls she was moving a lot slower but still wanted to walk to the base and look at them. I got her back to the hospital not too long after that. She only stayed for another 2 days, but said she would call me when she came back to town the next month as the dr's said she was getting better and wouldn't have to be back for awhile. I took her to the airport one beautiful sunny day and was already talking to her about the places I would take her when she came back.
About 2 wks later her husband called me. She had peacefully died in her sleep the night before and she requested that he send me an airline ticket to get me out there and back for the funeral and that he give me a bit of money for driving her around that day as I wouldn't take any money from her then. I respectfully declined - she told me about their finances along with everything else we talked about. He also told me how she talked repeatedly about her last trip to Ptld and how much she enjoyed driving around with me, listening to my funny stories and anecdotes. She also asked that I forgive her for lying to me about getting better, but she didn't want to put a pall on our time.
He thanked me, repeatedly, for taking care of her while she was here as he couldn't be here due to work and kids. He said many, many other things that I couldn't really understand because he was crying almost as hard as I.
I'll never forget sweet Dauphine, and her incredible love for life and family.
Early one morning last June I got sent to pick up the lady from the Marriott on Front St to take her to OHSU for her 'treatment'. This had been my 1st time getting her, but apparently she had a short term acct with us, she was in town for 2 wks getting some serious tests done and was going to Pill Hill to every single 4 hrs for a week so they could check the results. Her husband rode with her each time, holding her hand the whole way. She was weak, but in good spirits. I caught her on the last 2 days of her trips to the hospital and ended up readjusting my scheduled to pick her up every time so we had a lot of time to talk. They were a sweet couple. They ended up leaving the next day.
About a month later I get a call from her saying she was coming back to town for a bit and was wondering if I could pick her up from the airport and drive her around. Of course I did.
They're from Maine, long way from home. Her husband has to work and watch the kids this time, but he's calling her every couple of hrs to see how she is doing.
We have a bit more time to talk w/out her husband there. She tells me about how they were high school loves (in Texas) that lost touch, ran into each other on the street one day (in Montana) and reconnected 15 yrs later. Neither had children (and not from lack of trying) but were both married. They got divorced and married the day after both divorces were final then found out they were to be parents, to twins, a few months later. They are both madly in love with each other and their lives. It was a sweet story, and you could tell by her face she loved telling it.
She's only in town for a week and had one free day one so I took her around Ptld. Talking to her I found out she is an avid gardener and loves everything to do with plants so I took her up to the Rose Gardens, the Japanese Gardens (which, if you haven't seen, I highly recommend. It's a magical place) and out to Multnomah Falls. By the time we got to the falls she was moving a lot slower but still wanted to walk to the base and look at them. I got her back to the hospital not too long after that. She only stayed for another 2 days, but said she would call me when she came back to town the next month as the dr's said she was getting better and wouldn't have to be back for awhile. I took her to the airport one beautiful sunny day and was already talking to her about the places I would take her when she came back.
About 2 wks later her husband called me. She had peacefully died in her sleep the night before and she requested that he send me an airline ticket to get me out there and back for the funeral and that he give me a bit of money for driving her around that day as I wouldn't take any money from her then. I respectfully declined - she told me about their finances along with everything else we talked about. He also told me how she talked repeatedly about her last trip to Ptld and how much she enjoyed driving around with me, listening to my funny stories and anecdotes. She also asked that I forgive her for lying to me about getting better, but she didn't want to put a pall on our time.
He thanked me, repeatedly, for taking care of her while she was here as he couldn't be here due to work and kids. He said many, many other things that I couldn't really understand because he was crying almost as hard as I.
I'll never forget sweet Dauphine, and her incredible love for life and family.
12/9/08
"That crazy bitch called the cops on me!"
So I've added some odd little responsibilities to my cab driving, now I'm somewhat of a supervisor for the drivers. I'm dealing with them on a whole new level as well as being a fellow driver. Interesting dynamics, lemmetellya. One of the things that happens is that I'm getting all kinds of calls asking me all kinds of questions. I get a call Saturday night, while I'm driving from a driver (who also happens to be one of the guys that I spend quite a bit of time talking to):
He: You aren't going to believe what just happened to me.
Me: Shoot.
He: I picked up this lady, to take her just a couple of miles. She wasn't in the cab for more than 5 minutes and she was ALL over me. Would not leave me alone. Telling me "I love your voice", "You smell so good", "Your voice is really turning me on". And the like.
Me: Ho boy. You expect me to believe this, right? this happens more often than you would believe ... well, I mean, to the GUYS as well. :o)
He: I'm not kidding! And it gets worse.
Me: OK, but keep to the facts, please.
He: It's all true!! So I get her to her home and she asks me to help her carry her stuff in the house.
Me: You didn't ... ?
He: No! But I carried it to her door. She asked me to come in but I said no and left. She was really freaking me out. A little scary.
Me: Yeah. So that's the end of it?
He: No! She called dispatch a little while ago and said that she had left some stuff in the back of my cab.
Me: Don't tell me ... she wanted you to come back, right??
He: YES!! I told them I wouldn't go back there 'cuz she was crazy and didn't leave anything in my cab, but she left her number and they told me I had to call her. She was begging me to come back and finish what I started!!
Me: You mean with your sexy voice and all that??
He: Yes! She's nuts, I'm telling you.
Me: So what happened?
He: I hung up on her. See what I mean? I knew you wouldn't believe me.
Me: Ah. OK. So that's where it ended?
He: Yes.
Me: Well, as long as you don't call her back you should be all right.
He: Oh, I won't. Believe that.
nah nah nah .... 5 minutes later ... he calls me again ...
He: So she called dispatch and told them she found her stuff. They sent me a message telling me I was off the hook.
Me: Then I guess you're covered. Ya might wanna tone down that sex appeal though. Just a thought.
He: Ha. Ha.
nah nah nah ... 10 minutes later ...
He: She called me back! Like ... 15 times!! I'm not answering the phone, what do I do??
Me: Oh wow. Dude, I had no idea you were THAT sexy! heh Ahem. Don't answer. That's all I can tell you. Unless you wanna call the cops and tell 'em you're being stalked I don't imagine there's much you can do.
He: She's really starting to annoy me. I just might answer the phone and tell her off, crazy bitch!
Me: Now don't be doing that. Then she'd be able to call the company and complain about you. Just keep ignoring her.
He: Yeah. I guess you're right. I'm taking someone to a bar in Vancouver, I'll call you when I get done.
Me: Toodles.
nah nah nah ... 20 minutes later ...
He: She called the cops on me!!
Me: Wait, WHAT?
He: That crazy bitch called the cops on me! Told them I stole her stuff and wouldn't give it back or answer my phone.
Me: Whoa. So I'm assuming they called you, what do they want? The police I mean.
He: I have to go back down there and show them her stuff isn't in my car.
Me: Seriously? How are they going to know you didn't just toss it in the river on the way down?
He: I don't know. What do I do?
Me: Well, what did you tell them you'd do? Did you say you'd go down there?
He: Yeah. I mean, I have to, don't I?
Me: Well, I'm guessing if you called them back and told them to call dispatch and ask them about her calling and saying that she found her stuff you'd probably be off the hook pretty quick.
He: ... I forgot all about that! Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll call you right back.
nah nah nah ... upshot ...
They called dispatch. They were able to tell them everything about where he picked her up, dropped off, how long he was there and about her calling back. He was off the hook for that one.
People are nuts sometimes, I tell ya.
He: You aren't going to believe what just happened to me.
Me: Shoot.
He: I picked up this lady, to take her just a couple of miles. She wasn't in the cab for more than 5 minutes and she was ALL over me. Would not leave me alone. Telling me "I love your voice", "You smell so good", "Your voice is really turning me on". And the like.
Me: Ho boy. You expect me to believe this, right? this happens more often than you would believe ... well, I mean, to the GUYS as well. :o)
He: I'm not kidding! And it gets worse.
Me: OK, but keep to the facts, please.
He: It's all true!! So I get her to her home and she asks me to help her carry her stuff in the house.
Me: You didn't ... ?
He: No! But I carried it to her door. She asked me to come in but I said no and left. She was really freaking me out. A little scary.
Me: Yeah. So that's the end of it?
He: No! She called dispatch a little while ago and said that she had left some stuff in the back of my cab.
Me: Don't tell me ... she wanted you to come back, right??
He: YES!! I told them I wouldn't go back there 'cuz she was crazy and didn't leave anything in my cab, but she left her number and they told me I had to call her. She was begging me to come back and finish what I started!!
Me: You mean with your sexy voice and all that??
He: Yes! She's nuts, I'm telling you.
Me: So what happened?
He: I hung up on her. See what I mean? I knew you wouldn't believe me.
Me: Ah. OK. So that's where it ended?
He: Yes.
Me: Well, as long as you don't call her back you should be all right.
He: Oh, I won't. Believe that.
nah nah nah .... 5 minutes later ... he calls me again ...
He: So she called dispatch and told them she found her stuff. They sent me a message telling me I was off the hook.
Me: Then I guess you're covered. Ya might wanna tone down that sex appeal though. Just a thought.
He: Ha. Ha.
nah nah nah ... 10 minutes later ...
He: She called me back! Like ... 15 times!! I'm not answering the phone, what do I do??
Me: Oh wow. Dude, I had no idea you were THAT sexy! heh Ahem. Don't answer. That's all I can tell you. Unless you wanna call the cops and tell 'em you're being stalked I don't imagine there's much you can do.
He: She's really starting to annoy me. I just might answer the phone and tell her off, crazy bitch!
Me: Now don't be doing that. Then she'd be able to call the company and complain about you. Just keep ignoring her.
He: Yeah. I guess you're right. I'm taking someone to a bar in Vancouver, I'll call you when I get done.
Me: Toodles.
nah nah nah ... 20 minutes later ...
He: She called the cops on me!!
Me: Wait, WHAT?
He: That crazy bitch called the cops on me! Told them I stole her stuff and wouldn't give it back or answer my phone.
Me: Whoa. So I'm assuming they called you, what do they want? The police I mean.
He: I have to go back down there and show them her stuff isn't in my car.
Me: Seriously? How are they going to know you didn't just toss it in the river on the way down?
He: I don't know. What do I do?
Me: Well, what did you tell them you'd do? Did you say you'd go down there?
He: Yeah. I mean, I have to, don't I?
Me: Well, I'm guessing if you called them back and told them to call dispatch and ask them about her calling and saying that she found her stuff you'd probably be off the hook pretty quick.
He: ... I forgot all about that! Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll call you right back.
nah nah nah ... upshot ...
They called dispatch. They were able to tell them everything about where he picked her up, dropped off, how long he was there and about her calling back. He was off the hook for that one.
People are nuts sometimes, I tell ya.
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