"You wanna go what direction to get there?"

This is a first for me. I'm used to mental 'infirmaties' if you will, but this one is to date the oddest I've run across.

I get sent to pick up a lady 'round about 1130p in inner NW Ptld. The terminal says "call on arrival/need to assist/vertigo/buzz room 605". OK. She's handicapped of some sort and needs assistance, call when you get there and buzz her room to get in the bldg. The "vertigo" thing ... I dunno how that applies to me, but I figure I'm somewhat safe as my car rides pretty low to the ground.

I get over there, do as told and wait for her to come down. When she does she has a cane and has tears streaming down her face. OK. Turns out we're off to the hospital just across the river, total of about 4 miles away. No biggie.

She: They told you I have vertigo right?

Me: Yup. How does that apply to this ride?

She: I can't go across any bridges.

Me: blink Ummmm There's nothing but bridges between us and the hospital. You can't GET to the hospital without hitting a bridge, somewhere.

She: I know that. sigh I don't understand why I have to go thru this every time I get a cab. I want you to go thru Lake Oswego.

Me: blink. and I turn around and look at her. You wanna go what direction to get there? You must be kidding, right?

She: No. Just get going please.

Me: still staring at her You want me to drive south to LakeO, and ... let me think here ... go all the way down to 99e, and up McLoughlin? That's like ... 45 miles total. It's only 4 miles away from here.

She: I know that. And yes, just do as I tell you. Please. Can we go? I'm in pain here.

Me: I'm sorry, I hate to not take you as quick as possible, but I want to make sure I'm not taking you WAY outta the way. You realize that after LakeO, to get to 99 you have to cross the bridge over the Willamette River, right?

She: Yes, but it's night time and I'll do what I have to to get to the emergency room.

Me: One last try here, can't you just "do what you have to" and cross the Broadway Bridge? It'll save you about $80.00.

She: I KNOW what I'm doing young lady. Just take me the way I tell you to go.

Me: Okee Dokee.

So we head down I-5. I get here there almost an hour later. She doesn't talk the entire time we're in the car except to cry. Making those noises like a baby does (and not in a cute way), sniffling and moaning the whole way. Gawd. What a long ride. We finally get to the hospital then she decides to talk.

She: I need you to go get me a wheelchair.

Me: OK.

So I do. We get to the elevator and I find out the guard is there for decoration only. He doesn't assist people in. I had to push her thru the elevator, into the e.r. An extra $5 bucks as I don't stop the meter until we get there. Jeez. I don't get it. But an even hunnerd for the ride. THAT I got. :o)