3/31/07

"I FUCKING HATE MY FUCKING LIFE!!!"

I got sent to the Sunset Transit Mall 'round about 3:30a last night. I get there, Dude standing there waves me down and gets in the cab.

Dude: Thanks for finally picking me up. I think.

Me: Um. Hi yourself. "You think" ?? Been waiting a while I take it?

Dude: Yeah. Only 2 and a half fucking hours. I can't believe your company is so fucking slow.

Me: Well, it IS Friday night. And the p.d. has 26 shut down in both directions because of a car fire. It wasn't exactly easy to get to you here bypassing the freeway. But here I am, so where we off to?

Dude: I still can't believe it took so fucking long. Shit.

Me: Hey, you are more than welcome to wait for the next cab to come along if you like.

Dude: ...

Me: No? OK then. Where are we off to?

So he tells me. We get started going down Barnes. He says he can give me directions to bypass the freeway. Dude starts crying.

Dude: My life is so fucking over. I might as well just kill myself now.

Me: Well, don't do it in my car. At least wait until we pull over.

Dude: without any prompting from me I got my 3rd DUI about 9 mths ago. My wife almost left me. I've been trying to stay sober. I hate my life. My wife is a nutjob bitch. My parents expect me to finish everything. At least I don't have fucking kids. I got frustrated today and went out drinking again. I fucking HATE my life. I wish someone would just kill me fucking now. I got arrested today. I got the ticket somewhere. I don't even remember what for. I can't find the ticket now. I have to call my atty and have her figure it out. I think it was some sort of probation violation. What am I going to do?

Me: Whoa.

Dude: Yeah. What do I do huh? Really. What do I do?

Me: Well, if you want my opinion, quit drinking.

Dude: Oh yeah, it's so fucking easy for you fucking people. Just "quit drinking". You think I haven't fucking tried that.

Me: Apparently you haven't tried hard enough. Find some other way to take out your 'frustrations' than drinking. If you get a probation violation, don't they just throw your ass in jail?

Dude: Oh yeah. I'm going to jail. My fucking wife is going to leave me. My fucking parents are just going to give me more dirty looks. Everyone at work is going to look at me like I'm a piece of shit. I just need to die right now. Just fucking kill me.

Me: Look. I'm not going to kill you. And if your life is so effin' miserable that you have to cry to a complete stranger about it then walk away and quitcher bitchin'.

Dude: I can't walk away. I FUCKING HATE MY FUCKING LIFE!!! Don't you get it?

Me: Dude, you're yelling. I get it. Calm down for crissakes. Or at the least, quiet down. Which way do I go from here?

Dude gives me directions for the next 4 or 5 minutes and all is ... calm.

Dude: Turn right at the next light.

Me: Right into the mall or right at the light after that.

Dude: Just do what you fucking need to all right?

Me: All right. I pull over right there. On the side of the road, nowhere near a light. I guess this is about as far as you go.

Dude: That's just fucking fine. I don't fucking care anymore. I am going to go kill myself. Right now. He gets out his money, and actually tips me.

Me: Hey, if you're going to go kill yourself, you might as well just give me the rest of your money. It's not like you're going to need it. grin

He just slammed the door in my face. Go figure.

11 comments:

Donna said...

You crack me up. I only wish you updated more often. Anyhow, thanks for the laugh.

Dave2 said...

Frightening. I wonder what his reaction would have been had you pulled out a gun and pointed it at his head... would he have found a new respect for life? Begged you not to do it?

Mel said...

Dave2 - I'd put my money on yes.
I also imagine that the whiny bastard wouldn't actually kill himself because it would be too much like work:
"My parents expect me to finish everything."
This is bad because why again now?

Hilly said...

Geez. Let's blame everyone else for our problems then pretend we'd take the easy way out when realistically, we won't.

Heidi said...

LMAO, what a crybaby! I hate men that cry for no fucking reason. He got himself in that situation not you or his wife. What a loser.

Forman said...

oh my, is he bi-polar?

Karl said...

Wow, freaky.

JEANETTE said...

This is too cool!

The Chad said...

you should have started driving batshit crazy and see if he cared. If he started freaking out, then he obviously didn't wanna die too bad.

apositivepessimist said...

baharha.

wonder how many cabs he took to get home.

wouldn't you like to be going in for a quiet drink at a bar and prop yerself up near this sad bloody sack. erm no thanks.

Rhea said...

You Good Samaritan, you. Attempting to steal a down-and-out guy's last few bucks.