"I'm sorry but your credit card declined"

I got sent to pick up an exTREMEly affluent gentleman last night that lives in Lake Oswego. Some area I hadn't been in before and the homes are - I'm betting - minimum 4 mill. I tried not to gawk toooo much as I got the call about 10 minutes before dude was to be picked up, and I was about 20 mins away. (That's a system setting: it will send out the call 20 mins. early and if no one chooses to take the call then it just sits there waiting for one of us to grab it. It's called "bidding" on an order.)

Anyway, I get out there and finally figure out which driveway is his as the homes on the lane he lives on apparently aren't gauche enough to put their addresses prominently available, at least not from the car. Dude's driveway is so long that I can't even see his home thru the trees but the reason I know it's their home is because as I'm driving up he and his woman are coming out of the driveway in their brand new Lexus convert. He jumps out and grabs his luggage outta the trunk and throws it into my trunk. He's a bit upset. Bitching about how late I am and whatnot, I figure he doesn't want excuses and I don't really wish to explain anything to this guy so I just apologize and we are on our way.

We have 25 mins to get there which, at the speed limits, this drive would probably take 30-35 mins anyway so I have him give me directions outta his windy-ass-road-neighborhood and we get onto 43. I'm zippin' along doing 40 in 15's, 70 in 45's and about 85-90 on the freeway, hoping the whole way I don't get pulled over or run up on a police officer. Basically, doing all those things that people hope their cab driver will do if they're running late, but bitch about if they aren't the one IN the cab running late. It's a fairly slow Sunday night on the roads so no one else it really at risk other than me and my fare. heh.

We get to the 'port and he asks how much the ride was.

Me: Free ride. I feel bad about us being so late. I hope you have a nice flight.

He: Now that isn't right. How much?

Me: Ya know what? I forgot to run the meter, so really, it's a free ride. (fyi: this would have been about $45)

He: I can't let you do that. Here's my card, charge me $30 while I run in and make sure my flight is still here.

He hands me his platinum Visa and heads off into the 'port. Comes back, apparently flight was delayed just a few minutes so we're good. He goes to the trunk to get his bags, I go back there and

Me: We're good?? he nods Good. I'm sorry, but your credit card declined.

He: What? Shit. Here, try this one. he hands me his pretty new Amex card.

I run the card, but being the airport lots of times there can be problems running cards, getting phone calls in/out, radio reception, etc so it takes a bit for the card to clear. As he is clearly impatient to get going I just let him sign his card and go.

*No pleasantries were exchanged at this parting.*

I get a mile or two down the road and the card auth pops up on the screen, this one declined as well. Gawd.

I call dispatch, no one else is having any problems w/their cards clearing, and he didn't seem too surprised that the 1st card didn't go so I figure dude is living a little beyond his means, if ya know what I mean. So I get dude's home phone # from dispatch and call.

I got an answering machine and leave a msg basically saying both of dude's cards had declined, I didn't expect him to pay for the ride anyway so I was just calling to let them know as he might wanna check into his cards before something embarrassing happens in San Antonio.

I called the 'port paging to try and track dude down real quick before he boards the plane. I give her my name and number and leave a msg saying I have his credit card (I didn't want to leave anything potentially embarrassing and she said she couldn't just hold me on the line and connect us, if he got the msg, and besides, he knows I don't have his card) Wasn't really willing to put much more effort into just being nice so I went about my business.

Well, he did actually call. 'Port paging called me and said she had him on the phone and was going to connect (I can only imagine how that conversation went :o)

Me: Hi, I just wanted to let you know that your 2nd card didn't go thru as well and

He: Fine. What is your name and way to reach you I'll get you when I get back. And do you have my card?

Me: No, really, I don't expect you to pay me, we talked about that. I just called because I thought you would want to know before you tried to use that card while on your trip. And no, I don't have your card.

He: Fine. Thank you. Whatever. Do you have my card??

Me: ... um. No. I don't. You put it back in your wallet.

He: Great. Great fucking night I'm having. My fucking cab is late then I get to the goddamned airport and can't find my fucking i.d. now I can't get on the fucking plane anyway because I don't have enough time to have my wife bring my fucking i.d. to the fucking airport because you were fucking late and now I have to take a fucking later fucking flight. SHIT!!

Me: Well, can I just say that after that outburst I was pretty damned amused. :o) I could run out to your house and get your i.d. from your wife and bring it back to you. No charge, again.

He: FUCK no. click. he hung up on me.


Anonymous said...

Good Lord....I guess it doesn't pay to be nice to some people!

Dave2 said...

Ummm... yeah... it's a really good thing that I'm not a cab driver, because my reaction here would be very, very different...

Iron Fist said...

Astonishing. You've gotta love people like that, you really do. Or else punch them in the neck.

Andrew said...

You can't make up stuff this good...just hysterical!

Sizzle said...

you know what this story illustrates to me? that assholes always get what is coming to them. :)

Anonymous said...

what comes around goes around, it's karma.
keep up the good work ;-)
...... Jimmy