"You're just being difficult."

Saturday night was one of those nights when you seriously rethink your choice of careers. Just one shitty fare after another. Eesh. After a certain point (read: $400.00) you have to just laugh. It takes some serious amounts of continuous annoyance to get under my skin, and this first one hit my last nerve that night.

I get sent to some shithole of a cheap motel at Columbia and MLK in N Ptld, industrial area with cheap motels for truck drivers, parking for said drivers, a strip joint and 2 24 hr. drive thru's - McD's and Jack in the Crack. NOT the best of areas.

I get to this motel to pick up this young black man and his woman, both probably about 20 ish, maybe less, at 3:30a.

They get in and the smell of pot wafts into the cab. More power to 'em. 1st thing: he starts bitching about the time it took to get a cab. I apologize but tell him there isn't a whole lot that can be done about it at this time of a Sunday morning. We're busy. Deal.

Me: Where we off to?

He: Downtown. About 5th and Oak, and we'll need a ride back. This is where all the dealers hang out downtown where you can get anything you want, at any time. You TequilaCon-ners might wanna take note. :o)

I go to pull outta the driveway (there is only 1 way into/out of this gem) and I have to go north as there's a concrete berm down the middle of the road. I happen to know that the berm ends about 100 yds up.

He: Hey, if you take an immediate right you can drive thru the truck stop parking lot instead of going all the way down to the next exit.

Me: All right.

I pull into the driveway and am immediately hit with these monster pot holes in the dirt road.

Me: Oh man, I don't know about this.

He: What? Just keep going. Cabs do it all the time.

I drive about 50 feet in and there are now pot holes bigger than my car. In a dirt parking lot. Filled with water. No way.

Me: Nope. No way I'm driving thru this shit. I don't know whats at the bottom of those holes. Or how deep those holes are. Sorry.

He: What? You're the first cab driver to say that. Just drive thru the shit. It's gonna cost me more if you go the other way.

Me: Look, I'm more than willing to make an illegal u-turn 100 yds up where the concrete ends, but I'm not driving thru that shit. No way.

He: Well shit. You're just being difficult. Just do what I tell you. That's your JOB isn't it?

Me: No, my JOB is to get you to where you need to go, expediently and safely.

He: Well, you're going to turn off the meter right?

Me: And why would I do that? You tried to send me down a road that isn't a road.

He: Well, you have to admit you fucked up, right?

Me: No, I didn't fuck up. You did by trying to send me thru those potholes.

I pull around the concrete and we start heading south on MLK.

He: Shit. I don't know why you have to be so fucking difficult. That's all you are. Difficult.

Me: No. If I was being difficult I would take you back to the hotel and let you wait another hr and a half for the next available cab so you can go downtown and do your drug deal. Now. You going to be quiet so I can take you downtown or you going to keep insulting me?

He: I might have to make a fucking complaint about your dumb ass.

Me: I guess that's a "no" to wanting a ride downtown. Hold on second here ... I make another illegal u-turn and pull back into the hotel ... Here you are, back safe and sound.

He: I am definately going to make a complaint about you, bitch.

Me: Wait a minute, let me write down my name and cab number so you can at least get it right. Now, would you like me to call you another cab or can you do that yourself?

He: I think I can handle that myself.

Me: Good. Sorry I couldn't help you. And by the way, before you slam my other door like your gf just did, you might wanna rethink as I'm sure you would hate for me to have to call the cops up here to have a chat with you about "assaulting" the cab. K? I mean, the way you smell it could be a problem.

He: Bitch.

But he didn't slam the door.

Right after that I got another young black lady in my car that needed to get home.

She: I'm gonna take you on the short cut as I need to get home.

Me: Sure. Lead the way.

We're tooling along and she tells me to turn here, turn here, etc.

She: Take a left here.

Me: It's a dead end.

She: I know, just drive thru here, it's all right.

Me: I drive in about 15 ft then Wait a sec. Is this someone's back yard??

She: Yeah, but dude works nights so he won't say anything.

Me: I'm NOT driving thru someone's back yard, home or not. Sorry. How else can we get there?

She: Well, you're going to have to take me around the block. But I only have enough money if you take me the short cut. I didn't knowed you'd be so prissy you wouldn't take the short cut everyone else does. I thought you were supposed to be a cab driver.

I got her home, and was glad to get her outta there.

Then I picked up these two older black women from the bingo hall. (it's open all night fer crissakes) These women are ha-uuuuge. Not that I have any room to talk, but dayuuuum, they stunk. As in someone couldn't walk their fat ass to the toilet in time. eeesh. Had to disinfect the car after they got out. They decided to go thru the McD's drive thru, then started bitching at the kid in the window because it was taking too long to get their hash browns cooked. They gave this kid a serious amount of grief.

Kid: I'm sorry, but we can't just leave them laying around then they wouldn't be fresh. I tell you what tho, I'll give you a refill on your orange juice while you're sitting here waiting if you'd like to start drinking it now.

FB2: Then just give us another one.

Kid: I'm sorry, what?

FB2: If you're going to give her a refill then just give me one too. For free. No one has to know.

Kid: I'm sorry, but I can't. My manager is here.

FB2: Is that the chinese kid? I don't like him anyway. He don't give NOthing for free.

Gawd. Seemed the whole night went like this. I just went home and took a shower, wash all that anger off me.


Donna said...

Unbelievable. Nobody could make this stuff up. It's GOTTA be true.

Serra said...

I wish I had your patience--if it were me I'd be begging for an ejection seat for the back, for times like these.

apositivepessimist said...

I love reading you.

I sit here either barking out laughs or just nodding my head, yep, that’s how they are alright.