Valentines' run-down

So it was VD. It was slow, but steady last night. I didn't go out until about 10p last night because I wanted to miss all the cuddly crap that has to happen on this night.

I picked up several groups (and a few singles) of young women that were bitter about the fact that it was VD and they were single. Some decided to group up and go out and try to make it look like they didn't care they weren't w/a man. One young woman even told me that she was fine w/it, when she went out with her friends but then got upset by watching everyone holding hands and whatnot. Nothing particular stuck out.

Then I picked up this young group of fellas, all 3 were round about 24 or so, seemed like the bookish sort, shaggy hair, facial hair that hasn't really grown in yet, jeans and birkenstocks. NOT the most attractive group a fellas I've had in my car in awhile. But they were pretty excited.

Me: Hey guys. How's your night going?

F1: GREAT! It's like Christmas out here!!

Me: You got a new, red wagon?!!

F1: Naw. We're getting numbers from women at every bar we go to!! MAN, it's great!!

Me: eyeballing the fellas ... SO, whatcha think is the draw?

F1: It's 'cuz it's VD and the only women out tonight are drunk and desperate because they ain't got no man!!

Me: Hunh. And why do you suppose they're giving you guys phone numbers?

F1: 'Cuz we're tellin' 'em what they wanna hear.

Me: Ah. And that's working for you?

F1: Oh yeah!! I got 3 numbers already. He got 2 and he got 5!!! Lucky fuck.

Me: Annnnnd, you guys think these are real numbers these girls are giving you?

F1: Hell yeah they are!

Me: Well then, I guess congratulations are in order. Which one of you is still the virgin?

F1: HA!!! Festus she's got you PEGGED man!!

Me: So, ya want me to pop your bubble now or later??

F1: Um, whatcha mean?

Me: You know that if you don't go home with one of these women tonight then you aren't going to get them, like, ever. Right?

F1: No way.

Me: Trust me. They're only going to be desperate tonight. Not tomorrow. You blew your chance.

They chat for a minute and decide they're going back to the bar where I picked them up at. I get them there and tell them I'd wait. It's 2a and there's no way the girls are still going to be there. They come back out about a minute later. The girls are all gone.

Me: No luck huh?

F1: We'll call them tomorrow. They'll answer. They wouldn't give me their numbers if they didn't want to spend time with me right? I mean, I told them all I wasn't going to take advantage of them while they'd been drinking, and they all seemed sincere in their appreciation. Women don't do that do they?

I just didn't have the heart to kill his high after that. Especially not with him and his friends all looking at me with those puppy dog eyes.

Me: Naw. I'm just messing with you. I'm sure they're all waiting by the phone hoping you'll call tonight and not wait until tomorrow.

I tried real hard not to laugh at them after I dropped them off.

And the only other somewhat memorable ride was dude I picked up at 10:45p.

He: I got 15 minutes to get to Fred Meyers and get some flowers! Can you make it?!

Me: In the dawg house are ya? Forgot it was VD?

He: Yeah. And oh MAN will I be in trouble if I don't get some flowers to take home. I didn't remember until after I got off the bus so I called a cab right away! Thanks for showing up so quick!!

Me: Mmm hmm. I was just around the corner. I'll get you there.

We make it there with about 3 minutes to spare. He throws a $20 at me and runs in the store. He makes it back in less than 10 with flowers and candy. I run him back to the bus stop where I picked him up and he tells me to keep the $20 (fare was about 14), hands me another 20 and hands me one of his 2 boxes of candy.

Me: What's this for?

He: I just want to say thank you for taking care of me. I really appreciate it.

I thanked him and he went on his way.

I handed some of the chocolates out to a couple of the bitter women, but they got angry when I told them the story and found out it was just some random fella that got them for me, not my man. Sheesh. :o)


Dave2 said...

I think this is something that every guy has to learn for himself.*

* Unless they are extremely wealthy or extremely good-looking... those bastards always get the numbers.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a pretty chill night, relaxed compared to everything else you post. Hope you had a happy, relaxed V-day~

Heidi said...

LOL Don't think I could have bursted their bubbles either, let them be happy for that one night, LOL. :o)