Driving by a martini bar in town and get very angrily flagged by a man in a really nice suit, dragging a be-U-tiful woman by the wrist as I pull up.
He: Take me to goddamned Retriever Towing. And do it with a quickness. Damn it. Tow MY fuckin' car. Sons a bitches. Who the FUCK do they think they are? Towing my car. I'll show THEM. I'm a mother fucking aTORNEY for fuck's sake! They think they won't have a fucking lawsuit on their hands?! HA!
Me: Um, Hi. If you're done, could you tell me which Retriever lot you need to go to?
He: Whichever one is closer, damn it. I'm sorry. I'm just pissed off. Fuckers.
Me: I can hear that. Do you have an address?
He: No. Jesus. Don't you know where the fucking lot is? I'm betting that a lot of fuckers get their cars towed by them. Don't you ever take any other losers to that fucking place?
Me: All the OTHER losers have an address. If you'd like to calm down, and tell me what type of car you have I'll call them and ask which lot it's at, K?
He: Shit. All right. It's a ... wait ... the fucking meter isn't running is it? It better not be.
Me: You need to relax. You're sitting right here, does it look like the meter has been turned on? I'm trying to help you out here and you're being a complete ass. I think you might be better off waiting on the next cab that comes by.
He: Shit. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. Really. OK, it's an XKE, hunter green. I just had the front end fixed on it. They had better NOT fuck it up. I swear it got fucked up last time it got towed downtown. You'd think they'd know that all REAL Jags are only driven by people with money and wouldn't tow them, no matter where they park their cars.
Me: turned around to look him in the face I can't believe you just said that. You really are an ass. Just be quiet and I'll try and find your car.
As we were driving over there dude was bitching to his woman about towing companies and service people in general. Prick.
He: after we get there You wait here. I want to make sure they're going to give me my car. I'll pay you for it.
Me: Of course I'll wait for you, it's what we service people do, wait on those with money.
He just looked at me and walked off, dragging his woman behind. He got in the fence and started yelling as soon as he hit the door to the office. I just sat there shaking my head.
Pretty soon one of the drivers walks into the office and a young-ish woman comes walking out looking like she's on the verge of tears. Apparently she was who he was yelling at. Poor girl. She was really upset.
I started chatting her up to distract her and pretty soon I had her laughing telling her cab stories and we finally starting talking about dude.
Me: So .... he's kind of an ass, eh?
She: He's a bastard. Thinks the world owes him. He gets his car towed for parking in a clearly marked spot and yells at me because he's too stupid to read.
Me: Yeah, had a bit to drink tonight too.
She: Yeah? Did you get him from the bar his car was towed from?
She: Hm. Here comes Denny.
Tow truck driver comes walking out to us.
Denny: Hey. That asshole asked me to pay you for him so he can calm down his woman, she's in there crying. What a dick that guy is. You all right? he hands me some money
She: Yeah. By the way, Cabbie says she picked him up from in front of the bar where he got towed.
D: Oh yeah? Good. Make the call girl! he goes back inside
She: Right away! This bastard is going to be in trouble. I'm going to call the police and let them know that we have a possible drinking driver leaving from here and what type of car he has. You watch.
I get out of my car and pop the hood to make it look like I'm checking something as dude and his pretty drive off in his Jag. He made it 1/2 a block and got pulled over by the police. I stood there and watched him get sobriety tested, put in the back of the police car, and have his car towed, again.