"Can you take me to Bend?"

I forgot all about this one.

Just over a year ago I spent a huge amount of time with one person, Frank. Pretty much every day and most nights. I drove him around, from one bar to the next, and then home so he could pass out for a bit, then back to the bars again. This is ALL he did, all day, every day.

He was about 55 or so, a mortgage broker that had just retired after getting out of jail for extortion. I met him right before he got off parole when he was living in a 1/2 way house and working days downtown. The day he got off parole he quit his job and started drinking.

I spent so much time with him that he decided I should just drive him around in his own car, a brand new Cadillac STS. It was a pretty sweet ride and I didn't mind so much when he got so drunk he could barely go home because I would just take him home, then drive myself home in his car and wait for him to call me in the next day. This went on for about 2 months give/take. I kid you not, this man did nothing but drink, day and night the entire time. It really was pathetic. But damned amusing, at least he was a funny drunk.

One morning he called me up and wanted to know how much it would take to get him to Bend. (about 1.5 hrs away near Mt. Bachelor).

Frank: Can you take me to Bend? How much would it cost me?

Me: Oh, say about $200. give or take.

Frank: OK, come get me. But I want you to drop off me and my car, I'm going to be staying for the weekend.

Me: Ah. No problem, I'll just have J follow in my truck and he can bring me back. S'allright?

Frank: Sure. Come on over.

We get over there about 30 mins later (Frank was in Tualatin, about 1/2 hr from where I live) and Frank comes out to meet us.

Frank: Ya know what? I think my gf might get mad that I'm gone for the weekend so I'm wondering if you could take me down there in my other car and then have J drive the Cadi. I don't want her to do anything to my car.

Me: Um, maybe. You want us to leave both cars down there? If I have to ride the bus back it's gonna cost you a WHOLE lot more. I don't do public transit. heh.

Frank: thinking for a minute Well, I tell ya, just keep the Cadi for the weekend until I get back then I'll have you come get me on Monday morning.

Me: Okee Dokee. Where's the other car?

He opens the garage door and there she is ... an '05 supercharged Jag. Black, lowered, SwEEEt rims.

Me: Oh, I am SO driving this one!!

So we're off to Bend. Me driving, Frank drinking. J following. About 1/2 way up one of the mountains Frank tells me that I have to open her up, just once, see what she does on the curves on an incline. Whew. Nice car.

Anyway, Frank got us a hotel room that night, we went back to Ptld the next morning w/his Cadillac. Well, Frank ended up staying in Bend a tad bit longer than expected. About 2.5 months longer. We kept his Cadi the entire time. He'd call about once a week to make sure his car was all right. That baby got great gas mileage too. We took it all OVER the NW. He didn't mind.

He finally sent a friend (another drunk) to come get his car one day. He called us a couple of hours later, apparently his friend decided to stop for a couple of drinks before driving back to Bend and wrecked the car in the mtns.


Dave2 said...

Would have been better off if you would have just kept it!

Donna said...

you make my life sound so boring.

Heidi said...

How nice to get to drive a cadi around for several months, too bad his friend wrecked it. Do you still drive him around or was that the end of it?

Anonymous said...

your freaking kidding me!!! >.< ow.... that one hurt.... oh well, better his drunk friend smash it up then you~ hope he was ok....^_^

Michelle said...

Hey Heidi - Naw, he ended up staying in Bend. Interestingly enough last I heard his gf's house that he said he bought her for cash ended up getting "taken" by the gov't. :o)