"Can you take me to Bend?"

I forgot all about this one.

Just over a year ago I spent a huge amount of time with one person, Frank. Pretty much every day and most nights. I drove him around, from one bar to the next, and then home so he could pass out for a bit, then back to the bars again. This is ALL he did, all day, every day.

He was about 55 or so, a mortgage broker that had just retired after getting out of jail for extortion. I met him right before he got off parole when he was living in a 1/2 way house and working days downtown. The day he got off parole he quit his job and started drinking.

I spent so much time with him that he decided I should just drive him around in his own car, a brand new Cadillac STS. It was a pretty sweet ride and I didn't mind so much when he got so drunk he could barely go home because I would just take him home, then drive myself home in his car and wait for him to call me in the next day. This went on for about 2 months give/take. I kid you not, this man did nothing but drink, day and night the entire time. It really was pathetic. But damned amusing, at least he was a funny drunk.

One morning he called me up and wanted to know how much it would take to get him to Bend. (about 1.5 hrs away near Mt. Bachelor).

Frank: Can you take me to Bend? How much would it cost me?

Me: Oh, say about $200. give or take.

Frank: OK, come get me. But I want you to drop off me and my car, I'm going to be staying for the weekend.

Me: Ah. No problem, I'll just have J follow in my truck and he can bring me back. S'allright?

Frank: Sure. Come on over.

We get over there about 30 mins later (Frank was in Tualatin, about 1/2 hr from where I live) and Frank comes out to meet us.

Frank: Ya know what? I think my gf might get mad that I'm gone for the weekend so I'm wondering if you could take me down there in my other car and then have J drive the Cadi. I don't want her to do anything to my car.

Me: Um, maybe. You want us to leave both cars down there? If I have to ride the bus back it's gonna cost you a WHOLE lot more. I don't do public transit. heh.

Frank: thinking for a minute Well, I tell ya, just keep the Cadi for the weekend until I get back then I'll have you come get me on Monday morning.

Me: Okee Dokee. Where's the other car?

He opens the garage door and there she is ... an '05 supercharged Jag. Black, lowered, SwEEEt rims.

Me: Oh, I am SO driving this one!!

So we're off to Bend. Me driving, Frank drinking. J following. About 1/2 way up one of the mountains Frank tells me that I have to open her up, just once, see what she does on the curves on an incline. Whew. Nice car.

Anyway, Frank got us a hotel room that night, we went back to Ptld the next morning w/his Cadillac. Well, Frank ended up staying in Bend a tad bit longer than expected. About 2.5 months longer. We kept his Cadi the entire time. He'd call about once a week to make sure his car was all right. That baby got great gas mileage too. We took it all OVER the NW. He didn't mind.

He finally sent a friend (another drunk) to come get his car one day. He called us a couple of hours later, apparently his friend decided to stop for a couple of drinks before driving back to Bend and wrecked the car in the mtns.