I get sent to inner NE Ptld to pick up a young woman, she comes out of the house with 6 tall, skinny, young black men, all with braided hair, jeans to their knees, whatnot. All pretty nice guys except for one. Of course he is the one that has to sit up front with me. 3 of the guys follow us downtown in their SUV, we're on our way to VooDoo.
Christine and her boyfriend are in the back. I don't generally let people sit up front if there is less than 4 ppl in my cab so I keep stuff in the front seat to deter folks from sitting there, tonight it's a picture I'm drawing on my clipboard (picture to follow). "Sketch" (which, I'm assuming his mother didn't name him) gets in the back, then decided to crawl up to the front after we started to go so he has to move my picture. He plops down in the front seat and looks at the picture, quietly for a minute. (Best minute of the entire ride, sadly.)
Sk: 1st words out of his gold grilled mouth Well, she looks like a typical white bitch, no ass, no tits, but if she sucks dick then she's all good with me.
I just kinda look at him and talk to Christine and her boyfriend, turns out it's her birthday so I tell her h.b. and all that and Sketch has to pipe up. (Apparently he's not getting enough attention)
Sk: So you're going to give us a discount aren'tcha?
Me: Because it's her bd?
Sk: Yup. You know you are.
Me: I might have before that cocksucking comment. But now I'm thinking not.
The 2 in back laughed, he got mad.
Sk: Don't NO bitch talk to me like that.
Me: It was just a joke, like your comment was. Don't take it personally and I won't take you calling me 'bitch' personally because I'm assuming you call all females that.
Sk: I DO. I don't joke.
Me: Then maybe you should wear a shirt that says 'don't talk to me, I have no sense of humor' instead of one that has a day-glo marijuana leaf on it. he's just glaring at me. Would make sense, wouldn't it? Stop a lot of problems before they start.
Sk: You saying I don't have a sense of humor?
Me: No, you did.
Sk: processing for a few ... Pssht. Whatever.
We drive for another minute or so and cross the Morrison Bridge into downtown. We get stopped at the light on Stark and 2nd and Sketch is glaring out his window.
Sk: to guy in next car What the FUCK you staring at Mother FUCKER? then flips the guy off and starts to roll down his window.
I reach up and lock his window so he can't roll it down. That certainly made him angry after he finally figured out what was going on.
Sk: You BLOCKING me bitch?
Sk: What the FUCK!! so now he's just glaring at me. From about 6 inches away, 'cuz getting closer makes it worse. Apparently.
Me: I don't need you starting shit in my cab.
Sk: What? Maybe he started it.
Me: Oh, I doubt that.
Sk: You saying I start shit?
Me: Oh yes, you do. You are with me so why wouldn't you with him? You're an instigator. And proud of it.
Sk: That's right, I AM proud.
Me: I just look over at him and smile. We're almost there. Just calm down and you'll get a ride the last 6 blocks. If not, you are more than welcome to walk from here.
Sk: Shit. You're getting paid to give me a ride. What are you going to do?
Me: But I'm not getting paid to put up with your shit. So in case I wasn't clear enough last time, either shut the fuck up or get the fuck out. Is that in a language you can understand?
He's still glaring at me.
Christine: SKETCH! Let the lady do her job. Damn. Don't give her a hard time.
Me: looking at him glaring at me. I smile. You don't intimidate me doll. I've had a lot bigger than you in my car, and a lot more dangerous. We're here. YOU have a lovely night Sketch.
I tell Christine happy birthday again, she apologizes for Sketch again and we part ways. I look over and he's writing down my cab #. Little shit.
I went around the corner and had to breathe for a minute. That little boy scared the shit outta me, but I couldn't let *him* see that.
Anyway, here's the picture I was drawing (I kid you not, she had these t 'n a when he was looking at the pic. I know *I* see 'em.).
And yes, I know I messed up her hand, I just could not get it right so I gave up and then laminated the dang thing. Had enough.
TUA: GO ROCKIES!!!!!!!!