Once upon a time there was this cab driver ...

I used to work w/this guy at Brand X, he started about the same time I did but worked days for about 1.5 yrs then moved to nights when I met him. He didn't become my drinking buddy until a few months ago when I got rid of my ex and we've been amusing each other, platonically, since then. I agree with him that he has no taste in women and will let anyone go down on him and he agrees I have no taste in men and have a big ass. Hrm. What friends are for I guess. :o)

Anyway, a little while back I was sitting at a hotel cab stand early one a.m. and I see ol' Sparky* walking outta the hotel w/this older, quite unattractive lady hanging all over him. They get in his cab and take off with a quickness. I don't think much of it 'cuz he is a cabbie and I have to admit to having a few older ladies hanging off me as well. Nature of the biz sometimes.

I head to base later that day to pay my lease and run into the guy that drives his car during the day. We get to chatting and he asks me if I'd heard about Sparky.

Me: What happened? He ok??

Day Guy: Oh yeah, he's fine. But didja hear what he did last night?

Me: Nope. I saw him this mornin' though, he looked fine. A little rushed, but fine.

DG: Where?

Me: Coming outta the hotel, had some older lady with him.

DG: OMG. It IS true then. HAAAA!

Me: So, what's the story?

DG: That lady he was with was a lady that I picked up yesterday during the day and hauled her to several different places then handed her off to Sparky so he could take her around. Apparently they hit it off pretty well, she asked him to stay the night with her, in her hotel, on the meter(!). I guess the reason they had to rush off this morning was that they had been so busy that she was late for her plane. They missed it so they ended up back at the hotel, that's where they are now.

Me: Re-hEEEEly. Wow. She's kinda ... unattractive.

DG: I know. She kinda scared me.

So I went in the office and was paying my lease and chatting up the ofc mgr and turns how that her n' Sparky had a brief fling a few years back.

OM: Oh yeah. He and I fucked a few times, he's fun to drink with but just be careful 'cuz he'll fuck anything when he gets drunk. (This woman has a mouth that rivals mine, and I *am* a cab driver)

Me: I gathered. You should see this woman he ended up with last night, she looks just like Cruella DeVille Not all that appealing.

OM: Yeah, but I bet she's lovin' every minute of what's going on up there in the hotel. Sparky whinnies when he walks.

Took me a second on that one but I laughed my ass off for a few ... well, haven't actually stopped yet.

The next week I was back in the ofc paying my lease with a coupla the other fellas chatting and in walks Sparky. I still hadn't met/talked to the guy but as tact is not my strong point I just gotta say something. One of the fellas says something to Sparky about his extracurricular activities at the hotel last Friday.

Me: Oh yeah, I heard about that. Was it worth it?

He just nodded.

Me: I saw you guys walking outta the hotel that morning. You sure do like 'em ... mature, dontcha?

He just looks at me for a moment.

Me: But hell, I'm guessing whatever she paid you was worth it 'cuz rumor has it you have a certain "horse-like" quality that all women enjoy in a man.

He blushed. I giggled. We've been friends since.

I still haven't stopped giving him grief about that old lady. Or any of the other one's I've met since then.

*Name has been changed to protect the guilty.


Sizzle said...

at first i was like "wha?" but then i was like "OHHH!" (eyes getting wide).


Dave2 said...

I often think that I should be on a meter of some kind while entertaining, so it's kind of hard for me to be too judgmental here. :-)

Paradise Driver said...

So John Holmes has been reincarnated, eh?

adena said...

I'm with Sizzle...

Took me a sec, than I was all "Ooooohhhh....."


Bryan said...

Colin Farrell, Brad Pitt, Sebastian Bach?
Now Brad Pitt and his wife Angelina Jolie are what I'd call easy on the eye.
Pitt can act as well, I loved the movie "Meet Joe Black" (1998)

Now Colin Farrell might be a great date or a good guy to have
a beer with, I just don't see him as no Brad Pitt.

Sebastian Bach? you mean Mr Jekyll & Hyde?
yeah the Skid Row guy.. well you know what
Mama said about If ya can't say something nice...
btw did you know "Wikipedia" says
that his real last name is "Bierk", not "Bach"
who knew.

What about Antonio Banderas? My friend
hates Brad Pitt loves Antonio and his cute
wife Melanie Griffith.

Amazing drawing.