So I was tooling along Saturday morning ...

... still in the cab because I started reeeel late Friday (I work 7p-7a, started at 4:30a Sat a.m. :o) and my day driver (7a-7p) doesn't work Sat's so I have the cab 36 hrs Fri-Sat. It was about 9:30a and I was downtown, not doing much of anything other than laughing at the line of people 3 blocks long to get into the Grand Opening of Macy's and thinking about going home.

Dispatch offered me an account call from inner NW, off downtown. I figured "one more then I'll go home" as they're usually short. Up pops the info and turns out I'm picking up this woman from her dr's appt and taking her to Gearhart, OR. On the coast. 89 miles from where she is. Flat fee - $150. Good way to top off my morning. ;o)

I get over there and see a coupla folks milling around the office. Great. Abortion clinic. Protesters. This is not gonna be a good time.

I have to wait for a car to pull out, woman driving and the woman in the psgr seat has her hoodie pulled down over her face as the protesters are harassing her. After they get out of my way they turn to me as I'm pulling into the lot. Soon as I step out they're all over me ...

Pro1: God is going to judge you, you're facilitating murder!

Me: Lady, all I'm 'facilitating' here is a cab ride. Get off me.

I walk to the door of the clinic, which is locked, but a guy comes out wearing an orange vest (like a flagger) w/the words "patient safety escort" on his vest and asks me who it is I'm picking up. I tell him her name.

He: I'll go get her. You can come inside if you're uncomfortable out here waiting.

Me: Aw heck no, this could be a good time. I got this. Thanks though.

He: Be careful. It's a slippery slope.

He smiles at me and walks back in. I walk away from the door and the lady starts in on me again. Same basic stuff about me being judged, etc.

Me: Well, I'm guessing I'll have to deal with that when the time comes right?

She: He's judging you right now! Drive away.

Me: 'He's' judging me or YOU're judging me?

She: I am God's handmaiden and ...

Me: You are NOT. Stop that. He WILL however judge you for lying in HIS name.

She: He WILL judge you.

Me: And you think he isn't going to judge you for doing this with a ... what is she ... 6 year old? standing there?

She: She knows all about this, and thank God she does!

Me: Now see, that seems like a sin to me, you should allow this child to be a child, she is WAY to young to dealing with this kind of crap, or looking at those pictures for that matter.

She: She needs to be prepared.

Me: For WHAT? Oh wait, I know, I just read somewhere that 38% if the men that commit child abuse are religious. (I *totally* made that up. Whaddaya gonna do? Judge me? ;o)

She: How DARE you??

Me: So I take it you wouldn't get an abortion? Or help out a friend or family member that needed one? Or leave the poor cab driver alone that is just trying to do their job, right?

She: I would NEVER. I KNOW better than that.

Me: So, basically you're telling me I'm stupid for giving this woman a ride, yes?

She: If you choose to pick up this woman, right now, instead of driving away, then yes, you are stupid.

Me: Seems to me that's another strike in your book ... pride. Isn't that against His rules as well? You are SO going to hell. You might wanna just leave now and go confess your sins in church 'cuz I tell you what, your soul's in danger. Matter of fact, I can drive you there. On second thought, I think I need to get far away from you because I think you're going to be struck by lightning any moment now. Oh, wait ... your God allows you to choose to be standing here, protesting huh? Just like he allows other people the choice of whether or not they want to have an abortion, right?

She: They are KILLING their children! Doesn't that bother you?

Me: I don't worry about that NEAR as much as I worry about what people will do blindly in the name of their God or religion. Why don't you go protest in the middle east? How many children have been killed there, and all over the world, in the name of God? Maybe YOU can be the difference. Never know til you try.

She: I can see you aren't going to be reached. You're a heathen.

Me: Isn't name calling a sin as well? Wow. You're rackin' 'em up here lady. And what I am, is a cab driver. I'm doing my job.

She: And I'm doing mine.

Me: OoooOOOOoooh. You're getting paid for this are ya?

She: Well, um, not now. But I will in heaven. He has a special place waiting for me.

Me: Mm. I'll bet he does. You just keep waiting on that one. In the mean time, I'm going to do my job and help this lady out. Have a lovely day.

They brought her out in a wheel chair and stuck her in my cab and we were off to the most beautiful day I've seen at the coast in awhile. I drove down the beach for a bit and stopped to walk on the sand while I had the chance. Incredible day out there. I got back around 3p.

OK, maybe not one of my best, but I was annoyed.


Tracy Kaply said...

Dude, I ♥ you. I did before, but I ♥ ♥ now.

Dave2 said...

Abortion protestors... IN OREGON?!? This is strange.

When in these situations, I always toss a poisonous snake at them and offer them a can of Drain-O to drink while quoting Mark 16:18...

Paradise Driver said...

A lady after my own heart. You said all the things I would want to, but with the expletives deleted. I have a problem doing that.

Donna said...

You are never at a loss for an answer, are you? You must have been brought up in a family with a lot of rough-housing brothers!

Catherine said...

She had a six year old child there. Who 'knows all about this stuff'. And has had to look at all those gruesome pictures.

I mean, I would have been tempted to call child services, because that is just very, very wrong. I'm certifiably disturbed.

You did great, very smart, and I hope she had at least enough brains to get shaken up a little.

Meatcake said...

I'd have been tempted to have a can of mace along. "Lady, you're violating my space." "What? How DARE you speAAAAAUUUUGGH!"

Good times.

You, miss, are one sassy lady. I love reading tales of your wit and wisdom. Go get 'em!

The Lily said...

Oh wait, I know, I just read somewhere that 38% of the men that commit child abuse are religious.

You know how it goes, there are lies, damn lies, and statistics. ;P

People like that ruin spirituality for me.

whall said...

However right they think they are, do they honestly think they'll ever convince anyone to their side by acting that way? Give me a peaceful dialogue any day...

Manic Witch said...

You are my hero!

phlegmfatale said...

I love you. Good on you for 'fronting those sanctimonious asshats at the women's clinic - how dare they? ANd those signs they hold up? How VILE that they are exposing children in by-passing vehicles to such harsh images. Reprehensible.

Anonymous said...

If she's in heaven, I'll take hell.