10/2/07

"Hi there. Are you Anne?"

I got sent to Tuality ER in Hillsboro late one night to pick up a young lady going to Milwaukie. That's a good 1/2 hr run driving fast so I was gonna be with her for awhile. I get to the ER and have to go inside to get her. I see a couple of people sitting in the waiting room, mostly coupled up and one youngish lady off to herself watching tv. I walked up to the lady ...

Me: Hi there. Are you Anne?

She: Yes. Hi. she stands up and starts to gather her things My name is actually Anna. Ann-UH. But that's ok. Anne works too because if you were to pronounce my name as I was actually named like my Grandmother it's AWWW-na, not Anna or even Anne. But on the Welsh side of my family it's pronounced Awwwna, because that's what my grandmother was, Welsh. I was named after her because she was my dad's mother and he was always meaner than my mom and her mom - my other grandmother - was named Mabel and my dad didn't want to have a daughter named Mabel so I got Awwwna. Are you my cab driver? I've never seen a woman cab driver before. I've had lots of cab drivers because I get sick a lot and I always have to take a cab home. Well, at least it's a free ride and I'm a long ways from home out here. I was out here for the flea market and I had taken the MAX but when I was ready to go home someone lit up a cigarette, even thought it's against the law to smoke at the MAX stops now but he wouldn't put it out. Even when I asked him, politely, and told him that I have asthma he just kept smoking and smoking and smoking and I kept telling him how bad smoking was for him and for me. You don't smoke do you? Because I know that sometimes cab drivers smoke even though it's illegal for you guys to smoke in your car and ...

The whole time she's rattling this off I'm just standing there, staring. I know my jaw had to have dropped and I was seriously considering running away at that moment. I mean, can you imagine 1/2 an hour with this woman? Well, whatever you can imagine, it was much, MUCH worse.

11 comments:

Missy said...

Hahaha oh my lord. Ask one simple question ... clearly you don't get a simple answer back!

Donna said...

Obviously she loves the sound of her own voice.

Miss Britt said...

So did you smoke?

I would have smoked.

Paradise Driver said...

Did she ever take a breath?

LOL!

"Hey, Lady! All I asked was what the time was. I don't need to know how the damn watch was built."

Sizzle said...

i wonder if that fella at the MAX wanted to put his cigarette out on her?

Anonymous said...

What is worse this reminds me of my Mother in Law and her sister. The two of them could talk until all day without breathing. What is worse is they will start telling a story and then veer off in some random direction never to return to the original point. And my wife wonders why I never talk when we get together.

Dave2 said...

Reason #1056 why I could never be a taxi driver...

Tragerstreit said...

Reminds me of Sniffles, the cartoon mouse. "What are you doing there? What are you doing with that safe? I know what you're doing, you're a burglar and you're burgling that safe 'cause burglars always burgle safes, why do they? Why are you a burglar? It's against the law to be a burglar 'cause burglars are crooks and I'm going straight upstairs and wake up the lady bear and tell her you're a burglar and she'll come right down and beat your old burglar head in..."

...*sigh*

whall said...

and that's when you were all GAH!! LET ME OUTTA HERE!!!"

Daniel said...

maybe you could ask the ER staff to give her an inhaler that had to be cupped over her loudmouth face for 45 minutes? Or you could have challenged her to tie a knot in a catheter with her tongue.

If all else fails, crank the talk radio. I suggest "Jesus Saved My Miserable Ass" or sports - whichever one she's least likely to be interested in. If she's a hockey-loving holy roller, though, it's all about your karma bank....

The Acid Queen said...

Oh man, she's like this guy that I work with, who talks just to hear himself talk--but unlike that girl, he just makes up all these crazy stories out of whole cloth and just keeps on going even after you call bulldada on him.

Holy run-on sentence, Batman!