It's Fleet Week in Portland again.

Portland is covered in sea men!! (You would not believe how many times I've heard some variation on this comment in the last week.)

I gotta give 'em credit; they're much more subdued this year than the last few. I think our sliding economy is helping that along though.

Anyway -

Was driving down W Burnside into town and saw 2 cute, younger fellas sitting on some boxes at the curb at about 20th. They look weary. Apparently too tired to get up and flag a cab as one of them just waved a coupla fingers as I was driving by. I pulled up and rolled down the window.

Me: Hi boys. Need a ride?

Boy1: YES!! they get in the cab We've been flagging every cab driving by but they've all got people in there or they're just ignoring us.

Me: Yeah, we are kinda busy w/all the sailor boys in town. Where we off to and can I ask ... is that BEER you guys were sitting on?

Boy1: Yeah, we bought 2 racks for a party but when we got there we found out it was the wrong address the girl gave us.

Me: Ouch.

Boy1: Yeah, we started walking and then got tired of lugging this shit around so we decided to grab a cab.

Boy2: Good thing you stopped when you did, I'm down about 4 beers in this box.

Me: Sitting there a long while were you?

Boy1: You have no fucking clue. Dude. I'm so tired of walking. And sitting. And waiting on cabs.

Me: And lying girls.

Boy2: Don't even get us started on that shit.

Me: Sounds like you started that one all on yer own. Anyways, where we off to?

Boy1: My house cool with you? Nod from his friend. He looked at me, I nodded as well. ::shrug:: We're going to 1st and Arthur. Know it?

Me: By the 7-11?

Boy1: Yup. Down past there to Macadam. You cool with us drinking our beers?

Me: Just don't make a mess. Or throw them at anyone.

We start off, laughing about silly things when we get near the 7-11 Boy1 asks me to stop there so they can get munchies. I pull in, Boy2 gets out to get nachos, chips, etc and then Boy1 says they might need more beer so get another 1/2 rack.

As Boy1 and I are sitting there shooting the sh*t this really hot girl comes stumbling up the driveway carrying her shoes and looking a little worn down.

Me: Lookit that poor girl. Must've been a long walk, eh?

He looks and just about slid off his seat. She came walking towards us.

Me: If she wants a ride are you going to let her in? (this happens quite often in my cab.) He just sits there dumbly and stares at her. I reach back and pop him upside the head. HEY! Yes or no? Not much time here. You want me to get her for you or not?

He: You can do that? Hell yeah!!

She: Hi. Are you available?

Me: Well, I've got these 2 nice young boys in my car now, but I'm sure they'd be willing to let you ride along.

She: Eyeballs boy with tongue hanging out of his mouth for a moment. to me: I don't know.

Me: You look like you've been walking awhile. Got a ways to go?

She: I am SO tired! My friends left me and I've been walking all this way from 2nd and Burnside. I'm heading down towards the water tower. John's Landing ... conveniently on Macadam.

Me: How convenient, these guys are heading the same way. I'm sure they'll let you ride along. Hunh Junior?

Boy1: Uh. Oh. Hell yeah. Anywhere you need to go.

She: I dunnnnnooooo ...

Me: Look, you'll be safe in my cab and odds are good I could take both these guys so hop in, it's not that far.

She: All right.

She hops in the front, silly boy in the back still hasn't gotten his tongue back into his mouth and Boy2 comes out of the store, he just about drops his beer and munchies when he sees her. He gets in the car and I explain to him his friend agreed to give her a ride home. Boy2 to this point has been really quiet, not so much so after she got in the car. He turned up the charm and I just let him do his thang.

By the time I got the boys to where they were going (they were getting dropped off first then her) she was talked into going into their place and drinking some beers with 'em. I checked to make sure she was serious and then gave her my number for when she needed to go. Her and Boy2 get out and head to the apt, Boy1 pays me and then tries to tip me with the 1/2 rack.

Me: Wow. Thanks, but I don't drink.

Boy1: Well shit, hold on ... he digs around in his pockets this is all I have but I tell ya, you were worth every penny for that ride, that chick is HOT!! he hands me a $20 and a coupla singles.

Me: Ah, I get pimp fees. Nice. Call me when she's ready to go.

Boy1: Shit. I'm going to get your number from her and call you every time I need a ride. And a hot chick too! Damn.

Me: ::snort:: Good night.


whall said...

At least they were grateful greenies instead of awful a**wipes.

adena said...

Ha! So, did she call you later for a ride?

Dave2 said...

A cab with benefits! If only all public transportation was so accommodating!

TrixieTaxi said...

Wayne: Thankfully.

Adena: Nope. Never heard from her again. Must've been gooood beer.

Dave2: Apparently you are riding the wrong public transit, I've seen some of the people that ride the bus here and for the price of bus fare you could get just about anything you ask for. :o)

Tracy Lynn said...

Dude, none of the cabbies around here are THAT GOOD.