Them: Multnomah County Non Emergency, how may I help you?
Me: Hi, I just saw a dude howling at the moon.
Them: Um, excuse me ... ?
Me: I just saw some dude howling at the moon.
Them: Uh ... ok. And you're calling me because ... ?
Me: He's standing in the road while he's doing it.
Them: Ah. Ok. Where is he?
Me: Right at about 127th and Stark.
Them: Ok. And what exactly is he doing?
Me: Jumping up and down, waving his arms at the sky and howling.
Me: Oh yeah. Too bad we can't see the moon tonight, huh?
Them: Well, if there is no moon tonight then how do you know that's what he's doing?
Me: Well, I don't know, per se, but I saw the Powerball numbers earlier so I know he didn't win, what else would he be doing?
Them: Well, if he isn't really causing any problems then we might be able to send an officer by later when one frees up.
Me: Thank you. I'm sure the people that are having to dodge him in their cars while he's jumping in the street will be incredibly grateful.
Them: ... I'm sorry, where exactly did you say he was?
Other Stuff: I just went to Walgreens to pick up something after work. I hand the girl at the counter my stuff:
She: And would you like to try an Oreo Cakester this morning? and points to the display next to the register.
Me: Um ... no. But thanks for asking.
She just smiled at me. I look at the display and see the sign underneath the box of Cakesters "If we don't ask you if you'd like a Cakester you get it for free!!"
Me: Hm. So what? Now you guys are just like Taco Bell ... "If we don't ask if you'd like a drink it's free!" type o' thing?
She: I suppose so.
Me: Gotta make you appreciate your job just that much more.
She: And I get $.05 for everyone I sell.
I just smiled and left. Driving off in my truck I got to thinking how incredibly annoyed I was by this. Why can't they have something out there for charity ... "If we don't ask you if you'd like to donate we'll donate a dollar ourselves!!" instead of something fattening.
Use your powers for good, damn it.