"Your car sure smells nice, do you own it?"

I get sent to 42nd NE Alberta area to pick up 2 folks sitting near a bar, they're supposedly at the corner of. I get there and get flagged by this black couple on the corner, jumping up 'n down to get my attention.

Me: Hi there. Ya'll must be who I'm supposed to be picking up.

He: Man, are we glad to see you. We've been waiting awhile for a cab.

Me: as she comes walking up to the car I'm really sorry about that. We're busier than all get out tonight, something to do with all the sailors in town.

She: What the FUCK took you so long?

Me: blink As I was saying, we're really busy tonight.

She: Well damn woman, I can't believe it took you so fucking long to get here. We called for you over 15 MINUTES AGO!!!

Me: Well, hell. That's not all that long to wait tonight. If you'd like, I could certainly call the cab company and order you another cab because you're being rude and I refused to take you anywhere. Is THAT what you would like?

She: after staring at me for a moment Shit no. Just take me home. But first take me over to that Cadillac over there.

Me: The one with the flashers?

She: Isn't that what I said? Do you SEE any other Cadillacs around here?

Me: Actually, yes. There are 3 sitting at that bar right there. I'd be more than willing to let you go over there and check them out, to make sure they are actually Cadillacs. I could call you another cab to pick you up when you've calmed down a little bit.

She: Sheeeeit girl. You're a spicy one aren't ya? cackle Don't take no shit from anyone. cackle I like that. You're all right. cackle Yeah, stop by that Cadillac, the one with the flashers on, I need to get something from my car.

We pull up there, she tells her man to go get something out of the car and she waits in the cab. As he gets back in I ask what happened to the car.

She: Aw hell, I put my Alize (I think that's how it's spelled) up on the dash when I dropped my cell phone and it spilled. Something sparked in the dash and the car just died. Goddamned brand new car too.

Me: Ah, the joys of drinking and driving.

She has nothing to say to that. Starts giving me directions. I hear her whispering (loudly) to the fella:

She: I can't believe I hafta wait until the beginning of next month to get my check to get that car fixed. Can't you sell some more shit to get my car fixed?

I snorted. Then coughed, 'cuz you know, I wouldn't want her to think I was laughing at her plight.

She: Your car sure smells nice, do you own it?

Me: Yup. Thank you.

She: It's kind of a piece of shit though.

Me: looked her in the eyeball in the rearview At least it isn't sitting on the side of the road, broken down.

She: Shit girl, you're funny. cackle

Rest of the ride was just as pleasant.


Coldfoot said...

"Your cab sure smells nice."

"What? Oh that smell. Well you see... I farted. Compared to your breath I'm surprised you even noticed it."

But that is just what I would say to a rude customer.

Donna said...

I don't think I want to mouth off to you. You seem to be pretty fast with a comeback!

Sizzle said...

some people can appreciate being sassed back. i like your style!

whall said...

Why are you such a racist?

(haha, that's my idea of a joke. Been lurking for a while and absolutely love your blog and how you treat folk. Especially what you did for those twins.)

Tragerstreit said...

Only a 15 minute wait for a cab? Holy crap, what the hell was she complaining about?