I had just finished dropping someone at the 'port when I get sent to the Sheraton right near there to pick up a cute young fella.
Me: Hi there. How ya doin'?
He: I'm late. Can you take me to the ships?
Me: You want me to just pick a ship or would you like to specify. I didn't mean to be a smart ass.
He: How about you just pick the ones on the river, all right? He did.
Me: Well doll I tell ya, Portland has a coupla big ass rivers reeeeal close to it. Are you a sailor on one of the Navy ships downtown?
He: Well shit. Isn't it obvious? DAMN.
Me: The only thing that's obvious is that you're from the Sheraton and in a bad mood. How exactly would it be obvious to me that you're on one of those ships?
He: Well FUCK WOMAN! Look at my goddamn whites!! Are you fucking BLIND?
Me: Darlin ... you aren't wearing any whites.
He: looks down at himself. Ah hell. You're right. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just frustrated I slept so long. I have to be on the ship in 20 for muster, my gf is my boss and she is gonna beat me senseless if I'm not there. Could you please, please get me downtown as quick as possible? I still gotta borrow someone else's whites 'cuz there's no way I can go back to my bunk this late. She'll find out.
Me: Ah. Hazards of sleeping with the boss I suppose.