"Are there any adult shops near here?"

I got sent to the Embassy Stes. Hotel near the airport to pick up a couple on a very slow Tuesday evening (this was back when the snow storms were hitting the midwest really hard, their flight was cancelled). A very young couple. As in barely legal young. But kind of fun kids.

They wanna go to the closest adult shop to the 'port. I end up taking them to 'Frolics' - a cheesey little place on NE Sandy, pretty close, that has nekkid girls and an adult book/toy store attached. They asked me to wait on them as they wouldn't be long.

I only sat for about 5 minutes when they came back out w/a bag of goodies and big smiles on their faces. Turns out that they were travelling w/his parents as chaperones as both sets of parents didn't think they should be alone together while travelling. When their flight was cancelled the airline put the entire plane load of folks up in the nearest hotels (there were many flights cnx'd that night, all the hotels were booked).

The mom got the room w/the girl, and dad got the boy. They were text msging each other until both the folks had fallen asleep and they snuck out to meet in the lobby and had the hotel call them a cab. They had to hurry as they were concerned whether or not the folks would wake and find them gone. They were awful cute though.

He: I hope they don't wake up. I will be in SO much trouble. Did you SEE those girls?! They were NAKED.

She: I can't believe that girl smiled at me. I wonder if she thought I was cute. Maybe she was a whispering lesbian! I've never seen one of those.

Me: Oh, they run wild in the streets in Portland. they both look at me with big, round eyes. Not kidding. They're all over the place. And they aren't the only ones. We have big ol' groups of ... at this point they're both leaning forward with their mouths hanging open waiting on my next words. I gotta keep from laughing. They're so cute. :o) But even I can't completely corrupt the 'innocent' ... SaaaAAAaaayy ... ya'll buy some fun stuff at that place?

They both nod their heads and start telling me about the vibrator and flavored lubes and whatnot.

Me: Just outta curiosity, I take it you can't show that stuff to your folks right? Nods of both heads. Then what do ya'll plan on doing when they xray your bags at the security gate?

They both just sat there for a sec ... obviously not having gotten to this point yet. They just started whispering to each other.

He: Ummm... do you think they'll take it back?

Me: Ya know, I've never considered the return policy on sex toys but I doubt it's very lax. They both just kinda look at me. I don't think so. AH! They got it. More whispering. Getting a little louder. I'm just sitting up there practically biting a hole in my lip to keep from laughing. They're talking about how they're supposed to prove what all they've spent their money on to his folks.

Me: I tell ya what ... how about I just buy the stuff from you and that way you won't get in trouble. You don't get to USE the stuff, but at least you won't get in trouble. That work for you two?

Their fare was about $20 total, I handed them another $10 and we were even. He put the bag o' stuff on the front seat as they got out.

He: Thanks so much. Really. You're cool.

Me: You're welcome. Anything I can do to keep the youth of America from getting in trouble, I'm there.

The girl, as they were talking to me thru the front pass. side window was eyeballing the bag with some serious regrets. That boy's gonna be in for some trouble. :o)