"I'll take $5.00 off the fare if you show it to me."

Picked up these 3 hot guys from up off Broadway Drive going to Sassy's (strip joint) not too far away across the river. Big, loud guy is named Tyson. He's the chatty one, thinks he's a gift to all woman-kind so of course he thought he had my number. :) The cute, small guy is up front w/me texting w/his woman and the guys in back are giving him a hard time.

Tyson: He's not texting ... he's writing his memoirs up there.

Cutie: No, not his memoirs. He's telling his girl he's staying at home since she's gone this weekend.

Tyson: Yeah. At home! Um ... reading a book!

They were laughing and stopped talking for a moment so I said:

Me: You know that's not what we want you doing while we're gone, right?

Tyson: Oh yeah! We got a woman in our car! What IS it you want us to do when at home when you're out of town? DO. TELL.

Me: Well, if you're going to stay home we want you composing poetry to our beauty. All of them looked at me like I'd lost my damn mind and not a one of 'em had anything to say to that. I took pity on 'em ... Unless of course the book you're reading is how to better pleasure us while you're doing the dishes.

Tyson: Oh YEAH! I KNEW I'd like you!! You really need to go to the bar w/us.

Me: Ha. as we pull up to the bar Bye boys ... don't let Tyson get you arrested.

Tyson: But if we did you would totally bail us out right?

Me: No, but if you'd like to give me your girl's phone number I would certainly call her. I'm sure there is plenty of stuff her n' I could chat about.


Picked up these 3 we're-with-the-band looking fellas going across the river from downtown to about 57th NE Sandy. Nice enough guys, laughing and whatnot. Drunk.

He1: Hey. We're all named Chad.

Me: Reeeeally?

He3: Oh yeah. And we're all from South Dakota. And we're all named Chad. What are the odds huh?

Me: Are you guys brothers? Tell me you're all brothers 'cuz the odds of that being funny are pretty darned tall.

He1: No. We just met.

Me: Tonight?

He2: Yes.

Me: Aaaaaand now you're all going home together. Hunh. Wasn't there a movie about that? Some cowboys that just met ... from South Dakota ... they get out of town together ... ?? :)

Hootin' and hollerin' and then we find out that He1 (who's sitting up front) has a tattoo of He Man on his ass. Apparently it's quite the draw at the bars.

Me: Color me intrigued. Can I see it? I'll take $5.00 off the fare if you show it to me.

And he did. Tiny little ass, big tattoo. But well done.


Anonymous said...

hahaha the only thing i think of when i hear "he man" is "the he man woman haters club" . i should brush up on my cartoons.

Anonymous said...

oh & thank you for all the stories recently! LOVE EM'!

Anonymous said...

i miss your stories trixie!