"And my name is Rainn, but I'm the straight one"

I get sent to Embers, a drag show club at about 2:30a. I am talking to our dispatcher on the phone to get a name when a young girl comes up to the passenger side of the car. She's wearing a wifebeater, cut off jeans at the knees, big, black boots and has a bandana on her head. I'm instantly scared. Before I roll down the window I tell the dispatcher "Whoa! This girl is ScaaaaAAaareee!! I'll call you back and tell you about this one!"

I roll down the window as she struts up.

Me: Hi there. Are you who I'm looking for?

She: Hi. Yup. You waiting for Ashley?

Me: Yes ma'am. Ya ready to go?

She: One sec, I got 2 friends with me.

She gets in and scoots over behind me, the 2 others get in and I get their address and we're off.

She1: Ha! You get to ride bitch! She says to the girl in the middle.

Me: Hey now! We just met ... no one gets to ride me without cash up front.

They all crack up. The ice has been broken.

She1: Hey girl! Right on. What's your name?

Me: M

She2: sitting at other window My name is Liz.

Me: Hi Liz.

She3: in the middle And my name is Rainn. But I'm the straight one here. She thinks about it for a second Although I have slept with both of these guys.

Me: Well then technically, that doesn't really make you straight, right?!

She1: Shit girl, you're hilarious! I like that in a woman ... are you ... ?

Me: Eeeeasy now. Don't let the ball cap fool ya doll.

She1: Shit. Doesn't hurt to ask now does it? I still think you're funny. Rainn, I've been meaning to ask you, what did you think of the night we spent together?

She3: What do you mean, 'what did I think of it'?

She1: Just what I said. What did you think?

She3: Well, I've been thinking of that night a lot lately. And really, I think it was, maybe one of the best nights I've had, sexually, in awhile.

She1: What do you mean, 'maybe one of the best'?

She3: Well, top 3 at least.

She1: I can live with that. Maybe I'll just have to try harder next time.

She3: There won't be a next time, I told you that last time.

She1: Oh yes, there will be.

She2: Hey now, what about OUR night together? I mean, yeah, that dude was there, but you didn't enjoy our night together too?

She3: Oh yeah. What WAS that guys name? Didn't we meet him that night?

She1: I just don't get it. Why would you want a guy when you have me, I got a strap on that stays hard all night compared to guys. I mean, shit! M, you know what I'm saying here, right?!

Me: Oh no. I make it a point to not get into any arguments in my car. But most especially with lesbians, you girls don't fight fair.

She1: Sheeit girl. I knew I liked you. If you ever wanna change sides, you let me know.

Me: Trust me, you'll be the FIRST to know. Here you are ladies, home safe and sound.