"I know they're just punks, but ... "

I got a call from a guy that I've picked up before:

He: Hey, are you driving tonight?

Me: Sure. Who and where are you?

He: This is Joe, you picked me up once before. I'm downtown and I need a ride.

Me: OK, I'm sorry but I'm in Gresham, about 1/2 hr away. You're probably better off catching a ride w/someone downtown.

He: Naw. It's all right, I'll wait for you.

Me: ... Reeeally. Why?

He: I remember you were really cool to me before and I want to see you again.

Me: Uh oh.

He: What do you mean?

Me: Just uh oh. No one waits 1/2 an hr downtown, in the cold, at 3 in the morning unless they want something. What is it you want?

He: Nothing. Just a ride. And, well, you were memorable.

Me: Oh Christ. Look, I'll come get you, but no hitting on me, OK?

He: Really? But ... OK.

Me: I'm heading that way, I'll call you when I get downtown.

He: K.

Half an hour later he hops in the cab, in the front and we're off to Lake Oswego. I remember him, cute little guy w/a big truck.

We laugh and joke and he keeps trying to touch me all the way there. "Is this your real hair?" "Do you want something to drink?" "Want to stop at a drive-thru? Anything at all, really." etc.

Christ. Anyway, when we get towards his home in Lake O we slowly pass this car of kids - looks to be 4 boys, backwards hats, driving mommy's Saab. I didn't really get a good look. They are on my side of the cab and eyeball me as we pass. I just wave and keep going. They pop in behind me and start following us. We turn, they turn. I pull over, they pull over. Kinda pissing me off. Dude in cab is drunk and decides he's "gonna take care of these punks". I take off again and pull into
a Plaid around the corner from Joe's house.

Me: I don't want them to follow you home. They're kinda pissing me off.

He: I'll take care of them. and he jumps out of the cab and starts to chase 'em down the street. They take off, go up the street and he hops back in the cab. Told you I'd take care of them, I carry a gun, they aren't going to be chasing you around.

While I'm chewing him out for carrying a gun when he's drunk and trying to be stupid the kids pull up at the stop sign behind us and turn off their lights and wait for us to pull out. Now I'm getting concerned, not just pissed. Between them and him ...

Me: Hey Joe, can you go in and get me a bottle of water? I'm really thirsty.

He: Sure Babe, be right back.

Me: calling 911 Hey there. My name is Trixie and I drive for Trixie Cab, I'm in Lake Oswego and have some kids following me around. Have been for almost 10 minutes. They're parked behind me now w/their lights off waiting for me to pull out of the Plaid at etc etc ... and look, the guy in my cab is drunk and has a gun on him. Someone is going to get hurt if these kids keep effing around.

She gets the particulars from me and Joe gets back in the cab (with a GALLON of water :) and he hears me talking to her so he looks over to where I tell her the kids are and jumps out of the cab and runs after them again. I tell her what's going on. The kids flip a bitch in the middle of the road and take off. Joe stumbles back to the cab and gets in. I'm still talking to her and the kids come back and drive right behind me in the parking lot - blocking my way out. Laughing. Now I can see they're just kids.

He: Look, they're just punk kids. This is what we do in Lake O when we're bored, we drive around the lake 2X and if we don't find any trouble to get into then we just go home.

Me: I know they're just punks, but someday they're going to mess w/the wrong person. And now I can't go anywhere because they're blocking my way out. Can't you rich kids get a *hobby* or something? Damn.

He: I'll get them out of here. I grab his shoulder as he opens the cab door to keep him in the cab and she gets concerned over whether or not there's going to be a problem. I tell her no, the kids are driving off as he opened the door.

Me: They pulled away from the cab but they stopped at the corner next to the Plaid and are waiting for me.

She: There's an officer right around the corner, should be there any second.

And they were. Pulled over the kids. She told me they would call me if they needed me. I took off w/Joe and got him home. Had to fend off his friendly hands.


Eeshie said...

WOW. That must have been annoying/scary/creepy/lemons. All at once. Including the lemons.

Even so, makes for an entertaining story.

Your blog is verrrrry entertaining. It sounds like you live in the city. I live in NYC. :)

whall said...

Holy crap! I'm glad you have your wits about you and are sane. You write about it very well, too. I'm guessing the writing helps shrug it off in the long run.

Anonymous said...

god damn lake big-ego!