It almost scares me how funny I find this one.

I got sent to go pick up a younger-ish lady from BFE Gresham last night 'round about 1:30a. I get there, she's pretty drunk, but not overly. She's been drunk-dialing this fella that she met just a coupla nights before at a bar. They're texting back n' forth and what it comes down to is he is paying the cab to bring her to him. He lives just off downtown, NE.

She's gushing all over about what a great guy he is. Surprisingly still single and no children. Blah, blah, what a great guy.

I get her down there, she sends him a text saying she's there. He sends one back saying he'll meet her at the door (secure building). She leaves her stuff in the cab and walks up to the door. Right then a woman in a car w/the lights off pulls up next to her, on the street, honks to get her attention, calls her a bitch, takes her picture with a cell phone and yells "Just thought you'd like to know I have his cell phone. I'm the one sending you texts for the last hour. Whore!" Then drives off.

I'm doing my damnest to not laugh at her (where she can hear me) as she gets back in the car.

She: Shit. Now what am I going to do?

Me: I take it from that comment you don't have any money.

She: I have $15.

Me: Well, it's $40. Whatcha gonna do about this?

She: I don't know. Let me call my roommate.

She tells her what's going on and apparently the roommate asked to speak with me. Meanwhile the meter's running.

Me: Yes?

She2: Hi. You know what's going on with my girl there right?

Me: Yup. I was here for it all.

She2: Well, I got $20. My girl says she has $15. Is $35 going to be enough for you?

Me: No. The meter's at $40 and it's going to take another $40 to get her back to you to get the rest of the money.

She2: What the ... Well, I tell you what, that's just going to HAVE to do. If that's not good enough then I don't know how to help you so you're going to have to take the $35.

Me: Well, actually, no I don't HAVE to take the $35. And just for the record, I don't really care if you can help me or not ... it's not YOU that's going to jail.

I handed the phone back to the girl in the backseat. She starts throwing a fit on the phone about going to jail. I can hear the roommate telling her she isn't going to pay the fare so I pick up my phone and start dialing Multnomah non-emergency. Now she's crying and begging on the phone so the roommate agrees to pay the fare.

I get her back there, it's just over $90. The roommate hands me 5 20's off a stack that's about an inch thick and is cussing up a storm the whole time. I just take my money and leave.

So girls, let this be a lesson to you, never leave home without cab fare. Even if he says he's paying.


Dave2 said...

Classic. I can't help but wonder what kind of mess that the guy is going to be in when his woman gets home!

Sizzle said...

Yeah, I'm with Dave2. That guy is in TROUBLE (as he should be). And that girl is learning one hard lesson. Think maybe she will be looking for a new place to live soon? ;-)

Manic Witch said...

How many people have you had arrested for stiffing you? Have you ever had to go to court for that?
I agree with the two here-that guy is in some serious shit when his girlfriend catches up with him.

Nancy said...

Been reading you and your archives for a couple of weeks . . . it's great!

I thought you might like this:

Dooce had it posted on her site today.

vinylfreak said...

Was her name Cristal?

Anonymous said...

I hate to admit it but I am too soft and probably would have let her go.

Danarchist said...

Heh that's awesome! I once had a ex show up at my door with a somewhat greesy looking fella in tow. I opened the door, ex was hammered, and the greasy guy says "She said you would pay the fare." Which I did, plus the amount to take her back where he picked her up lol