Hey now, I gotta story for you ...

I got sent to the Acropolis (fairly popular strip joint just S of downtown) to pick up a coupla guys 'round about 1:45a last night. One guy gets in the cab (He1), 2 others are trying to convince a 3rd that they needed to leave. Took 'em about 5 minutes to do that so the 1st guy and I chatted for a bit. They were all pretty drunk, bachelor party. These are older guys, all mid-late 30's and the last of their group is finally "falling". We're heading to Oregon City (further south by about 15 minutes) so we have some time so they can tell me their "story".

After we're going ...

He#2: So, did you hear our story?

Me: You got a story?

He#3 and 4: OH BOY do we got a story!

Me: All right, let's hear it.

He#1: So we're at this bachelor party and we decide to hire ... um ... these ... ladies ...

He#2: Strippers!! We hired strippers. Let me tell it. We called around and found these girls that were willing to do a little girl-on-girl action for us for 500 bucks.

Me: Wow. That's some fairly serious money. I hope they were worth it.

He#3: Pssht. Not even close.

He#4: Maybe if we'd gotten to see at least ONE of them naked!

He#2: Sh! I'll tell it. So one girl shows up. She's waiting for the other to show so we're eating dinner, she sits there for about 1/2 an hour, eating and laughing with us. She decides to call her friend again. Dummy over here (He#3) decides to say something stupid to her and she gets a little nervous.

He#3: That's what she SAID.

Me: Uh-oh. I see where this is going...

He#2: Yeah, she decided to wait in the car for her friend.

Me: And you let her take the money with her, didn't ya?

He#2: Well, yeah. But she said her friend was probably just lost and needed to get out of the house to get better reception.

Me: shaking my head Oh man, I can't believe you fell for that!!

He#1: I KNOW! We're idiots.

He#3: But wait ... it gets better!!

He#2: Oh yeah! We go outside to check on her after about 15 minutes, we could see her sitting in her car the whole time and as we're out there talking to her another car pulls up.

He#3: An Escalade.

He#4: Full of mean looking Mexicans.

He#1: With guns!!

He#2: We thought we were going to die!! They jumped outta the Escalade, pulled their guns on us and she took off in her car. We all just stood there and watched her go. The guys didn't even say anything. Just got in their car and took off.

Me: Well, at least you lived to tell the tale.

He#3: Yeah, but we're out 500 bucks. The bitch!

Me: Yeah, but again, at least you lived to tell the tale. It could have been a whole lot worse. And think of the story you can tell at the wedding party!!

He#2: Oh no. I think we're never going to speak of this one again. Agreed guys?

They all agreed, then discussed possible ways of getting back at these people but decided the best thing to do was just to let it lie and chalk it up to experience.

I almost felt sorry for them. Almost.


kapgar said...

That's why we have you! To keep their shame alive!

Sabrina said...

That's a pretty large idiot fee.

Brian said...

That was worth the wait.

Candy said...

I NEVER feel sorry for anybody coming out of a topless joint, no matter what happened.