ST Patty's 2008 (Friday)

I took most of the last 3 weeks off because I was ill, but I had to work St Patty's weekend.

Fri: I got sent to The Matador to pick up a couple from outta town 'round about 1a. It's in a pretty busy area for cabs that are wandering around so I doubted they would still be there, I called from 2 blocks away.

Me: Hey there. This is your taxi, are you still in need of a ride?

She: quite drunk Yesh! Gawd, it's cold out here. Where are you?

Me: I'm at the light about 2 blocks away, I'll see you in about 30 seconds, are you in front of the door or at the corner?

She: We're on the corner in front. Please hurry, it's cold!

Me: I'll be right there.

I get there and there's no one on the corner, or in front of the bar, other than people that were already loading into cabs. Being the good little cabbie that I am I drove around the block(s) (we have a lot of 1 ways, have to go a coupla blocks outta the way to get back to where they were to be) 3 times. I called, got their voice mail, left a msg and went about my night.

I picked up a fella on Burnside going to the inner east side to about 16th and Hawthorne. As I was dropping him I got a call from those same people at the Matador, the guy this time.

Me: Hello.

He: Yeah, we talked to you and you said you were only 2 blocks away. What happened?

Me: Are you the folks at the Matador?

He: Hell yes, and it's cold out here.

Me: I drove by there 3X, no one was outside and I called, got your vmb and left a msg. What else was I to do?

He: Damn it. We're still waiting on you. All right, since you SAY you left a msg I'll let this one slide. Can you come get us or not, it's fuckin' cold out here. We've been waiting for a goddamned long time.

Me: Yeah, well it HAS been 25 minutes. Who waits 25 effin minutes to call back when the cab said they would be there in 30 seconds? I can be there in less than 10, I'm just across the bridge now. Do you want to wait for me or would you like to take a cab that's driving by?

He: Well, you ARE the one that's supposed to come get us so we'll damn well wait on you. Don't you leave us hanging, again. What's your name?

I told him, said I'd be right there and drove over. I get there, no one on the corner again. This time I pull up in front of the bar w/my flashers and call them. Never know, they might be waiting inside since they were so cold. Got voice mail again. Idiots.

I left them a msg: "Hey, this is your cabbie again. I'm here, you aren't. If you are still in the area and need a ride give me a call back soon and I'll come give you a free ride to your hotel. I don't know what happened but call me if you need a ride."

I picked up a couple and were taking them to inner NE when I get a voice mail. I didn't hear it ring. It was the drunk woman from that couple.

She: Hey, I don't know what the fuck happened to you but we're still waiting, on the same FUCKING corner and you NEVER fucking showed! What the FUCK? Is this how Portland FUCKING Oregon treats people from out of state? Yeah well I think ... click.

Whew. Now I'm feeling REAL bad about not picking them up. Mmm hm. Shame my whole city because they weren't where they said they would be and answering their phone.

I picked up a group of folks from a bar and was telling them about this couple when they called back. I just let it go straight to vmb. They left another msg. I listened to it and then put it on speaker for the folks in the back.

She: Hey! I don't know what the FUCK is fucking wrong with you but you fucking SUCK! Fucking Portland Oregon fucking SUCKS! I think I'm going to call the fucking city and complain about you. You're the biggest piece of shit to ever come out of Portland fucking Oregon! Here we are, still standing in front of the Matador fucking bar and you won't even fucking come and get us. Well FUCK you and your fucking city! FUCK YOU! and then she says Hi, can we get our room key?

We laughed.


Paradise Driver said...

Hope you are feeling better.

I always enjoy your stories.

BarnGoddess said...

omg, what a beyotch!

Sizzle said...

Can we get our room key?

Priceless shit.

Dave2 said...

I don't get it. She was at her hotel and lying the whole time?? Bitch!

Rueben Kinkaid said...

That's a phone number that needs to find its way into every public toilet you enter for the next three years.

lyle said...

nobody else has said it yet, so i'll do it...

isn't there another bar with the name 'matador' in it that's closer to 23rd?


The Acid Queen said...

You know what'll be even funnier?

If Drunk and Lyin' runs across this blog and reads this entry. Can't wait to see what she has to say!

whall said...

I'd blog about my experiences too, just to release steam.