1/4/07

New Years Eve was ...

... incredibly uneventful. Highly lucrative, but uneventful.

The only highlight in between all the many over-privileged youth that are usually above taking a cab (but thankfully weren't drinking and driving and when drunk do not care how much they tip)
is about 3:45a I was taking a lady home, out in the 'burbs and we get stopped at a light @ 122nd & Burnside. Not in one of the worst neighborhoods, but an oft travelled thoroughfare. Just as the light changed to green in front of me a group of hoodlums (hoodlums = 6 kids, all less than 14 y.o. out at 3:45a) they decided to walk against the light, in front of me.

They hit the cross walk just about 10 sec. before me, so of COURSE I had to stop. 5 of them kept walking, but laughing at me as I gave them the p.c./underage sign language for "just get the f outta my way" but the last little fucker he decides he's gonna be real cool and hit my car with his hand. I once again give a p.c. handsign for "yeah, you little fucker, you think you're cute but if I didn't have this lady in my car I'd probably run your little ass down".

I'm thinking he misinterpreted the smile I gave with that p.c. handsign because he then decided he was going to jump on the hood of my car.

"Hm." Thinks I.

He backs up about 15 feet to get a good run (straight in front of me) and while all his friends are hootin' 'n hollerin' for him to go ahead and jump on my fuckin' car (they apparently didn't feel as p.c. as I) he runs at me, with some very impressive speed I might add, takes a flying leap and in MID-AIR mind you turns to land on the hood of my car butt cheeks first.

Amazed and awed by his sheer Jordan-esque flight, I still managed to put the car in reverse and back up about 15 ft.

He missed. My car, at least. Did manage to make contact with the ground though.

And as I was driving off in the lane next to where he was laying rubbing his ass and CRYING I rolled down the window and mentioned that he might wanna make sure next time the vehicle is stationary before he tried that again. And wished him a lovely New Year.

Only 3.45 hrs into the New Year and already blew one of my resolutions to be a gooder human being. Damn it.

I wish everyone a glorious 2007.

6 comments:

Jenn said...

OMG I love it!!! And if it were me, I'd probably also be on the phone to report them to the police for violation of curfew. Rock on chicky!

The Acid Queen said...

Oh, now that's funny.

Good for you. :D

tragerstreit said...

Wish your car had a copcam on it. That would be a glorious YouTube film.

safe and happy New Year.

Dave2 said...

I would have been happy to bust my ass like that if it meant I could be in Portland for New Years to see The Retros playing at the Crystal Ballroom!

G.S. said...

Kind of like you were the matador and he was the bull. Ole!

Jenna said...

ROTFL. Well played!