Hey now, remember me?? :o)

I got sent to a retirement facility to pick up this tiny little lady and take her to go play bingo not too long ago. I had to go to her door to fetch her, the instructions say "Be careful, 93 yo, moves slow but very independent". Okee Dokee.

I wander on up and knock on her door. She opens it and she is just the cutest, tiniest little old lady I've ever seen. She's got her hair and make up all done up, her big sparkly BINGO sweatshirt on, a big ol' smile and some strappy 4 inch heels. Nothing else.

I'm just standing there ... whooooooa.

Me: Oh. Well now, hello there.

She: Hi Honey. I'm ready.

Me: Are you sure??

She: Oh yes dear.

Me: You realize you forgot something there, right? As I'm saying this I'm pointing downwards towards her nekkid legs.

She: cackling like a biker that's been smoking 2 packs a day for the last 50 years HA! Just wanted to see if you'd notice!

Me: Well, jeez. Ok. I noticed. Now go put some drawers on, it's cold outside.

She: cackling s'more I like you Honey. I got something to show you.

Me: Something else?!

She: cackling again Hold on a second. She scoots herself and her little ol' walker around to where her backside is facing me: Now do you think these shoes make my legs look longer?? She asks as she's looking over her shoulder at me.

Me: Ya know, I think they'd look a whole lot longer if ya GO PUT SOME PANTS ON!!

She just laughs at me again and asks me to wait for her. She told me some fairly interesting stories about her life.

I like to think that if I make it to the age of 93 I'll have earned the right to wander 'round w/out my drawers. I don't plan on inflicting that on anyone, but I'll have definately earned the right.


Steve said...

Thanks for the funny story. Reminds me of one time I was delivering pizza back in college. Man answered the door wearing only a thong. He invited me in, I stepping inside the front door and say that his entire apartment, floor, walls, ceiling were completely covered with magazine pages showing gay porn. When I got back to the pizza shop all the staff were laughing. Apparently this guy orders often and they always send the "new guy" to deliver the pizza.


Sizzle said...

That is so funny. What a character!

Iron Fist said...

If I have to wait until I'm 93 to walk around without pants I'll be sorely disappointed. I want my pants-free lifestyle, and I want it now.

whall said...

Yeah. to me, anyone who makes it past 70 should get some pretty cool perks. Like, oh, say, anything.

btw, I noticed a frightful trend on your blog. 133 posts for 2007. 51 posts for 2008. ONE for 2009.


Tragerstreit said...

YOwza. What an awesome attitude to have, but um...age does things to a body that no one should bear witness to except those who really, really love you.

Scheets said...

I remember you! :)

But I would like to remember you more regularly. :(

Hope everything is going alright with you over there. Give us an update!