"So, which one am I: fat or ugly?"

Got sent to the Crystal Ballroom to pick up some folks a few nights ago (4 ppl, 3 stops) and the last one was this skinny little girlish/waif person that was somewhat drunk and fairly amusing to talk to. We were chatting about a lot of stuff and she mentioned that they were part of this group of ppl that met on the 'net at a website for "folks that have a hard time making friends". She gave me the 'site and I took her home.

Little while later I picked up a couple going two different places as well, guy first then the girl. She ended up in Troutdale so we had some time to chat. I was telling her cab stories and whatnot, mentioned that I have a blog w/them, she asked for the address and then I said:

Me: Speaking of which, I picked up this girl earlier that was telling me about this other website for "People that have a hard time meeting and making friends". I thought that was a bit amusing.

She: Oh, yeah. I could see how that would be funny. Might be what you need though.

Me: .... do I LOOK like I have a hard time making friends?

She: somewhat embarrassed No, no. Not at all, I'm sorry, I just meant ... well ... you are kind of big.

Me: OH. So you think it's a website for fat people.

She: more embarrassed NO. Oh my God that's not what I meant at all. I'm sure there are a bunch of really unattractive people there as well.

Me: Hunh. This was getting amusing. So, which one do you think I am: fat or ugly?

She: incredibly embarrassed now (to my amusement) Holy ... Jesus ... you're twisting what I'm saying all around. That is NOT what I meant to say. I don't mean to insult you...

Me: Yet you are. Tell ya what ... why don't you take a minute and say exactly what you DO mean. I can wait.

She: I ... OK. A few minutes go by then to me ... You're mean.

Me: So I've been told. Apparently fat and ugly as well.

She: I didn't ... well ... OK ... I did ... but I didn't mean to ... but ... I ... never mind. I'm done talking to you.

And she didn't say anything the rest of the ride. I was still pretty darned amused.


Sizzle said...


She's the mean one. Plus, she's inarticulate and rude. You showed her. ;)

Anonymous said...

Exactly, you gave her time to put her thoughts together and formulate exactly what she'd like to say and that's all she could come up with?

Good thing she didn't talk the rest of the time, it just would have been a waste of air~

whall said...

Clearly you were incessently and arrogantly rude. How could you do that to such a sweet and innocent girl? I mean, come on, could have BEEN any meaner to her?

Didn't your mother ever tell you - NEVER give the socially handicapped and tactless morons of the world enough rope to hang themselves?

YOU chose to let her speak her mind; YOU decided to ask what she thought. She can't help herself with what comes out of her mouth, and you as the superior human have the obligation to know this and not let people dig themselves into holes like that.

Shame on you.


Donna said...

Truth is not only stranger than fiction, it's funnier, too.

adena said...

Holy crap, what the hell is WRONG with people??

kapgar said...

You handled that beautifully! Good play.

Dave2 said...

I have zero sympathy for people who claim they cannot express themselves properly, because I often find that they say exactly what they mean... they just don't like being branded a jerk because of it.

tom reeves said...

You could have told her that she was "fatuous." :)

tom reeves said...

One other comment: I love dialog in a blog. It's great to read. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

This is exactly the sort of thing women do to men all the time. Just cause I.... I mean she, said she... I mean you were fat and/or ugly doesn't say thats what I... darn, she meant. :)

And a week on the couch is a bit harsh.

Tracy Lynn said...

Dude, that was AWESOME. I heart you.

Tragerstreit said...

She calls you fat and ugly and you're the mean one?

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. Woe is her, to be one of The Beautiful Ones. It must be terrible for her.

I hope she reads this entry and cries.

I guess I'm mean, too.