This would be hilarious if ...

... the guy wasn't blind.

You'll see. I think I might have done this to a drunk friend in college. :)

I was sitting in the taxi line at the airport waiting to pick up whomever was next when the 'port helper walked a dude out to me w/his luggage and put him in the back seat of my cab. I put his luggage in the trunk and hopped in the car.

Me: Hey there. How you doin'?

He: Fine. Thanks. It was a good flight. I need to go to the Marriott.

Me: K. Which one?

He: Is there more than here? Someone told me this was a pretty small town.

Me: Portland?? We like to think so, but no, 2.5 million w/the 'burbs. And 5 Marriott's just in downtown. Any ideas which one?

He: Not really. Can you get my itinerary out of my luggage? It's in the outside zipper.

Me: Sure.

I hopped out and got into his luggage and pulled out the paperwork ... Mapquest printed out. I was a bit confused by the address until I looked a little closer. Portland, MAINE.

No shit.

Wow. I didn't even know where to go from there. There are cabs lined up behind me waiting for me to get out of the way and I'm just standing there drawing a complete blank. I waved the cabs around me and waved the starter ('port helper) over to me and told him what was going on. I know I wouldn't believe some cab driver if they told me I was on the wrong end of the country so I called in some back up.

Poor dude in the cab finally got out to sit on a bench and make a few phone calls.

While the starter was helping dude back to the bench there was this HOT young man standing there waiting to talk to the starter. We eyeballed each other for a coupla seconds and he smiled at me in a VERY promising way. He started walking towards me, and as I turned to open the door for him this big ol' scary flannel wearing woman walked up from the other way, said "Thanks" and hopped in. Damn it. :)