Wanna know what makes for a bad night for a cabbie?

I hated almost every minute of my night last night. Just one of those nights, it happens. I expect it. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

A taster:

First two "runs" were long ones, both over $40 and in less than an hour, I'm thinking it might be a good night ... to quote Ice Cube "I didn't have to use my A.K.". Downhill from there.

I get sent to go pick up a guy to take him from his house to the Plaid for a beer run, and back. $7.70 on the meter. I get $7.70 exactly. In change. Get a call from a person that lives 2 houses down from this guy while I'm waiting for him to count out his change. I drive over there but have to call him as he doesn't come out ...

Me: This is your cab, I'm downstairs.

He: OK.

I wait a minute, no kid. I call him back.

He: Oh, yanno what? I already left, you guys took too long.

Me: I "took too long" to drive the two house distance from his to yours?

He: Yeah. You know. I could hear his friends laughing in the background, obviously they're children. You just dropped off Dude, right?

Me: So you can see me sitting in front of your house?

He: Yeah, but it took you too long to get here. snicker

Me: Well, if you see me sitting in front of your house, after all this time then you must be still in there.

He: Silence.

Me: Unh huh. If you're going to play stupid games, do it on someone else's time. Wouldn't you hate for me to knock on this door and wake your parents?

He: whispering to friends Dude! She's going to knock on the door! What do I do? My parents are going to kill me!!

Me: Opening the door Can you see me opening the door to get out and knock?

He: PLEASE don't knock!! My parents will kill me!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, really!!!

Me: Good bye. I close the door and hang up.

Next call: Get sent to Ptld. Adventist to pick up someone on Oregon Health Plan to take her and her kids home. They get in the car and I ask to see their ID card, I need to verify her eligibility.

She: I left it at home.

Me: Then I can't give you a ride home. That's the rules.

She: Well then I guess me and my CHILDren are walking.

Me: Sorry I can't help you with that.

She: And what in the hell took you so long to get here?

Me: It's Friday night at 11p. What in the hell made you think you could get a ride without your ID card?

She: Well, I didn't think you would make me and my CHILDREN walk at this time of night.

Me: The buses will be running in about 5 hours.

She: So you really aren't going to give me a ride? You are REALLY going to make these young CHILDREN walk home? In THIS weather?

Me: Nope.

She: I didn't think so.

Me: You are.

She: Ex-CUSE me?

Me: You know you have to have your card. That's the way this whole "low income, free ride to the hospital" thing works. You know that. I've picked you up before.

She: Here. She hands me her ID card.

Me: Oh. So you didn't leave it at home, huh?

She didn't say anything else, although I heard one of her children say "So you didn't leave it at home huh?" to her. She told the kid to shut up. Fortunately it was a short ride.

Next run:

Get sent to a bar to pick up a woman. I get there, she gets in and immediately wants to use my phone.

Me: Nope. I don't loan my phone out. I could stop for you to use a pay phone if you need it that badly.

She: I ain't got no money. I just wanted to call my friend and make sure she would be home so she knows to pay the cab fare when I get there.

Me: pulling over to the side of the road Sorry. I don't do that. If you don't have the money I'm not giving you a ride.

We have a little of the back and forth "But ma'am" shit and me saying no. She finally gets out. I drive off.

Next run:

Sent to pick up a guy about 5 miles from that run. I get there, w/in 5 minutes and call him.

Me: This is your cab, I'm downstairs.

He: Hunh? Who's this?

Me: Your taxi.

He: You a friend of my sisters?

Me: Doubtful. This is Trixie Cab. Are you coming down?

He: Oh, I called my sister to come get me, I thought she would get here before you. Can you hold on, I'm going to call her and see if she is on her way, if not I might need a ride. Hold on a second.

Me: Nope. Wait for your sister. Good bye. I hang up on him.

Next run:

Get sent to a call about 6 miles from there, I get there and there is another cab there. One of ours. Dude barely speaks english so is having a hard time finding the address, but he's blocking the driveway to the apt complex where he's supposed to go. Turns out we're both there for the same person. Dispatch error. I call them and we both got the call at the same time, etc. I tell them to take it from me and I'll go get something else. I get another call immediately (it's pretty busy out) to pick up someone 6 miles away, in 15 minutes.

As I drive by an Arby's they're still open so I pull into the drive thru. I make my order and pull up to the window. The girl in the window has an attitude when I hand her my money.

Me: Rough night?

She: Yeah.

Me: I know the feeling. Believe me.

She: I doubt you know what I mean. YOU don't have people that show up five minutes before you close, after you've already closed and cleaned everything and ask for food. RIGHT?

Me: I'm sorry, I didn't see any signs posted as to the hours and your "Open" lights are on. If I would have known you closed in 5 I wouldn't have driven up just for that reason. I used to work in fast food, I know what that's like.

She: points to the sign in the window that says 1a on fri and sat nights. Can you read THIS? MAN. No wonder you're a cab driver.

Me: Since I'm getting a little bit irritated by now. Excuse me, but didn't I just buy enough shit from this over priced shithouse to pay your hourly wage?

She: WHAT?

Me: If you hate your job, or doing what you have to do because you work for someone else, take it out on yourself, not your CUSTOMER. How much fun would your life be because someone called your manager in the morning and explained your attitude and you got fired? It's not that easy to find a job in this day and age.

She just looked at me like I'm the biggest bitch in the world.

Me: Keep your damned food. I'm sure if you didn't spit in it you didn't cook it well.

And I drove off to pick up the other girl I get sent to, I have about 9 minutes to get there. I get there with 2 to spare and she's getting into someone else's car.

She: I'm sorry. My friend got here before you did, I don't need a ride no more.

I void the call and get sent to another, about 3 miles away which turns out to be the same woman that didn't have any money. She called us AGAIN when I wouldn't take her before and just got lucky enough to get me. She walks up:

Me: So I see you have a different name this time, does that mean you have MONEY now?

She: Listen, ma'am, I am not kidding with you, my friend will pay when ...

Me: Nope.

I drove off. Had enough. Went home at a little before 2a and stayed until 6a. Gassed up the cab and dropped it at work.

There was no way this night was going to be salvaged, I was in too bad of a mood to put up w/anyone else.

On the plus side: when I got home I watched VH-1's "Top 100 songs of the 90's" (about 2.5 hours total after you tivo all the commercials) and got to see a lot of "where are they now" stuff. Most surprising was the lead singer of Color me Badd ("I Wanna Sex You Up") ... older, much fatter, owns a tire store in Oklahoma.

That cheered me up. heh. Sorry for the long write, I had to vent.