I got subpeonaed.

And I'm not happy about it. I have to go to court at 8 in the gdamned morning. Can ya'll guess how excited I am about this? Pssht. It's about the kid that was jumping on trees that one morning downtown. I think I put a msg on here about the DA calling and asking for me to leave her a msg on vmb letting her know what I had seen. Arrrrgh.

"But we haven't GONE anywhere"

I picked up a middle-aged fella t'other night from the Hilton downtown. Nice enough guy, just talking on the phone the entire time so hard to get any info out of. He gets in and is so busy talking that he doesn't have time to talk to me I try to get info out of him but he keeps giving me the finger (you know - the hold one finger), after about 5 minutes of this (patience level: 4) I finally just start the meter. I'm nice, but I'm not that nice. Our meters make a noise when they start so he heard that.

He: to caller Hold on a second. to me Did you just start the meter? Why? We haven't gone anywhere.

Me: You've been sitting in my cab for 5 minutes. Technically I was to start it when you got in, but since I'm a nice person, up to a point, I waited.

He: But we haven't GONE anywhere. to caller Are you hearing this? She wants to charge me for sitting in her car. No. No. No, we haven't gone anywhere.

Me: Sir, (level 3) you flagged down my cab as if you wanted to go somewhere. If you'd like to give me the address we can be off and you can continue your phone conversation. If you want to just sit here it's $30/hr.

He: to caller Oh. My. Gawd. the whole time he's talking to his friend he's staring me in the eye Are you hearing this? Tell me you are hearing this. I KNOW. I can't believe it either.

Me: (Defcon 2) Sir, AGAIN. If you want to just sit here while talking to your friend on the phone it's $30/hr. I WORK for a living, driving this cab, if you want to sit in it, it's going to cost you... Thirty. Dollars. An hour. If you would just give me the address you can insult me all you like while talking to your friend on the phone AND getting to your destination. If not, kindly get out of my car.

He: I can't BELIEVE you think THIS is work. to caller Can you believe she's talking to me this way? I wonder if she knows who I am. She should feel privileged to have me in her car. I can't believe this. No wonder people think badly of cab drivers.

Me: (Defcon 1) SIR. I don't KNOW who you are, nor do I CARE who you are other than some snob that thinks the world needs to wait on him. YOU are in my cab because YOU flagged me down because YOU wanted to go somewhere. I did not solicite you to ride in my cab. You know what, just because of your self-important celebrity status I'm going to go ahead and turn off the meter for you because ...

He: to caller, while looking at me I KNEW she would change her mind. People always do when they're confronted with superior skills.

Me: If you and your superior skills of interruption would be calm for just one minute, what I was trying to say was I going to turn off the meter for you BECAUSE I no longer want you in my cab. Have the valet call you another cab.

He: ... Can you ...

Me: And before we have another round of "can you believe it's" would you just get out of the car because really, you're wasting your "superior skills" on this ignorant cab driver.

He sputtered a bit, but got out talking about how he wouldn't want to ride in the car with such a rude person to begin with, etc.

Wouldn't wanna work on this farm ...

It's the shearing process that has me worried.



Here's my latest ... also drew another but am mailing it off to someone that I'm sure will be putting it on his blog so ya'll'll getta see it when/if that happens.

I had a bad night tonight ...

So when I pulled up to an order and the guy sitting on the porch started yelling "Your cab company sucks! All of you drivers are the same, you all SUCK!" I felt completely justified in saying "Well now, that's kinda like saying 'all drunken white boys take it in the ass, right?' "

Irritating ... damned ...

Edited to add 8-27: All right, I guess I should say that the guy was with the girl that called the cab, she just walked up to me when I got there and told me she had changed her mind about needing the cab. "Sorry, I just forgot to call and cancel."

Nothing exciting, but ...

My cab is down for maintenance (has been since Saturday evening actually) and so is my apartment (long story there) so I have no new stories, yet and am stuck in a hotel for a week.

BUT, I have an update on one story from a few days ago ... my 13 yr. old foster child; the company refused to pay me. Pssht.

AND, just 'cuz I finally figured out - sorta - how to do this, this link is to my pics on WebShots. A very few of the ones I draw. (Can't tell I'm a little proud eh?! :o)

http://entertainment.webshots.com/photo/2975338190086530371wrFgdQ

And if any of ya'll are really brave, you can look at the other albums and catch a glimpse into the life of a cab driver. But I'm warning you, it's nothing glamorous. Lotsa crafting. I am a girl after all. :o)

Toodles.

Could I get an opinion here folks ?

I keep hearing how I should "write a book". Whatcha think? Would you buy this book? Really?? And if I were to write the book, assuming ol' Bill at "My Fare City" would throw a fit I'm thinking I could name it "Lady of the Night: Cab Stories from Ptld, OR" or something along those lines. Whatcha think?



And if anyone is interested ...

This is how I keep myself entertained while I'm between calls. These are my deposit envelopes for work.

I'm not too bad at this drawing thing, eh?! :o)



Edited to add: OK, yes, this is a self-portrait. Don't all cab drivers look like this?! They do in Portland. I kid you not. Every, single, good-looking, english-speaking one of us. Well, minus the bird of course, 'cuz, well, no animals in the cab unless they're service animals.

Most annoying phone call ... ever.

I get sent to pick up a feller at about 10:30p from a church near the convention center and am to take him to the outer skirts of Tigard ... about 25 minutes. (Or in cab driver mileage ... about 55 dollars.) He is already on the phone when he gets in but asks the talkee to hold a moment while he gives me directions.

This is his conversation:

Yeah, I'm back.
Can you hear me?
I sound like I'm in a tunnel?
Can you hear me?
Yeah, the window is open.
Can you hear me?
I can't hear you.
Yes.
Yes.
The window is open.
Can you hear me?
A tunnel? Really?
Which tunnel do you suppose?
Can you hear me?
The window is down.
Yeah.
The window is down.
I don't know.
Can you hear me?
I can hear you.
The Lincoln Tunnel maybe?
Can you hear me?
The window is down.
I can hear you.
I'm exhausted.
A tunnel.
The window is down.
I'm so tired.
The bus didn't show.
I'm in a cab.
The window is down.
Just like a tunnel.
The window is down.

At this point I had enough. I rolled up his window 'cuz I just couldn't take it any longer.

Yeah.
Can you hear me?
The window is up.
Yes.
She put it up.
The cab driver.
The window IS up.
Still a tunnel?
A quieter tunnel maybe?
I can hear you.
Can you hear me?
The window is up.
I'm exhausted.
The window is up.
Can you hear me?

I swear that if I hadn't have picked this fella up at a church I would have gotten him one step closer to his God.

"So, you just want me to leave him on the side o' the road?"

I get sent to pick up a young fella at about 21st and Belmont at 9p last night, the instructions say the p/u person will have a pre-printed acount slip and I need a signature. I get there and he walks up to me and asks if I was looking for 'Michael', yup, hop in.

Me: after the greetings So do you have an account slip for me?

He: Um, no.

Me: Ah. Sorry, you need to have one. Is there someone you can get one from here?

He: No.

Me: Well then, can you call the person that set up your ride?

He: Um, no.

Ok, to make this long story a bit shorter: this 13 yr old foster kid is going to his new meeting for the 1st time and his ride is being paid by one of the larger unnamed shoe companies in this town that has an account with us. There is no one to get hold of this late. I call dispatch, they have no suggestions for me. My options are a) don't get paid and give the kid a ride or b) don't get paid and leave the kid on the side of the road, 6.9 miles from his foster home after dark. Arrrgh.

Yeah, well, no real decision to make there, I gave the kid a ride.

I couldn't yell at the dispatchers, it isn't their fault, wasn't the kid's fault, the foster parents, they don't care (I spoke w/them as I had to escort the kid to the door). So I'm a little peeved about this. I'm going to call the company today and speak w/the folk in charge and see if they can't set up some sort of backup plan for something like this, if it's obviously an issue then my company should pay me if the account won't because we all know who's going to be liable if something were to happen to that kid if I just left him there. It would be me and my company, not the account holder and their "policies" because we still would have left a child on the side of the road at night. Angers me to no end.

Worst part is, if it were 98% of the other drivers out there I'm sure they would have just left him.

How about some random shorts ...

Stories I mean :o)

1) Picked up a drunk fella from Dr. Feelgood's in Tigard. He was blabbering the trip away, it was his first time out in 6 years, his wife died and he has been taking care of his 6 yr. old son since. Has never really been able to afford a sitter until he just got this new job. We went to the sitter's to get his son then I took them home.

2) Got my first 'in labor' run. Girl up in Oregon City, I was in dntn Ptld (about 25 mins away) at about 3a one random night. I took my time getting down there as she didn't tell the disp. that she was in labor, just needing a ride. Turns out she is an OR Health Plan patient, and her first child. Since she is an OHP member they didn't send her to any sort of lamaze classes or anything letting her know what to expect because, well, I'm sure they don't want to put any more strain on the tax paying public. By the time I got there she was understandably distressed. Contractions were 4 mins apart and I had to take her to OHSU (downtown Ptld). She was screaming pretty much the whole way, bf was staring at her in horror from the back seat (she was in front) and about 10 minutes into the ride I'd had enough of the screaming.

I had to scream at her to get her attention (while we're driving) and explain to her lamaze breathing and concentration. I had to hold her hand and walk her through her breathing for the rest of the ride (thankfully, I've walked a few friends through labor). Once she started concentrating on her breathing she calmed and the contractions slowed. Jeez. What a ride.

3) Got sent to an address in inner Milwaukie to pick up a fella. When I got to the address I didn't see anyone so pulled in to turn around and park on the street (never park in the driveway, always gotta leave youself a clear trail if you gotta run). As I was pulling in my lights shine on the garage off to the side of the home, there is a young man on his knees giving a blow job to another young man. Turns out these guys are the fellas I'm picking up. The guy on his knees is the one that called, but the other guy is someone that was just walking by and the 1st guy thought he looked "tasty". (His word, not mine) So they were on the way to the first young man's home.

4) Got sent to Eagle Country Club to pick up a young lady named Lisa. I get there, she and her 2 friends get in the car bitching and complaining about them going to their new job's corporate party and none of them being old enough to drink. Their new boss wouldn't let them drink at all. "... what they don't KNOW is that I am a VETeran drinker at my age. I've been drinking longer than probably ALL of those snobs. And Oh my GOD did you see 'Old-Navy-dress-girl'?? I can't believe she wore that dress to a CORPorate dinner. How TACKy."

5) Picked up two younger fellas at the Embassy Stes downtown and took them to the airport. We got to the 'port, they paid and (like most guys that get in my car) they tell me I can just wait in the car and they'll get their luggage outta the car and close the trunk. I get out anyway and wait while they get their stuff outta the trunk.

YF1: It's ok, we can get it.

Me: That's all right, thank you but I have to make sure that one of you guys doesn't lock the other in my trunk so I have someone riding in my trunk for the rest of the morning.

YF2: That happen a lot?

Me: Not once yet, but that's only because I'm so diligent.

"Their school had the best cab driving courses in the country."

I picked up a pair of couples from The Delta a few nights ago after discussing the food they told me that the couple in back were from outta state. We discussed a few other places to go while they were in town (Noho's ... go to Noho's!!!) and then I asked where they were from. Turns out they're from Boulder, CO (where I'm from) and they're on their way to Kalispell, MT (where I lived a few years back) so we were having a good time talking about what was, what is, etc.

While we were chatting we decided to see if there was any other places we've seen/been alike.

Guy in Back: Um ... Vail, CO.

Me: Yup. Went up there from Boulder to buy some ice cream one day.

GIB: Um ... San Jose, CA.

Me: No. But I lived in Lodi, CA for a bit. Interesting town that one.

GIB: Your turn.

Me: Um ... Pendleton, OR.

GIB: No. Where's that?

Me: As close to hell as you can get without falling in. Speaking of hell ... Cheyenne, WY.

GIB: Gawd no. That's on my top 10 list of worst places in the country to live. You lived there?

Me: Yup. Lived and worked while I went to school in Laramie at the Univ.

GIB: Jesus. What in the world would make you live in Cheyenne, Wyoming?

Me: Their school had the best cab driving courses in the country.

GIB: ...

Me: Kidding. I'm kidding. Jeez.

I'm bettin' they're looking that one up as you read.