Had 4 of these guys in my cab last night. Kinda funny watching them talk around their knees. :o)
Then a little while later had a reporter from the Indiana Star or something to that effect in my cab as well.
11/28/06
11/19/06
These guys were in my cab last night ...
These are the guys from The Fray. If you're a Grey's Anatomy fan at all, you'll know who they are. Had the 2 middle guys in my car after a concert they gave here. They were coming from seeing a band at the Doug Fir, I took them back to their tour buses. They were singing Chris Cornell. :o)Famous folk in my car to date (that I know of):
The Fray (Band)
Anthony Kiedis (Band - Red Hot Chili Peppers)
2 of the guys from Maroon 5 (Band)
Ron Wyden (Politician)
David Ogden Stiers (M*A*S*H)
11/18/06
"She had better NOT leave that meter running until I get there!"
I pick up this young man (19-ish) from downtown at the Hilton 'round about 12:30a not too long ago.
Me: Howdy. How ya doin'?
He: Oh, you know.
Me: Indeed I do. Where we off to tonight?
He: Tualatin. Lower Boones Ferry exit. You know it?
Me: Yup.
He: Any ideas how much this is going to cost?
Me: I'm glad you asked before we left. I'm thinkin' $30 at the outside. That going to be a problem?
He: Nah. Long as it doesn't go over that.
Me: I'm not doin' much else, I can get you down there for $30 tops if it goes over don't worry about it.
He: Really? That's cool. YOU'RE cool. Thanks!!
Me: Not a problem. Now tell me how your night's been going and why you're downtown at almost 1a. grin
He tells me about his new job, recent ex and their child and the problems with all that. We discuss his parents, basically his entire life.
We get down to his place, apt complex, about 20 mins later. He hands me plastic.
Me: Aw hell. If you would have told me it was credit I would have called it in before we left downtown. This going to be good?
He: Yeah, that's why I couldn't go over $30, that's all I have left in the acct.
Me: OK. And I.D.? He hands it up and I run the card.
Me: Hmmmmm. No good. You got cash?
He: No. Um. Hell. I'll be right back, let me check my apt for some cash.
He runs inside. I call my dispatcher and tell him what's going on and where I am. I wrote down this young mans add and apt # when I checked his I.D. I wait about 5 minutes, get the dispatcher on the phone again and go knock on his apt door.
He: Oh ... um ... hey. I was just ... um ... checking for any cash laying around. How did you ...? Oh. The I.D. right?
Me: Yup. It seemed to me like you weren't that much of a bastard when we were talking so I wanted to give you the chance to pay me before I just called the cops. What do you have to say?
He: Um. One sec ... ok? I won't close the door. Look. I'll stand right here and make a phone call.
dial ... ring .. Um ... Mom?? I need you to ... I know it's late but I ... I know mom. I'm sorry. But I ... MOM! Listen, OK? Please. I don't know what happened, I just looked at my bank account online and it says I have the money, but I have a cab driver here saying she is going to call the police because I can't pay the cab fare down here. I don't HAVE any cash mom. Yes, she took it all when she left. Yes mom. But ... what do I tell the driver? looking at me What are my options?
Me: Well, you pay the fare or you can go to jail. That's pretty much it.
He: starting to look a little panic-y. Mom! Did you hear her? Yes. Um ... I forgot. I think it was about $29. Right? to me
Me: Well, it was when we got here, but the meter runs until I get paid. So I imagine it's gone up a few dollars since you hopped outta the car.
He: Mom?!! What do I DO?? I don't know. I can ask. to me Can I use her card?
Me: Only if she signs the slip and I can see her I.D.
He: What if she ok's it?
Me: Nope. Has to be the card member themselves that sign the slip.
He: Um ... Mom?? What now?
Me: I can drive you to them. They'll have to pay the entire fare once I get you there.
He: HA! I don't think so. They're in Salem.
Me: It's only 35 or so miles. Another ... $70 give or take. Or I can call the police now. It's kinda cold out here ... what's it going to be?
He: Mom? I don't want to go to JAIL!! Help me!! What do I do? Ok... um ... then to me She's going to drive up here and pay you, how much is it?
Me: Well ... I imagine its at about $40 now, so by the time they get here ... maybe $60 or so.
And I hear from his phone, still attached to his head, from 3 feet away "She had better NOT leave that meter running until I get there!"
Me: Whoa. Well, unfortunately that's the law. Drive careful. I am going to wait in my car. She has 40 minutes to get here then I'm making a phone call.
He: I'll wait downstairs with you so you can see that I'm legitimate.
My dispatcher had been listening to the entire conversation from my phone, he said "Or at least his MOMMY is legitimate."
I snicker and walk off to the cab. He stands downstairs twiddling his thumbs.
It takes her 35 minutes to drive the 35 odd miles. She brought her husband. Neither one were very happy to see us.
The husband gets out of her car, in his p.j.'s and comes over to the cab and hands me a credit card to pay for the fare.
I run it, it's good. $67.00. No tip. Go figure. :o)
Me: Howdy. How ya doin'?
He: Oh, you know.
Me: Indeed I do. Where we off to tonight?
He: Tualatin. Lower Boones Ferry exit. You know it?
Me: Yup.
He: Any ideas how much this is going to cost?
Me: I'm glad you asked before we left. I'm thinkin' $30 at the outside. That going to be a problem?
He: Nah. Long as it doesn't go over that.
Me: I'm not doin' much else, I can get you down there for $30 tops if it goes over don't worry about it.
He: Really? That's cool. YOU'RE cool. Thanks!!
Me: Not a problem. Now tell me how your night's been going and why you're downtown at almost 1a. grin
He tells me about his new job, recent ex and their child and the problems with all that. We discuss his parents, basically his entire life.
We get down to his place, apt complex, about 20 mins later. He hands me plastic.
Me: Aw hell. If you would have told me it was credit I would have called it in before we left downtown. This going to be good?
He: Yeah, that's why I couldn't go over $30, that's all I have left in the acct.
Me: OK. And I.D.? He hands it up and I run the card.
Me: Hmmmmm. No good. You got cash?
He: No. Um. Hell. I'll be right back, let me check my apt for some cash.
He runs inside. I call my dispatcher and tell him what's going on and where I am. I wrote down this young mans add and apt # when I checked his I.D. I wait about 5 minutes, get the dispatcher on the phone again and go knock on his apt door.
He: Oh ... um ... hey. I was just ... um ... checking for any cash laying around. How did you ...? Oh. The I.D. right?
Me: Yup. It seemed to me like you weren't that much of a bastard when we were talking so I wanted to give you the chance to pay me before I just called the cops. What do you have to say?
He: Um. One sec ... ok? I won't close the door. Look. I'll stand right here and make a phone call.
dial ... ring .. Um ... Mom?? I need you to ... I know it's late but I ... I know mom. I'm sorry. But I ... MOM! Listen, OK? Please. I don't know what happened, I just looked at my bank account online and it says I have the money, but I have a cab driver here saying she is going to call the police because I can't pay the cab fare down here. I don't HAVE any cash mom. Yes, she took it all when she left. Yes mom. But ... what do I tell the driver? looking at me What are my options?
Me: Well, you pay the fare or you can go to jail. That's pretty much it.
He: starting to look a little panic-y. Mom! Did you hear her? Yes. Um ... I forgot. I think it was about $29. Right? to me
Me: Well, it was when we got here, but the meter runs until I get paid. So I imagine it's gone up a few dollars since you hopped outta the car.
He: Mom?!! What do I DO?? I don't know. I can ask. to me Can I use her card?
Me: Only if she signs the slip and I can see her I.D.
He: What if she ok's it?
Me: Nope. Has to be the card member themselves that sign the slip.
He: Um ... Mom?? What now?
Me: I can drive you to them. They'll have to pay the entire fare once I get you there.
He: HA! I don't think so. They're in Salem.
Me: It's only 35 or so miles. Another ... $70 give or take. Or I can call the police now. It's kinda cold out here ... what's it going to be?
He: Mom? I don't want to go to JAIL!! Help me!! What do I do? Ok... um ... then to me She's going to drive up here and pay you, how much is it?
Me: Well ... I imagine its at about $40 now, so by the time they get here ... maybe $60 or so.
And I hear from his phone, still attached to his head, from 3 feet away "She had better NOT leave that meter running until I get there!"
Me: Whoa. Well, unfortunately that's the law. Drive careful. I am going to wait in my car. She has 40 minutes to get here then I'm making a phone call.
He: I'll wait downstairs with you so you can see that I'm legitimate.
My dispatcher had been listening to the entire conversation from my phone, he said "Or at least his MOMMY is legitimate."
I snicker and walk off to the cab. He stands downstairs twiddling his thumbs.
It takes her 35 minutes to drive the 35 odd miles. She brought her husband. Neither one were very happy to see us.
The husband gets out of her car, in his p.j.'s and comes over to the cab and hands me a credit card to pay for the fare.
I run it, it's good. $67.00. No tip. Go figure. :o)
10/24/06
My robbery.
Edited
Pick up this REALLY cute guy down the street from one of the nicer clubs in town - Aura, at about 1:30a one Saturday. He hops in front with me.
Me: Hi there. How ya doin?
He: Not so hot. I'm fighting with my girl.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. Am I taking you home?
He: Nah. I have a couple of friends downtown ... somewhere.
Me: "Somewhere"? So you just wanna drive around and look for them? *grin*
He: Do you mind?
Me: I was just kidding. But no, I don't mind. Any ideas which area?
He: I think they're supposed to be down by Bar 71.
Me: Parking down there is at a premium, shouldn't be too hard to find 'em. Unless they're in a parking lot. Then we might be outta luck.
He: It's all right. I don't mind driving around. Just head down that way and I'll look for his car.
Me: All right.
long story short: As we were driving around we chatted about his girlfriend, his friends, basically lfie in general. The whole time I'm stealing looks at him sitting next to me 'cuz this boy is cute! I mean, young Brad Pitt kind of cute.
We pull around to a parking lot by 2nd NW Everett.
He: Hey, pull down this street! I think I see his car, right over there. He points to the right.
Me: OK, which one is it?
He: What say you just give me your money? *grin*
Me: dazzled by this boy's cute smile What say I don't!
He: glances down What say you DO.
Me: looking down and seeing a gun in his hand, pointed at me. Well shit. I'm guessing you don't see your friends car, huh?
He: You're kind of funny. I'm sorry to do this, but I need you to give me your money. I don't want to kill you.
Me: digging in my pocket Well, I'm glad to hear you don't WANT to kill me. Here ya go.
He: looking at what I gave him. This is it? $15.00?? Bullshit. Where's the rest?
Me: Hey now, I just started for the night. I haven't made anything yet. That's my change pack. It's all I have, really.
He: Bull SHIT!! I KNOW you cab drivers carry more than this on you! I've SEEN it!
Me: Not me. I deposit my money as soon as I get it ... in case I get robbed. Ya know?
He: getting a little twitchy now, looking around Give me your damned credit card!!
Me: digging again OK. Here it is. But it's a deposit only card. Just in case. *shrug*
He: getting more upset, puts the gun against my forehead You had better tell me where all your money is, and RIGHT NOW! No more jokes. No more fucking around. Where is it?!!
Me: Hey, come on now. I just started. Look, here's my log sheet, I have nothing on it.
He: grabs the log sheet from me and throws it in the back seat. DAMN IT!!
Me: Just looking at him.
He: FUCK! Don't move.
Me: not moving.
He: reaching over and opening his door. You're lucky.
Me: I feel that way. You go that way, I'll go this way, whatcha say?
He: Have a nice day!! and he hops out and runs to the left.
I turn right, going the wrong way down a one way street, very fast! I pull over 3 blocks later at the Amtrak station (it's the most well lit place around that's open, and I've gotten to know some of the security guards there pretty well). I get on the radio and tell my dispatcher what happened, he calls the p.d. while I'm on the radio, I have to give a description so they can drive around the immediate vicinity and see if they can spot the guy.
The dispatcher tells me they will be there when they're done checking the area as long as I'm in a safe place, unless I want one there right away. I'm all right where I am. I sit in my car and write down what happened, as I remembered it and drew a sketch of the guy (sketch at end of this entry).
A p.d. car shows up with 2 officers. They ask me to describe what happened. I tell them what I remembered, then described what he was wearing.
Me: Oh, and I drew a picture of him. I draw. Here.
They look at it, then at me. Then one officer looks at his partner and they start whispering behind their hands to each other.
Me: What?
Right then, one of our other drivers drove up. The dispatcher called him and asked him to drive over and check on me.
Ron: parked and got out of his car. Are you OK?
Me: started BAWLING!!! big, ol' ugly tears. Not pretty.
He put his arms around me and I just lost it. (Poor guy just started 2 days before this :o)
The officers walk off and talk for a minute, then come back after I've calmed down a bit.
Me: All right, what were you guys whispering about?
Well, turns out that someone that matches this guys description, EXACTLY, killed 2 people at the bar close to where I picked him up at, just a week before that. Just walked into the bar and started shooting.
Me: *blink* Ummm .... *blink* Are you shitting me?
True Story. I freaked. Had to go home. Ron followed me all the way to make sure I made it ok.
Next morning, at about 7a, I get a call from an officer downtown saying they had a young man in custody that looked like my sketch and they wanted me to come down in the afternoon and do a line up at about noon.
At about 11a I get a call from the detective in charge of the case. He says I can't come down and do a line up because they would rather I did a police sketch artist first. I was a good artist and all, but they couldn't use my sketch. Had to be someone that could go to court and testify.
Fine. He gave me the number of the sketch artist detective and asked that I call her. I did. Set up an appt for later that afternoon.
I went in about 2p and met with her. She was really cool, and -understandably- incredibly calm. All she asked was that I describe to her what had happened, then what he was wearing. She took notes. Explained that what she did was take notes, I would come back in another day or two and she would have a picture for me to look at and we could refine it from there. I asked about the guy in custody, she said they had to let him go, he wasn't the guy. Apparently he was in jail at the time I got arrested.
After I finished up with her I took my sketch down to Kinkos and made a hundred copies. I took them to the 2 largest cab companies here and told them what happened and to pass out the pictures. Turns out I was too late. This same guy (according to other driver) robbed him at gun point at about 2p that day. AND THEN he robbed a cab driver from the other largest company in town about 18 hours after that one, and this time he had another guy with him. Everyone was speculating that he was starting a career.
I went back to the detective 2 days later, we refined the sketch and talked a bit. When we finished she pulled out the sketch that I drew. It was pretty close. She said she hadn't looked at it because she couldn't be influenced by what I had drawn. I gotta tell ya, I was INCREDIBLY impressed with her being able to draw just from what I had described. I can draw just about anything, but there's no way I could do what she does, it really was amazing.
We finished, she said she would give it to the detective in charge and they would call me when they knew something.
I called back 2 days after that, they still hadn't caught the guy. And I never heard from them again.
Interestingly enough, this never made the news, although everyone (at least the cabbies) was talking about it, and spread the word. Almost all of my sketch copies were in cabs for quite some time after that.
One good thing did come out of this. A year before I got robbed, the city cab commission had doubled the rate of our cab licenses because they said they were going to put cameras in our cabs but hadn't gotten around to finding a night-compatible camera that would work. (Hell, if they can base an entire series on HBO with those things you'd think they could find something that would work.) But not long after this happened to me they had a meeting and decided they had to find some. Now it's mandatory to have working cameras in our cabs.
As it stands, I have the dubious honor of being the only female cab driver in Ptld to get robbed at gun point.
This happened August of 2004, and only 1.5 weeks after I bought my cab. We had approximately 45 women (of a total of about 1,200) cabbies in Portland when this happened. Now we have less than 15, and - near as I can tell - only 4 of them drive nights.
10/18/06
"Don't air our business in front of the CAB DRIVER FOR CRISSAKES! Just pay her before the neighbors see her out there!"
Got dispatched to a call to pick up this fairly young looking man late Saturday/early Sunday and took him from the east side o' the river to the west in Lake Oswego. It was about a 20 minute ride and we chatted about all kinds of things on the way. Pretty amusing conversationalist.
He: OK. Hold on a second. I have to go in the house to get my money.
Me: Ah. You aren't going to pay me are you?
He: WHAT? Of course I am. Why do you say that?
Me: Because every time I get someone to where they're going and they say 'I have to go in the house to get my money' something always happens and somehow they don't have it.
He: Man. It must suck to have your job. So many flakes out there. NO. I'm straight up. I'll be right back ... with cash. I promise.
Me: mmmm hm. I'll wait right here. You have 3 minutes then I'm calling the cops. Just so you know. *grin*
He: Wow. So untrusting. That's sad.
Me: What's sad is that so far I'm batting a thousand with this particular situation. It would be nice if the city would allow us to ask if a body actually HAS the money when they get in the car to pay for their fare, but they won't let us. They say that everyone KNOWS when they get in a cab that they are paying for a service and we call the police if you don't pay. One of the many reasons why they put cameras in our cabs. So. See you in ... 3 minutes ... right?! *grin*
He: Of course you will. I'm not one of those people that swindle people out of their money. I have a business I run. You can trust me. I'll be right back.
I wait for a few minutes. I call my dispatcher on the phone and tell him the situation and the address of where I am, just in case, and am still talking to him when the young man comes back out of the house and gets in the car.
He: I am so sorry, but my sister took my money.
Me: just staring at him
He: Really. She does this all the time. She knows where I keep my money and goes in there and gets it sometimes.
Me: Ah. And I thought you were going to surprise me here and do the right thing. Can't you go wake her and get your money?
He: No. She went out.
Dispatcher: You want me to call the police now? in my earpiece
Me: No, not yet. Let me see if he has some other form of payment.
He: You take cards right?
Me: Yup. As long as it's good.
He: Of course it's good. Um. It won't clear until Monday right?
Me: No. It's going to clear before I leave your house.
He: Well. Um. It won't be good until Monday.
Me: Not good enough. OK J, call the police. to the dispatcher
He: Wait a minute here. Really. I am being straight with you here. If you let me go until Monday I'll tip you large to wait. I'm not kidding. This is the account I run my business out of. I'm being honest here. etc etc about the sister.
Disp: Well, whaddaya think? You gonna do it?
Me: All right. But only so you know, if this isn't good by Monday I'm calling the police to come here, to your house and arrest you.
He: No problem. You won't have to do that. I promise. It'll be good.
Me: Don't promise me. We tried that. yup. you get jaded driving a cab.
He: Wow, thank you soooo much etc etc
Disp: I can't believe you're going to do this.
Me: I know. Gawd. I'll call you back.
So the kid gets out of the car. I head on my way. Call the disp. back and we chat until I have to go do something else.
Monday comes, card is no good by late in the afternoon. I call the kids cell phone.
Me: Hey Brooke?
He: Yeah. Who's this?
Me: This is your cab driver from last night. Your card isn't good.
He: Hey. What?? No way. I JUST used it. Can you run it again?
Me: Nope. It's been ran 2X. No good. What are you going to do about it?
He: I'll get cash. I'm going to be out of town tonight with my folks, can I hook up with you first thing in the morning when we get back and I'll give you the cash. I'm really sorry.
Me: I won't be around during the day, but the guy that drives my car will be downtown all day tomorrow, how about you hook up with him and give it to him to give me.
We work out the particulars, etc etc.
Tues: Card is still no good, he never contacted my driver and now isn't answering his phone. Go figure.
Me: I call his vm and leave a message. Hey. This is your cab driver. I just wanted to give you one last chance before I call the police. It's 6p now. I'm heading over to your house and will call them from there. Just letting you know.
He calls me back about 5 minutes later.
He: Hey. Sorry, I was on the other line. I'll be here. At home, when you show. I'm really sorry about that. I'll see you in about 1/2 hr right?
Me: Probably closer to an hour. But I'll be there.
I drive over there. Knock on the door. His Dad answers the door.
Me: Hi. Is Stephen around?
Dad: No. He just took off. and just gives me that look like 'what do you want?'
Me: My name is ... and I tell him the whole story.
He has a cell phone in his hand, picks it up and calls his wife.
Dad: Hello. It's me. I have a young lady here says she's a cab driver and that Stephen gave her a bad credit card after telling her some bullshit story about his fake sister taking his money.
Mom: I can hear her over his phone. AGAIN????!! God DAMN it!!
Dad: This has got to stop Patty.
Mom: Don't air our business in front of the CAB DRIVER FOR CRISSAKES!! Just pay her before the neighbors see her out there!! This is a pretty affluent neighborhood.
Me: *smiling*
Dad: Patty, we ...
Mom: PAY HER DAMN IT! I'LL DEAL WITH IT WHEN I GET HOME. and she hangs up on him.
Me: I'm really sorry, I hate doing this kind of stuff. I told him I was going to call the police, so he had plenty of warning. Sorry to disturb your night like this.
Dad: It's not you. I'm sorry he did this, again. Damn kid needs to learn some damned sense. He's been doing this for years. He's 32 years old. We just married 4 years ago and I've been having problems with him ever since.
Me: Really? Wow. He didn't look that old.
Dad: That's why his mom lets him get away with it. Anyway. I don't have that kind of cash on me. Will you take a credit card?
Me: Well ...
Dad: Dont' worry. MY card is good.
Me: Ok. I need to run it in the car.
We take care of business.
Dad: I'm really sorry you had to deal with this.
Me: Ya know, I could always give you your card back and I could call the police anyway. It sounds like he needs a little ... help.
Dad: You know what? If I hadn't already told his mother I'd pay you then I probably would. Thank you. You seem like a nice enough woman, might I suggest you think about another line of work?
Me: Thank you for that. I'm not that nice. *grin* You seem like a nice enough gentleman, might I suggest some family counseling to get rid of the 'adult child that is still living at home and sponging off the family?'
Dad: Touche. Good evening.
Me: You too.
He: OK. Hold on a second. I have to go in the house to get my money.
Me: Ah. You aren't going to pay me are you?
He: WHAT? Of course I am. Why do you say that?
Me: Because every time I get someone to where they're going and they say 'I have to go in the house to get my money' something always happens and somehow they don't have it.
He: Man. It must suck to have your job. So many flakes out there. NO. I'm straight up. I'll be right back ... with cash. I promise.
Me: mmmm hm. I'll wait right here. You have 3 minutes then I'm calling the cops. Just so you know. *grin*
He: Wow. So untrusting. That's sad.
Me: What's sad is that so far I'm batting a thousand with this particular situation. It would be nice if the city would allow us to ask if a body actually HAS the money when they get in the car to pay for their fare, but they won't let us. They say that everyone KNOWS when they get in a cab that they are paying for a service and we call the police if you don't pay. One of the many reasons why they put cameras in our cabs. So. See you in ... 3 minutes ... right?! *grin*
He: Of course you will. I'm not one of those people that swindle people out of their money. I have a business I run. You can trust me. I'll be right back.
I wait for a few minutes. I call my dispatcher on the phone and tell him the situation and the address of where I am, just in case, and am still talking to him when the young man comes back out of the house and gets in the car.
He: I am so sorry, but my sister took my money.
Me: just staring at him
He: Really. She does this all the time. She knows where I keep my money and goes in there and gets it sometimes.
Me: Ah. And I thought you were going to surprise me here and do the right thing. Can't you go wake her and get your money?
He: No. She went out.
Dispatcher: You want me to call the police now? in my earpiece
Me: No, not yet. Let me see if he has some other form of payment.
He: You take cards right?
Me: Yup. As long as it's good.
He: Of course it's good. Um. It won't clear until Monday right?
Me: No. It's going to clear before I leave your house.
He: Well. Um. It won't be good until Monday.
Me: Not good enough. OK J, call the police. to the dispatcher
He: Wait a minute here. Really. I am being straight with you here. If you let me go until Monday I'll tip you large to wait. I'm not kidding. This is the account I run my business out of. I'm being honest here. etc etc about the sister.
Disp: Well, whaddaya think? You gonna do it?
Me: All right. But only so you know, if this isn't good by Monday I'm calling the police to come here, to your house and arrest you.
He: No problem. You won't have to do that. I promise. It'll be good.
Me: Don't promise me. We tried that. yup. you get jaded driving a cab.
He: Wow, thank you soooo much etc etc
Disp: I can't believe you're going to do this.
Me: I know. Gawd. I'll call you back.
So the kid gets out of the car. I head on my way. Call the disp. back and we chat until I have to go do something else.
Monday comes, card is no good by late in the afternoon. I call the kids cell phone.
Me: Hey Brooke?
He: Yeah. Who's this?
Me: This is your cab driver from last night. Your card isn't good.
He: Hey. What?? No way. I JUST used it. Can you run it again?
Me: Nope. It's been ran 2X. No good. What are you going to do about it?
He: I'll get cash. I'm going to be out of town tonight with my folks, can I hook up with you first thing in the morning when we get back and I'll give you the cash. I'm really sorry.
Me: I won't be around during the day, but the guy that drives my car will be downtown all day tomorrow, how about you hook up with him and give it to him to give me.
We work out the particulars, etc etc.
Tues: Card is still no good, he never contacted my driver and now isn't answering his phone. Go figure.
Me: I call his vm and leave a message. Hey. This is your cab driver. I just wanted to give you one last chance before I call the police. It's 6p now. I'm heading over to your house and will call them from there. Just letting you know.
He calls me back about 5 minutes later.
He: Hey. Sorry, I was on the other line. I'll be here. At home, when you show. I'm really sorry about that. I'll see you in about 1/2 hr right?
Me: Probably closer to an hour. But I'll be there.
I drive over there. Knock on the door. His Dad answers the door.
Me: Hi. Is Stephen around?
Dad: No. He just took off. and just gives me that look like 'what do you want?'
Me: My name is ... and I tell him the whole story.
He has a cell phone in his hand, picks it up and calls his wife.
Dad: Hello. It's me. I have a young lady here says she's a cab driver and that Stephen gave her a bad credit card after telling her some bullshit story about his fake sister taking his money.
Mom: I can hear her over his phone. AGAIN????!! God DAMN it!!
Dad: This has got to stop Patty.
Mom: Don't air our business in front of the CAB DRIVER FOR CRISSAKES!! Just pay her before the neighbors see her out there!! This is a pretty affluent neighborhood.
Me: *smiling*
Dad: Patty, we ...
Mom: PAY HER DAMN IT! I'LL DEAL WITH IT WHEN I GET HOME. and she hangs up on him.
Me: I'm really sorry, I hate doing this kind of stuff. I told him I was going to call the police, so he had plenty of warning. Sorry to disturb your night like this.
Dad: It's not you. I'm sorry he did this, again. Damn kid needs to learn some damned sense. He's been doing this for years. He's 32 years old. We just married 4 years ago and I've been having problems with him ever since.
Me: Really? Wow. He didn't look that old.
Dad: That's why his mom lets him get away with it. Anyway. I don't have that kind of cash on me. Will you take a credit card?
Me: Well ...
Dad: Dont' worry. MY card is good.
Me: Ok. I need to run it in the car.
We take care of business.
Dad: I'm really sorry you had to deal with this.
Me: Ya know, I could always give you your card back and I could call the police anyway. It sounds like he needs a little ... help.
Dad: You know what? If I hadn't already told his mother I'd pay you then I probably would. Thank you. You seem like a nice enough woman, might I suggest you think about another line of work?
Me: Thank you for that. I'm not that nice. *grin* You seem like a nice enough gentleman, might I suggest some family counseling to get rid of the 'adult child that is still living at home and sponging off the family?'
Dad: Touche. Good evening.
Me: You too.
10/10/06
"I need to know your # in case I can't find anyone better to fuck tonight."
I pick up these 2 young, fairly respectable looking men from Mary's, a tiny little strip joint downtown that - for whatever reason - seems to be where everyone has to go when they come to Ptld. Rumor has it the women have been working there since it opened ... in the 70's. I've only been in there once. Scared the bejesus outta me! They both jump in back, it's 2:30a.
Little Punk1: Hey baby. We're going to the Doug Fir. Here's my credit card. He throws it in my general direction. You know where that is?
Me: Yup.
We start heading around the block, if you've never been, downtown Ptld is all one way streets, as the Doug Fir is just across the Burnside bridge ... a total of 15 blocks across the bridge: 7 blocks this side, 8 the other.
LP1: Hey baby, do you mind if I jump up front with you here? He asks, by the time he says "mind" he is already in the front seat, and we've only gone 3 blocks. Thanks babe. How you doin' tonight?
Me: I'm ...
LP1: OH SHIT!! Pull over!! Quick!! I know these girls!! I pull over next to 2 young ladies walking up the street. Hey girls! How you doing tonight? They step up to the car. I need some help if you would, please?
Girl1: Hi there! You're cute. giggle What can we do for you?
LP1: I need to know your number so I can call you if I can't find someone better to fuck tonight.
Me: blink
G1: WHAT did you say?
LP1: What I SAID was that if I can NOT find any better pussy tonight then I would like to have you as back up to suck. my. dick. Did you understand THAT?
Me: eyeroll and blink
G1: who, incidentally, hasn't walked off yet Ummmm. I don't think so. and then she giggles to her friend. I wanna slap 'em both. Hell, all 3 of them.
LP1: Well. What do you think of THIS? And the shithead picks his narrow ass up off the seat, unzips his pants and shows his dick to the girls out the window. You want this. Right?
G1: I don't THINK so. and NOW they walk off.
LP1: sits back down in the seat, w/out zipping up then So Cabbie, what do YOU think?
Me: I think you should zip up before you embarrass yourself.
LP2: Hell. He does this all the time. He doesn't embarrass.
We get stuck at a light.
LP1: Looks at me Well. Really? What do you think?
Me: I think it must be cold in here. Let me roll up the window for you Junior.
LP2: laughing hysterically She's got YOUR number man!
LP1: narrows his eyes No. Really. Tell me what you think.
Me: I THINK you should zip up your pants before I have to charge you extra for an obscenity charge.
LP1: You wouldn't do that. Here. Touch it. and the little bastard actually tried to grab my hand!!
Me: Hey now!! Don't touch the driver. What's wrong with you?!!
LP1: No really. It gets bigger if you touch it. Look. and he tried AGAIN to touch me.
Me: snatching my hand away. Really. Don't. Touch. Me.
LP1: Shit. You're gonna charge me extra for an "obscenity charge" huh? How much?
Me: What sounds fair? Fifty bucks?
Lp1: Shit. You could charge me that every day for the rest of your life and never get all my money. My daddy is rich.
Me: Whatever. Just don't touch me again.
LP1: Really. My daddy is rich.
Me: I. don't. care. Just don't touch me again or your rich daddy is gonna hafta come bail your stupid, drunk ass outta jail. GOT. IT.?
LP2: Man. Remember what your dad said about if this happened again?
LP1: She won't call the cops on me. She can't prove anything anyway.
Me: What do you think we got cameras in these cars for, Junior?
LP1: STOP CALLING ME 'JUNIOR', DAMN IT! then looking at the camera. Well. I won't pay you. You can't make me.
Me: Then I WILL have y0u arrested, JUNIOR. Besides, you already gave me your credit card. We only have 2 blocks to go. Just shut the hell up and zip up your pants. You're pathetic.
He zips up and doesn't say anything until we get there. I pull over, run his card, and put in the 'description' "Cab Fare and Obscenity Charge". He gets out of the car and grabs the clipboard from me through the window to sign his card copy. Then he throws the clipboard at me and walks off.
LP2: I'm really sorry about my friend. He gets stupid every time we get drunk and in a cab. I think he was just worse tonight because you're a woman.
Me: Yeah. Whatever. You might want to rethink your friendship.
A couple of people walk up and get into the cab so he walks off. They as me what happened, why that guy threw the clipboard at me. I tell them and we laugh the whole way to their house.
I call my bf and tell him the story. He laughs, then says "You shoulda stun gunned him in the balls! I bet THAT would have gotten his attention."
Little Punk1: Hey baby. We're going to the Doug Fir. Here's my credit card. He throws it in my general direction. You know where that is?
Me: Yup.
We start heading around the block, if you've never been, downtown Ptld is all one way streets, as the Doug Fir is just across the Burnside bridge ... a total of 15 blocks across the bridge: 7 blocks this side, 8 the other.
LP1: Hey baby, do you mind if I jump up front with you here? He asks, by the time he says "mind" he is already in the front seat, and we've only gone 3 blocks. Thanks babe. How you doin' tonight?
Me: I'm ...
LP1: OH SHIT!! Pull over!! Quick!! I know these girls!! I pull over next to 2 young ladies walking up the street. Hey girls! How you doing tonight? They step up to the car. I need some help if you would, please?
Girl1: Hi there! You're cute. giggle What can we do for you?
LP1: I need to know your number so I can call you if I can't find someone better to fuck tonight.
Me: blink
G1: WHAT did you say?
LP1: What I SAID was that if I can NOT find any better pussy tonight then I would like to have you as back up to suck. my. dick. Did you understand THAT?
Me: eyeroll and blink
G1: who, incidentally, hasn't walked off yet Ummmm. I don't think so. and then she giggles to her friend. I wanna slap 'em both. Hell, all 3 of them.
LP1: Well. What do you think of THIS? And the shithead picks his narrow ass up off the seat, unzips his pants and shows his dick to the girls out the window. You want this. Right?
G1: I don't THINK so. and NOW they walk off.
LP1: sits back down in the seat, w/out zipping up then So Cabbie, what do YOU think?
Me: I think you should zip up before you embarrass yourself.
LP2: Hell. He does this all the time. He doesn't embarrass.
We get stuck at a light.
LP1: Looks at me Well. Really? What do you think?
Me: I think it must be cold in here. Let me roll up the window for you Junior.
LP2: laughing hysterically She's got YOUR number man!
LP1: narrows his eyes No. Really. Tell me what you think.
Me: I THINK you should zip up your pants before I have to charge you extra for an obscenity charge.
LP1: You wouldn't do that. Here. Touch it. and the little bastard actually tried to grab my hand!!
Me: Hey now!! Don't touch the driver. What's wrong with you?!!
LP1: No really. It gets bigger if you touch it. Look. and he tried AGAIN to touch me.
Me: snatching my hand away. Really. Don't. Touch. Me.
LP1: Shit. You're gonna charge me extra for an "obscenity charge" huh? How much?
Me: What sounds fair? Fifty bucks?
Lp1: Shit. You could charge me that every day for the rest of your life and never get all my money. My daddy is rich.
Me: Whatever. Just don't touch me again.
LP1: Really. My daddy is rich.
Me: I. don't. care. Just don't touch me again or your rich daddy is gonna hafta come bail your stupid, drunk ass outta jail. GOT. IT.?
LP2: Man. Remember what your dad said about if this happened again?
LP1: She won't call the cops on me. She can't prove anything anyway.
Me: What do you think we got cameras in these cars for, Junior?
LP1: STOP CALLING ME 'JUNIOR', DAMN IT! then looking at the camera. Well. I won't pay you. You can't make me.
Me: Then I WILL have y0u arrested, JUNIOR. Besides, you already gave me your credit card. We only have 2 blocks to go. Just shut the hell up and zip up your pants. You're pathetic.
He zips up and doesn't say anything until we get there. I pull over, run his card, and put in the 'description' "Cab Fare and Obscenity Charge". He gets out of the car and grabs the clipboard from me through the window to sign his card copy. Then he throws the clipboard at me and walks off.
LP2: I'm really sorry about my friend. He gets stupid every time we get drunk and in a cab. I think he was just worse tonight because you're a woman.
Me: Yeah. Whatever. You might want to rethink your friendship.
A couple of people walk up and get into the cab so he walks off. They as me what happened, why that guy threw the clipboard at me. I tell them and we laugh the whole way to their house.
I call my bf and tell him the story. He laughs, then says "You shoulda stun gunned him in the balls! I bet THAT would have gotten his attention."
9/22/06
"And my name is Rainn, but I'm the straight one"
I get sent to Embers, a drag show club at about 2:30a. I am talking to our dispatcher on the phone to get a name when a young girl comes up to the passenger side of the car. She's wearing a wifebeater, cut off jeans at the knees, big, black boots and has a bandana on her head. I'm instantly scared. Before I roll down the window I tell the dispatcher "Whoa! This girl is ScaaaaAAaareee!! I'll call you back and tell you about this one!"
I roll down the window as she struts up.
Me: Hi there. Are you who I'm looking for?
She: Hi. Yup. You waiting for Ashley?
Me: Yes ma'am. Ya ready to go?
She: One sec, I got 2 friends with me.
She gets in and scoots over behind me, the 2 others get in and I get their address and we're off.
She1: Ha! You get to ride bitch! She says to the girl in the middle.
Me: Hey now! We just met ... no one gets to ride me without cash up front.
They all crack up. The ice has been broken.
She1: Hey girl! Right on. What's your name?
Me: M
She2: sitting at other window My name is Liz.
Me: Hi Liz.
She3: in the middle And my name is Rainn. But I'm the straight one here. She thinks about it for a second Although I have slept with both of these guys.
Me: Well then technically, that doesn't really make you straight, right?!
She1: Shit girl, you're hilarious! I like that in a woman ... are you ... ?
Me: Eeeeasy now. Don't let the ball cap fool ya doll.
She1: Shit. Doesn't hurt to ask now does it? I still think you're funny. Rainn, I've been meaning to ask you, what did you think of the night we spent together?
She3: What do you mean, 'what did I think of it'?
She1: Just what I said. What did you think?
She3: Well, I've been thinking of that night a lot lately. And really, I think it was, maybe one of the best nights I've had, sexually, in awhile.
She1: What do you mean, 'maybe one of the best'?
She3: Well, top 3 at least.
She1: I can live with that. Maybe I'll just have to try harder next time.
She3: There won't be a next time, I told you that last time.
She1: Oh yes, there will be.
She2: Hey now, what about OUR night together? I mean, yeah, that dude was there, but you didn't enjoy our night together too?
She3: Oh yeah. What WAS that guys name? Didn't we meet him that night?
She1: I just don't get it. Why would you want a guy when you have me, I got a strap on that stays hard all night compared to guys. I mean, shit! M, you know what I'm saying here, right?!
Me: Oh no. I make it a point to not get into any arguments in my car. But most especially with lesbians, you girls don't fight fair.
She1: Sheeit girl. I knew I liked you. If you ever wanna change sides, you let me know.
Me: Trust me, you'll be the FIRST to know. Here you are ladies, home safe and sound.
I roll down the window as she struts up.
Me: Hi there. Are you who I'm looking for?
She: Hi. Yup. You waiting for Ashley?
Me: Yes ma'am. Ya ready to go?
She: One sec, I got 2 friends with me.
She gets in and scoots over behind me, the 2 others get in and I get their address and we're off.
She1: Ha! You get to ride bitch! She says to the girl in the middle.
Me: Hey now! We just met ... no one gets to ride me without cash up front.
They all crack up. The ice has been broken.
She1: Hey girl! Right on. What's your name?
Me: M
She2: sitting at other window My name is Liz.
Me: Hi Liz.
She3: in the middle And my name is Rainn. But I'm the straight one here. She thinks about it for a second Although I have slept with both of these guys.
Me: Well then technically, that doesn't really make you straight, right?!
She1: Shit girl, you're hilarious! I like that in a woman ... are you ... ?
Me: Eeeeasy now. Don't let the ball cap fool ya doll.
She1: Shit. Doesn't hurt to ask now does it? I still think you're funny. Rainn, I've been meaning to ask you, what did you think of the night we spent together?
She3: What do you mean, 'what did I think of it'?
She1: Just what I said. What did you think?
She3: Well, I've been thinking of that night a lot lately. And really, I think it was, maybe one of the best nights I've had, sexually, in awhile.
She1: What do you mean, 'maybe one of the best'?
She3: Well, top 3 at least.
She1: I can live with that. Maybe I'll just have to try harder next time.
She3: There won't be a next time, I told you that last time.
She1: Oh yes, there will be.
She2: Hey now, what about OUR night together? I mean, yeah, that dude was there, but you didn't enjoy our night together too?
She3: Oh yeah. What WAS that guys name? Didn't we meet him that night?
She1: I just don't get it. Why would you want a guy when you have me, I got a strap on that stays hard all night compared to guys. I mean, shit! M, you know what I'm saying here, right?!
Me: Oh no. I make it a point to not get into any arguments in my car. But most especially with lesbians, you girls don't fight fair.
She1: Sheeit girl. I knew I liked you. If you ever wanna change sides, you let me know.
Me: Trust me, you'll be the FIRST to know. Here you are ladies, home safe and sound.
"Can you play any music less GAY than this?"
I'm just passing this one along because it amused me ...
As I drive by a gay bar in town called CC Slaughters I get hailed by a gent standing there. He hops in and we're off to outer se Ptld.
After about 1.5 minutes we're already trading horror stories from our 'travels' ... I'm telling him about a gay guy I picked up that was very graphically adamant about the fact that since I wore a baseball cap I was a lesbian.
He is a DJ at the bar I just picked him up from.
He: I tell you what I love is the straight guys that come in here with their girlfriends and don't realize right away that they're in a gay bar. I tell you, one time we had this cute little hottie come in and walked up to me and the bouncer next to me, who happens to be the only straight bouncer we have, and said to me "Dude, do you think you could play some music that's less GAY than this?"
After about 30 seconds of just staring at him I said "Could you BE any less clueless?" ... he stared at me for a few seconds. I said "Dude, look at the walls." He looked up and FInally realized that we had gay porn playing on the screens on the walls and I said "I could not play anything less gay than THAT."
He got this scared look in his eye and said "Wow. I think it's time for me to leave."
And I said, completely serious, "And you'd better run because we haven't met our quota this month."
He just kinda screamed and ran for the door. Me and the bouncer laughed for hours about him.
As I drive by a gay bar in town called CC Slaughters I get hailed by a gent standing there. He hops in and we're off to outer se Ptld.
After about 1.5 minutes we're already trading horror stories from our 'travels' ... I'm telling him about a gay guy I picked up that was very graphically adamant about the fact that since I wore a baseball cap I was a lesbian.
He is a DJ at the bar I just picked him up from.
He: I tell you what I love is the straight guys that come in here with their girlfriends and don't realize right away that they're in a gay bar. I tell you, one time we had this cute little hottie come in and walked up to me and the bouncer next to me, who happens to be the only straight bouncer we have, and said to me "Dude, do you think you could play some music that's less GAY than this?"
After about 30 seconds of just staring at him I said "Could you BE any less clueless?" ... he stared at me for a few seconds. I said "Dude, look at the walls." He looked up and FInally realized that we had gay porn playing on the screens on the walls and I said "I could not play anything less gay than THAT."
He got this scared look in his eye and said "Wow. I think it's time for me to leave."
And I said, completely serious, "And you'd better run because we haven't met our quota this month."
He just kinda screamed and ran for the door. Me and the bouncer laughed for hours about him.
9/8/06
"Well hell, I'LL tell you ya got a big dick for 600 dollars!"
I picked up a guy from Aja's downtown - a late night "private exotic show" kinda place. He called the cab co. and requested a cab at 4a when they closed.
Me: Hiya. How's it goin'?
He: Oh God. I'm gonna be in soooo much trouble.
Me: Uh oh. Wanna tell me where you're going first and then I'll let ya pour it all out. Bartenders and Cab drivers are somewhat synonymous at this time o' night.
He told me where we were going, a very affluent neighborhood right off downtown in the West Hills. Not that far, but a nice area with a killer view.
Me: And we're off. So what happened?
He: shaking head Oh Gawd! I can't believe it!!
Me: Come on now, you know you wanna tell me. What happened? Lose a little too much money?
He: 'A little too much'???!! I gave that girl $600.00!!!
Me: Are you SHITTING ME?!! Damn. She must have been GOOOD. Aja's has a rep. as being a ... full service dance club ... after hours.
He just kinda hung his head lower.
Me: You didn't get any? WHAT? Did you get blown? he starts shaking his head. NO? Wow. No sex? shake. No blow job? shake. Did she at least rotate your tires or SOMEthing? shake. Wow. I'm in the wrong business!
He just kinda looks at me stupidly.
Me: I mean, damn. I wish I could make 600 bucks for doing nothing more than shaking my ass for ... what ... a few hours? nod. Wow. She's smarter than you or I will ever be bubba.
He just sits there as we drive along. He's almost crying now. I almost feel bad but DAMN, someone needs to say it!
Me: SoooOOOOoooo. What'd she do to earn 600 bucks? C'mon now, 'fess up. What happened?
He: Well ... she ... ahem ... she did ... you know ... that thing that women do that make men stupid.
Me: Um ... birth you?!
He: Shit. YOU know.
Me: OH. She told you that you got a big dick, right?
He sorta nods.
Me: And that was worth 600 DOLLARS?! DUDE. What the FUCK were you thinking? it's called "tact". I've never heard of it.
He: Hell. I don't know. I just thought ... well ... she was so cute. I mean, she kinda looked like you, with the long hair and all.
Me: Well hell, I'd certainly tell you ya got a big dick for 600 dollars.
He: Um ... really?
Me: Hell yeah. If you're gonna be stupid and just give it away and that's all I gotta do, you betcher sweet bippie I would.
He: Huh. Well. Go ahead.
Me: And what? Tell you? nod. Puh leeze. I betcha gave her all your money.
He: Well, not ALL of it. I'll give you what I have in my pocket if you tell me.
Me: Whoa. You need some help.
He: Please?
Me: Pssht. eyeballing him for a sec ... Whatcha got in your pocket? Cash or flesh? I don't need no more surprises tonight.
He pulls a hand out of his pocket and shows me a bunch of crumpled up cash. I can tell there's at least 2 20's in there. I look at him for a few seconds ...
Me: Are you SURE? nod. All right. very unenthusiastically; You got a big dick.
Boop. He slaps what he's got in his hand into mine.
He: There you go. And we're here. You wanna come in for a drink or something?
Me: I'm workin' here, I gotta go. And can I just say, you need to stop drinking Bub.
He: That's what my wife keeps telling me. Here, here's the money for the fare.
Me: Oh, no. I'm covered w/what you gave me here.
He: No. That's for earlier. I'll pay the fare. And tip you. Are you sure ... ?
Me: Nope. But thanks. I'll catch you next time.
He: Can I get your cell phone number to call you directly?
Me: I'm sorry, my cell is dead. You can call base and ask for me though. Have a nice night!
I drive off.
Total take: $13 fare + $17 tip + $163 wad of cash = breakfast on him.
Me: Hiya. How's it goin'?
He: Oh God. I'm gonna be in soooo much trouble.
Me: Uh oh. Wanna tell me where you're going first and then I'll let ya pour it all out. Bartenders and Cab drivers are somewhat synonymous at this time o' night.
He told me where we were going, a very affluent neighborhood right off downtown in the West Hills. Not that far, but a nice area with a killer view.
Me: And we're off. So what happened?
He: shaking head Oh Gawd! I can't believe it!!
Me: Come on now, you know you wanna tell me. What happened? Lose a little too much money?
He: 'A little too much'???!! I gave that girl $600.00!!!
Me: Are you SHITTING ME?!! Damn. She must have been GOOOD. Aja's has a rep. as being a ... full service dance club ... after hours.
He just kinda hung his head lower.
Me: You didn't get any? WHAT? Did you get blown? he starts shaking his head. NO? Wow. No sex? shake. No blow job? shake. Did she at least rotate your tires or SOMEthing? shake. Wow. I'm in the wrong business!
He just kinda looks at me stupidly.
Me: I mean, damn. I wish I could make 600 bucks for doing nothing more than shaking my ass for ... what ... a few hours? nod. Wow. She's smarter than you or I will ever be bubba.
He just sits there as we drive along. He's almost crying now. I almost feel bad but DAMN, someone needs to say it!
Me: SoooOOOOoooo. What'd she do to earn 600 bucks? C'mon now, 'fess up. What happened?
He: Well ... she ... ahem ... she did ... you know ... that thing that women do that make men stupid.
Me: Um ... birth you?!
He: Shit. YOU know.
Me: OH. She told you that you got a big dick, right?
He sorta nods.
Me: And that was worth 600 DOLLARS?! DUDE. What the FUCK were you thinking? it's called "tact". I've never heard of it.
He: Hell. I don't know. I just thought ... well ... she was so cute. I mean, she kinda looked like you, with the long hair and all.
Me: Well hell, I'd certainly tell you ya got a big dick for 600 dollars.
He: Um ... really?
Me: Hell yeah. If you're gonna be stupid and just give it away and that's all I gotta do, you betcher sweet bippie I would.
He: Huh. Well. Go ahead.
Me: And what? Tell you? nod. Puh leeze. I betcha gave her all your money.
He: Well, not ALL of it. I'll give you what I have in my pocket if you tell me.
Me: Whoa. You need some help.
He: Please?
Me: Pssht. eyeballing him for a sec ... Whatcha got in your pocket? Cash or flesh? I don't need no more surprises tonight.
He pulls a hand out of his pocket and shows me a bunch of crumpled up cash. I can tell there's at least 2 20's in there. I look at him for a few seconds ...
Me: Are you SURE? nod. All right. very unenthusiastically; You got a big dick.
Boop. He slaps what he's got in his hand into mine.
He: There you go. And we're here. You wanna come in for a drink or something?
Me: I'm workin' here, I gotta go. And can I just say, you need to stop drinking Bub.
He: That's what my wife keeps telling me. Here, here's the money for the fare.
Me: Oh, no. I'm covered w/what you gave me here.
He: No. That's for earlier. I'll pay the fare. And tip you. Are you sure ... ?
Me: Nope. But thanks. I'll catch you next time.
He: Can I get your cell phone number to call you directly?
Me: I'm sorry, my cell is dead. You can call base and ask for me though. Have a nice night!
I drive off.
Total take: $13 fare + $17 tip + $163 wad of cash = breakfast on him.
8/26/06
"I haven't seen my friends in awhile, they left me on the curb to go to another bar."
This run was a little earlier in the night than the last story I wrote.
I was rounding the corner behind the most popular bars in town when I get flagged by the security dude at 'VooDoo'. I pull over and he tells me to hang out for a second. I wait. He comes back basically dragging this young man and pours him into the backseat of my cab.
Me: Aw come on, man, I don't drag folks into houses. I'll call another cab w/a big, strapping man driver to take care of this guy.
Dude: He was just awake. Shakes kid. Hey! You all right man? You gonna do right by this lady here, she take you home?
Kid: Ummmm. Yeah. I'm fine. Really. Just take me home.
Security dude looks at me, I just shrug and nod my head.
Me: Hey there. Kinda early to be going home already, isn't it?
He: Yeah. Probably. What time is it?
Me: 9p.
He: Wow. I started drinking at about 2p today. It's my birthday. My friends kept buying me shots.
Me: Huh. Well, happy birthday. Didja have a good time?
He: I think so. We decided to come downtown about 7p. I haven't seen my friends for awhile now. They left me on the curb a little while ago and decided to go to another bar.
Me: You consider these good friends?
He: You know.
Me: Yeah. So, how ya feeling?
He: Pretty shitty.
Me: You gonna yak?
He: Probably.
Me: Don't do it in my cab. Just let me know and I'll pull over. Really. Any time. All right?
He: K.
He lived about 6 miles away. We had to stop 13 times for him to yack out the door. (3 times on one bridge.) The last time was right in front of the cop shop on NE MLK Blvd. There was a cop standing there, laughing so hard he almost fell over. He called a couple of his friends over, they were laughing. I was just sitting there, watching this kid hang out the door. (By this point he pretty much had nothing left in him, just the heaves.)
...
I was rounding the corner behind the most popular bars in town when I get flagged by the security dude at 'VooDoo'. I pull over and he tells me to hang out for a second. I wait. He comes back basically dragging this young man and pours him into the backseat of my cab.
Me: Aw come on, man, I don't drag folks into houses. I'll call another cab w/a big, strapping man driver to take care of this guy.
Dude: He was just awake. Shakes kid. Hey! You all right man? You gonna do right by this lady here, she take you home?
Kid: Ummmm. Yeah. I'm fine. Really. Just take me home.
Security dude looks at me, I just shrug and nod my head.
Me: Hey there. Kinda early to be going home already, isn't it?
He: Yeah. Probably. What time is it?
Me: 9p.
He: Wow. I started drinking at about 2p today. It's my birthday. My friends kept buying me shots.
Me: Huh. Well, happy birthday. Didja have a good time?
He: I think so. We decided to come downtown about 7p. I haven't seen my friends for awhile now. They left me on the curb a little while ago and decided to go to another bar.
Me: You consider these good friends?
He: You know.
Me: Yeah. So, how ya feeling?
He: Pretty shitty.
Me: You gonna yak?
He: Probably.
Me: Don't do it in my cab. Just let me know and I'll pull over. Really. Any time. All right?
He: K.
He lived about 6 miles away. We had to stop 13 times for him to yack out the door. (3 times on one bridge.) The last time was right in front of the cop shop on NE MLK Blvd. There was a cop standing there, laughing so hard he almost fell over. He called a couple of his friends over, they were laughing. I was just sitting there, watching this kid hang out the door. (By this point he pretty much had nothing left in him, just the heaves.)
...
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