"... this is the part where people jump outta the bushes and kill you!!"

I got a call from base asking me if I could take a lady from the airport to just outside of Corvallis one night, (About 1.5 hrs away) to be picked up about 2a. I said yes and grabbed the bf to ride along as it was late and a long drive there/back.

It took a little while to find her (miscommunication on their part) but we were finally off about 2:30a.

We got to the other side of Corvallis and started looking for her mothers home. She wasn't sure where it was, and it was dark, and we were in the middle of some very large hills so we couldn't get any phone reception, but we finally found it. I dropped her 'round about 4a and we started back.

As an aside, her mother lives across the street from a Pekingnese farm. We drove up and about 300 of these little rats all started yapping. Could you imagine living across the road from THIS?
Eesh.

I drove on the way back, chatting w/J on this same 2 lane road thru the hills, lots of dips and dives in the road. As we're tooling along I come up one small rise and notice that there is ice on the road reflecting from the headlights. I say something and slow down, not using the brakes (like any good driver knows :o) .

Just as I come up the next rise I see about 100 yards in front of me a guy standing in the middle of the road in front of his jeep that is parked across the middle of both lanes.

Me: What the FUCK??

J: Slow down ... slow down !!!!!

I hit the brakes and of course start sliding right towards the guy. He's just standing there. I can't tell yet if he's looking at me or not as I'm laughing my ass off because J is squealing like a little girl. (I told him every time I tell this story I was going to say that, because he was). Anyway, laughing aside, I finally caught traction about 20 ft this side of dude (who's still just standing there in the road) and swerved to the right to miss him. I hit the ditch (missed his jeep by about 2 ft) and made it out the other side and stopped about 30 some odd ft past dude.

Me: Whoa.

J: I'm going to go back there and see if he's all right.

Me: Are you shitting me? This is the point in the movies where people jump outta the bushes and kill you!

J: Just stay here in the car. I'll be right back. Turn the car around and hit your high lights, if anyone comes running just take off.

Me: Yeah, like I could go far on the ice. Be careful.

He takes off to check on dude, I turn the car around. When I get my high lights on dude I can see his face and shirt front are coated in blood. Pretty much from the eyes down, although his forehead is messed up as well. He's just in a daze. Not moving much, just standing there. I jump out and get my flashlight from the trunk and go over to dude.

Me: Hey man, you all right?

J: He's not saying anything.

Dude looks at me and sorta mumbles at me.

Me: Dude! Hey!! Concentrate. You all right? Was there anyone else in the jeep with you? Talk to me.

Dude: Ummmmm. No. No one else. Not all right.

Me: All right, I tell you what I'll call the police, you come over here to the side of the road and sit down.

I help him over to the side of the road and J tries to move dude's jeep. I called 911 and told them what happened, they said it would be about 10 minutes to get to where we were. I got dude settled and went to help J. His jeep wouldn't start but we managed to get it into N and push it to where there was at least one lane open (ever tried to get any sort of leverage to push a vehicle on the ice?! Not an easy task) As we were busy effin w/dude's jeep we see a car coming from the same direction that we just had and a semi coming from the other direction.

We both grab a flashlight and try to wave down the vehicles coming. I get my semi stopped and explain what happened to driver but J's van ended up in the ditch next to dude's jeep because they hit the ice also.

I called 911 again and told them what was happening w/the van and whatnot, they said they were about 2 mins out.

I go back to dude and start talking to him, trying to keep him conscious when the fire trucks and sheriff finally show up. They sat up the kleig lights and started working.

The sheriff guy came over and talked to us for a second, trying to find out if there was anyone else in the car, what dude said, anything of that nature.

Sheriff: So you folks were just the first one's on the scene right? You didn't actually see the accident?

Me: No. We didn't see it.

Sher: All right then, ya'll can just go ahead and go now. You're from Portland right?

Me: Um. Yeah, Portland. You don't want our names, numbers, anything like that?

Sher: Nah. You didn't see anything, we're all good here.

Me: But, ... um ...

Sher: I'm sorry, but we're going to have to ask you to move your cab now so the ambulance can get in. Really, thanks for everything, but it's time for ya'll to go.

Me: Well, all right then.

So J and I drove off. He was driving, and I was basically not saying anything. About 15 miles later we hit an AM/PM at the highway entrance and we pull over to get something to drink. We get inside and were picking out our stuff, go up to the counter and J starts telling Guy Behind The Counter what had just happened.

GBTC: looking at me Wow! You guys were lucky you didn't kill that guy!!!

I just looked at him for a second and started bawling!!! Big ol' ugly crocodile tears. It was not pretty.

GBTC: Um. What'd I say? What'd I do?

J: Don't worry. She's good in a crisis but always freaks out afterwards. It just finally hit her. We're gonna go now.

He gets me out to the car and I lay down in the while he drives the rest of the way home. I went straight to bed.

Coupla hours later I wake up and go sit in the living room to veg out on the tv, my cell phone rings.

Me: 'Lo ?

Lady: Hello. Is this M?

Me: Yes.

Lady: You're a cab driver?

Me: Yes, but I'm not working right now. If you need a ride I can give you the number for my company, they can send you a cab.

Lady: No, I'm sorry, I don't need a ride. I need to know if you witnessed an accident.

Me: ... ummmm

Lady: Outside of Corvallis, last night.

Me: OH. Well, I didn't actually witness it, but I ran up on it last night.

Lady: OHMYGAWDTHANKYOUFORSTOPPING! IFYOUHADN'TOFSTOPPEDMYBROTHERCOULDBEDEADRIGHTNOW!IDON'TKNOWHOWTOTHANKYOU!!!

Me: Um. I'm sorry. I think I got out of that that you are dude's sister?

Lady: Yes!! Ohmygawd!! If you didn't stop he might have been killed.

We chat for a second and I ask her what they had found out.

Lady: He was on his way to work and hit the ice. He slid off the road into the ditch. Apparently he hit the ditch so hard that he was thrown out the back window of the jeep (soft top) and slid, on his FACE, for about 25 feet. He's going to have surgery today. He's broken most of the bones on the left side of his body, needs a plate in his skull, is going to have months and months of therapy and if you wouldn't have stopped to help him out then he could be dead right now. I don't know how to thank you! There IS no way to thank you. I can't believe you just came along at the right time. I talked to the people in the van, they were still there when I got to the scene and they talked about how you and your boyfriend helped Craig. Thank you. I know it isn't sufficient, but thank you.

Me: I'm sure anyone would have done what we did. Um, can I ask, how did you get my name and number?

Lady: I am good friends with the dispatcher at 911 and she gave it to me. Believe me when I say that we gave that sheriff hell when he said he just told you guys to leave without getting your names or numbers. I really wish there was some sort of words to thank you properly. Thank you so much for stopping.

Me: Really, it's ok. It was actually kinda lucky that my bf was along, 'cuz I tell ya, I don't think I would've stopped.

Lady: ...

Me: I mean, I would have called the police and all, but if I was alone I seriously doubt that I would have stopped.

Lady: ... REEEEally?

Me: Yup. Woman alone, middle of nowhere, sounds like a horror movie in the works. But I'm glad we did stop, now.

Lady: You bitch!! He could have DIED there and you would have just left him?!!! You fucking cold hearted fucking bitch!!!

She went on along these lines for about a minute then she hung up on me.

Whoa. Traumatic. I understand. I went back to bed. Took the night off.

Next day I got up and got to thinking about what she said, I almost felt bad. Almost. I called down to the Corvallis PD and talked to a lady there...

Me: Hi. This may seem like an odd question, but I was wondering if you could tell me how the guy that was in the accident the other night is doing.

She: I'm sorry, we don't know and can't give out that sort of information. Are you a relative?

Me: No. I'm the cab driver that came up on the accident.

She: Oh my Gawd! You're M?!!

Me: Yup.

She: Oh Gawd, let me tell you Craig still hasn't woken up. They've just finished the 2nd surgery on him and he is really messed up. I know his mother wanted to talk to you but Kim (sister) was so angry with you that she wouldn't even let his mom talk to you. I know she wants to talk to you though. Let me give you her work number, give her a call.

I called his mother, turns out she was at the hospital. The lady I talked to there gave me the run down, thanked me, etc then gave me his address so I could send some flowers to him at the hospital.

I sent them off. Never heard another word.

"You'd think they'd know that real Jags are driven by people with money ... "

Driving by a martini bar in town and get very angrily flagged by a man in a really nice suit, dragging a be-U-tiful woman by the wrist as I pull up.

He: Take me to goddamned Retriever Towing. And do it with a quickness. Damn it. Tow MY fuckin' car. Sons a bitches. Who the FUCK do they think they are? Towing my car. I'll show THEM. I'm a mother fucking aTORNEY for fuck's sake! They think they won't have a fucking lawsuit on their hands?! HA!

Me: Um, Hi. If you're done, could you tell me which Retriever lot you need to go to?

He: Whichever one is closer, damn it. I'm sorry. I'm just pissed off. Fuckers.

Me: I can hear that. Do you have an address?

He: No. Jesus. Don't you know where the fucking lot is? I'm betting that a lot of fuckers get their cars towed by them. Don't you ever take any other losers to that fucking place?

Me: All the OTHER losers have an address. If you'd like to calm down, and tell me what type of car you have I'll call them and ask which lot it's at, K?

He: Shit. All right. It's a ... wait ... the fucking meter isn't running is it? It better not be.

Me: You need to relax. You're sitting right here, does it look like the meter has been turned on? I'm trying to help you out here and you're being a complete ass. I think you might be better off waiting on the next cab that comes by.

He: Shit. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry. Really. OK, it's an XKE, hunter green. I just had the front end fixed on it. They had better NOT fuck it up. I swear it got fucked up last time it got towed downtown. You'd think they'd know that all REAL Jags are only driven by people with money and wouldn't tow them, no matter where they park their cars.

Me: turned around to look him in the face I can't believe you just said that. You really are an ass. Just be quiet and I'll try and find your car.

As we were driving over there dude was bitching to his woman about towing companies and service people in general. Prick.

He: after we get there You wait here. I want to make sure they're going to give me my car. I'll pay you for it.

Me: Of course I'll wait for you, it's what we service people do, wait on those with money.

He just looked at me and walked off, dragging his woman behind. He got in the fence and started yelling as soon as he hit the door to the office. I just sat there shaking my head.

Pretty soon one of the drivers walks into the office and a young-ish woman comes walking out looking like she's on the verge of tears. Apparently she was who he was yelling at. Poor girl. She was really upset.

I started chatting her up to distract her and pretty soon I had her laughing telling her cab stories and we finally starting talking about dude.

Me: So .... he's kind of an ass, eh?

She: He's a bastard. Thinks the world owes him. He gets his car towed for parking in a clearly marked spot and yells at me because he's too stupid to read.

Me: Yeah, had a bit to drink tonight too.

She: Yeah? Did you get him from the bar his car was towed from?

Me: Yup.

She: Hm. Here comes Denny.

Tow truck driver comes walking out to us.

Denny: Hey. That asshole asked me to pay you for him so he can calm down his woman, she's in there crying. What a dick that guy is. You all right? he hands me some money

She: Yeah. By the way, Cabbie says she picked him up from in front of the bar where he got towed.

D: Oh yeah? Good. Make the call girl! he goes back inside

She: Right away! This bastard is going to be in trouble. I'm going to call the police and let them know that we have a possible drinking driver leaving from here and what type of car he has. You watch.

I get out of my car and pop the hood to make it look like I'm checking something as dude and his pretty drive off in his Jag. He made it 1/2 a block and got pulled over by the police. I stood there and watched him get sobriety tested, put in the back of the police car, and have his car towed, again.

Heard in my cab ...

Picked up 2 gents on their way home after a dinner meeting going up to the West Hills off Broadway Drive.

Gent1: Turn left here. Oh hey, check it out, see the guy standing there in the front yard?

Me: Yup. Wait ... is that ... ?

Gent1: Yup. Cool huh? He's my neighbor. waves at dude

Gent2: Who is that?

Me: That's Art Alexakis. He's the lead singer of Everclear. You ever talk to him?

Gent1: Oh yeah. He's pretty cool.

Heard in my cab ...

2 young asian ladies I picked up at a bar on their way home:

I don't like asian boys. I'm a Twinkie. White on the inside, yellow on the outside.

"So ... ya married?"

I had to pick up a 30-ish looking fella from St Vincent's on account and take him to Hillsboro at about 1:30a a few nights ago. I walked into the hosp and yelled out his name, he walked with me out to the car and said "Go out to TV Hwy and I'll tell you where to turn."

Okee dokee. We take off. I look over and dude's staring at me. Not your average "how's
a girl end up cab driving" kinda look, but more of the "I'm gonna get you out in the middle of nowhere, skin you and live inside your body for a month" kinda look.

Me: So. How's your night? Other than the hospital visit that is? grin

He just stares at me.

Me: You doing all right over there?

He just stares at me.

I'm starting to get a bit creeped out but I think I could take him so I'm not overly concerned for my welfare. He's just a weirdo, probably not a serial killer in training type o' guy.

So I just shut up, turn up the music and let him stare at me the whole 20 odd minutes out there. We finally get to where he has to give me directions.

He: Turn right at the next light.

Me: Okee dokee.

He: Looking quite intently at my *ahem* chest. So. Ya married?

Me: Um ... Nope.

He: just looks at me for a bit again then Ya got a boyfriend?

Me: Um ... Sure.

He: Can I be your boyfriend too?

Me: Oh, I'm sorry, where I live we're only allowed one boyfriend per county. You know how it is on the eastside.

He: after a few seconds But if you could have another boyfriend would it be me?

Me: Um, sure. Of course it would. I'll let you know when the county changes the laws. K?

He: smiles Cool. I got a girlfriend.

Then he stopped talking again and pointed to his house. I was happy to get him outta there.

Nothing spectacular.

I'm in the process of changing cab companies so it might be a bit before I write another. Or at least until I get around to writing another old one.

Happy January all!

Interesting ...

I did a Yahoo search on "fare city" just to see where I rate on the list compared to Bud. I don't. :o) I am ranked down at 87 whereas Bud has about 50 of the listings before me. BUT ... I did find a book written by an English cab driver titled ... drum roll .... "My Fare City". heh.

And he's ragging on ME. Better get on that one Bud.

Snow's a comin'

If you lay your right ear on your desk (preferably still attached to your head, I don't want any MORE potential lawsuits here people) this is what the snow clouds rolling in today looked like at 4p. Pardon the blurry cell phone pic.

Guess who's back?!

My new friend Bud from "My Fare City". He's politely asking me to change my title again. You can check it out here http://heardinmycab.blogspot.com/2006/10/dont-air-our-business-in-front-of-cab.html

Bud, I already addressed the title changing, and the comments for that matter, earlier. So are you sticking by the fact that you do actually own these 2 words we share? Would all in your world really be better if I were to change the title of my blog? I'm feeling pretty powerful right now. :o)

Thank you Bud, for the "good content" comment.

Happy New Year!

New Years Eve was ...

... incredibly uneventful. Highly lucrative, but uneventful.

The only highlight in between all the many over-privileged youth that are usually above taking a cab (but thankfully weren't drinking and driving and when drunk do not care how much they tip)
is about 3:45a I was taking a lady home, out in the 'burbs and we get stopped at a light @ 122nd & Burnside. Not in one of the worst neighborhoods, but an oft travelled thoroughfare. Just as the light changed to green in front of me a group of hoodlums (hoodlums = 6 kids, all less than 14 y.o. out at 3:45a) they decided to walk against the light, in front of me.

They hit the cross walk just about 10 sec. before me, so of COURSE I had to stop. 5 of them kept walking, but laughing at me as I gave them the p.c./underage sign language for "just get the f outta my way" but the last little fucker he decides he's gonna be real cool and hit my car with his hand. I once again give a p.c. handsign for "yeah, you little fucker, you think you're cute but if I didn't have this lady in my car I'd probably run your little ass down".

I'm thinking he misinterpreted the smile I gave with that p.c. handsign because he then decided he was going to jump on the hood of my car.

"Hm." Thinks I.

He backs up about 15 feet to get a good run (straight in front of me) and while all his friends are hootin' 'n hollerin' for him to go ahead and jump on my fuckin' car (they apparently didn't feel as p.c. as I) he runs at me, with some very impressive speed I might add, takes a flying leap and in MID-AIR mind you turns to land on the hood of my car butt cheeks first.

Amazed and awed by his sheer Jordan-esque flight, I still managed to put the car in reverse and back up about 15 ft.

He missed. My car, at least. Did manage to make contact with the ground though.

And as I was driving off in the lane next to where he was laying rubbing his ass and CRYING I rolled down the window and mentioned that he might wanna make sure next time the vehicle is stationary before he tried that again. And wished him a lovely New Year.

Only 3.45 hrs into the New Year and already blew one of my resolutions to be a gooder human being. Damn it.

I wish everyone a glorious 2007.