Phone conversation with another driver ...

... male, Ethiopian, amusing and easily understood (!).

blah blah blah ...

He: Yeah. That's one of the reasons why I prefer American women to African.

Me: Hm. What is? Exactly.

He: African women talk to each other about men too much.

Me: You mean gossip? We all do that, it's a human thing, not just man/woman.

He: Yeah, but African women get more detailed. Once you sleep with one woman and she finds out you have a small dick then she tells every other woman in the country and you never have sex again.

Me: admirably suppressing my laughter Hunh. And you're thinking white women aren't like that? Maybe we just don't have as large a group of friends as the ladies in Africa.

He: Maybe. I don't think so.

blah blah blah

He: So are you EVER going to go out with me?

Me: Not now that I've found out you have a small dick, no.



text msg conversation with a customer ...

fade in: I picked up these 2 young fellas from Tigard and took them to Sherwood, in the cab for about 15 minutes. They were pretty quiet so I was telling 'em some cab stories. Between the 2 of them they said - maybe - 30 words the whole ride. This was about 1am Friday night.


Little Boy: Hey

Me: Hey yourself.


LB: How is it going

Me: Do you realize who you are texting?

LB: Yeah

Me: Hunh. Looking for more cab stories?

LB: I want some story about you

Me: Little boy I am old enough to turn you over my knee and spank your narrow ass.

LB: Yeah would you like that

Me: You might want to stop this now.

LB: Yeah right lol

Me: Seriously. I'm old enough to be your mommy.

LB: How old i like them old

Me: Too old. Isn't it past your bedtime little boy?

LB: I'm not a kid 21 so what up

I picked up a customer so couldn't respond right away ...

LB: You dont want it then

Me: As appealing as you make IT sound, no. Thank you.

LB: What

LB: Ill make it worth it baby

Me: Hm. So now I'm Baby huh? Doll, this stuff doesn't work on me. Go find a cute young girl to play with.

LB: Why not you

Me: I think sublety isn't working. Thanks for the enticing offer, but no.

LB: Ok

I thought that would be the end of it but nooooOOOOOoooo ... next night, 12:35am

LB: Hey sexy

Me: Oh Lord. You couldn't find anyone else to play with?

LB: No i want to play with you

Me: C'mon now, why me?

LB: Cause i like old gales (sic) and i want you

Me: Trust me, you don't want me.

LB: So what do you think

Me: I think not.

LB: Ok peace i just wanted a peace of ass anyways

Me: I assumed. Good luck with that little boy.

It's been a whole week now, no new messages. I think I've been rejected. ;o)